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How to deal with people in public invading space

mkeipmkeip member
in 3rd Trimester
I'm 32 weeks ftm here. Been meaning to ask this. When I go out to the store I'm repeatedly shocked by how invasive people are. Constant questions about very personal pregnant stuff from strangers is irritating enough but managable. What is stressing me out are the strangers that come up and touch my belly. Even men!! If I'm out with hubby this doesn't happen as often but if I'm alone it always does. I hate it. Was at grocery store and woman actually got between me and my cart as I was reaching for an item and started tapping my belly asking how far along. Moms let their kids run up to me when I'm in the middle of stuff and allow them to tug on me without even asking. Half the time I don't even know it's coming because I'm doing something else.
...and these are strangers. A man at the coffee shop rubbed my belly when I was in line. I'm already going to try and plan more around hubby work schedule but that can't happen all the time. Never have I cared about pregnant strangers before so what is up with people? How do you handle this ladies? It really is invasive for strangers to do this.
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Re: How to deal with people in public invading space

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  • oneblessedmessoneblessedmess member
    I hear ya! No idea what it is about pregnancy that makes people think it's okay to feel up on you! I've never had the urge to walk up to a pregnant lady and rub her belly. It's so weird. Even if it's a friend I ask first.

    Either outright tell them that you don't want to be touched, or like PP said, start rubbing their belly back and when they look at you funny just go "Oh. I thought it was suddenly socially acceptable to put your hands on other people without asking." And then walk away.

    I don't know if I come off as unapproachable or what but this has happened to me very few times during this pregnancy (with strangers at least) but the couple of times it did I just stepped back and said something like "Excuse me, I don't like to be touched" and the person was apologetic and left me alone. Nothing wrong with being straightforward.
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  • TabulaRasa25TabulaRasa25 member
    I have only had one person touch my belly without asking, and while it caught me offguard, there may have been some cultural issues at play as well in that particular case.  I wasn't offput, just surprised. But I have a much smaller personal space bubble than most, admittedly.
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  • irsikbirsikb member
    I call this the "zoo animal effect" I'm shocked at how once a woman becomes pregnant all privacy and personal space are out the window.

    I did start touching people back and it freaked them out, it was great! I just said "oh is this awkward?".

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  • HWKIHWKI member
    I had a lady in the waiting room of the clinic I work in grab my belly with both hands and start rubbing it. She said it was "for luck" in her culture, so she must have seen the shock on my face. I have seen a Tshirt saying something to the effect of "If you didn't put it there don't touch it". The kids I work with pat it sometimes but it's just the adults that creep me out. Men staring also creeps me out.
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