Hello Again Ladies,
So this is my first, I guess, more serious post. I'm a little nervous, but I think talking about this with the audience we have in our BMB will be helpful. I just want to preface that I do NOT want to make anyone feel bad, sad or relive a their negative or sad pregnancy experiences. If at any point my question(s) and post do that, I genuinely apologize. That isn't why I'm asking what I am asking. But here goes: I'm 27 and I will, God willingly, be blessed to give birth to my first child in December. I'm super excited, but I'm also very scared. When I was 18, while in a negative relationship situation, I was pregnant and I lost the child at 4 weeks on my 19th birthday. I'm blessed to have an awesome mom who supported me and stood by me the whole way. I'm currently reaching out to all of you because even though it has been almost 10 years since that experience, I am still really paranoid and afraid of losing my LO. Is this something that is common? Also, if anyone else deals with this fear and anxiety, how do you cope? I feel like anything I do, I have to be super cautious or fearful. Like I have to call the OB and get permission to do and eat things and so on... Maybe this is a silly newbie question, but I looked this up in our BMB for past posts on this...I didn't see any ( maybe I overlooked them?), but I'd like some advice please. Thank you in advance and again, I apologize if this stirs up any sad, negative, hurt or anything of that sort of emotion for you ladies. I really just want bond, and learn and participate. Hopefully, I don't hurt anyone.
Re: Fear ( Previous Loss Mentioned)
@nik6499 is right, taking a deep breath always helps and we are past the worst of it. We take it a day at a time and as time passes, our worry diminishes but doesn't completely disappear. Luckily, I only get really nervous now right before appts, even after several doctor assurances.
There's nothing specific that'll help everyone, you'll have to find your own coping mechanisms to worry less. We like to think our 3 angel babies are looking over these 2.
Your concerns are common but don't let them keep you from fully enjoying this pregnancy. There is also a PGAL, pregnant after loss, group on this BMB too. Maybe search for their posts so you can connect with others in similar situations.
It is a bit comforting to know that we are past the "danger zone" and it's highly unlikely that something bad will happen. When I start to freak myself out I have to remind myself of that and as long as I am not bleeding or cramping things are ok.
I hope things get better for you! You're not alone and I'm glad I'm not crazy for feeling this way haha
I was very lucky to have family and friends who were so supportive, and a support group of people that have become friends. One of the things that helped me most was talking with others about my babies.
I still have massive anxiety with this current pregnancy, but I've sought out the best care possible, and that's all I can do. We have a Pgal page, and in fact, there are Pgal boards on the bump too, which can be very helpful.
Keep talking, seek answers, and don't be afraid of offending others. Your babies are important. Both this one and the one that passed. Hugs.
Ok so I'm hoping this will make you feel better, and yes in ripping open some old wounds, I had a missed miscarriage at 9w 3d after being raped at 15 years old by the guy I was dating. No one knew I said no, no one knew about the knife because it was date rape. My family would have felt a lot different about me carrying or trying to carry if they knew before I lost her. That was 13 years ago, I still collapse into a puddle of tears and guilt any time I think about her. I'm finally starting to deal. In addition to that I was told there was a 1 in 1,000,000,000 chance I would ever be able to get pregnant on my own, and if I did I would lose it.(case and point I've had 5 chemical pregnancies since the age of 21 when I started trying to get pregnant again). I do not discuss my chemical pregnancies because if I thought of all of the loss than I would completely fall apart because I can barely handle seeing the sonogram pictures of the pregnancy that was more real than I got a positive pregnancy test, and I always got my period within 24 hours, enough to realize what was wrong. I was straight out told from doctors my pregnancy was a medical abnormality because it shouldn't have worked. My tubes were too clogged from my stage 4 endometriosis, my uterus is seriously retroverted, my uterus was messed up from my last pregnancy from an infection that came after and from endometriosis destroying part of the walls. Yet here i am 20 weeks and some change pregnant with a very healthy baby girl according to my anatomy scan yesterday. Do I worry, yes. Do I annoy the living hell out of my SO by always thinking something is wrong, yes. Am I going to stop until I give birth, probably not since I'm high risk and I have high risk for preeclampsia.
Your not alone everyone's journey is different those with losses or who had trouble conceiving are those who appreciate their journey to parenthood more, but it doesn't mean there is ever any right way to do it.
My mom had a chemical pregnancy before my sister, she swears she wasn't nervous with my big sister, but I know she was when little things come up. Her due date with my sister was a day before mine is now, so we are about the same age (I'm a little older than she was by like 5 months at the time) and have pretty much the same due date 31 years apart both with little girls, I just pray I don't have a mini version of my sister since she has a mini version of me.
Take one day at a time, ask your doctor for some good reading material on pregnancy, what to expect I hear is a great book. I've been through it with so many friends and family members I know who to ask about what, but every pregnancy is different so the nurses line at my doctors is my life line some days.
Baby Girl 12.9.15
MC 4.7.14 @ 21 W - Turners Syndrome
Me:34 DH:41 1 son: 6 2 step sons: 18, 12
BFP: 4/24/08 - Missed Miscarriage found 5/29/08
BFP: 11/21/08 - DS born 7/13/09
BFP:5/8/14 - Chemical pregnancy
BFP: 4/11/15....stick baby stick!!!
Hi Ladies
I do understand, I've lost 2 boys myself and so far the 3rd baby is holding on. I still get very nervous and I try to be very careful. My prayers are with you that you will have a healthy beautiful baby.
A lot of the ladies on here have experienced a loss, and although I have not, I've seen how comforting and helpful they are and genuinely care. Try to relax and enjoy making a little human, next thing you know, you'll be holding your little bundle of joy in your arms =]
I get panicky before every midwife appt that there won't be a heartbeat.
I hate that question if this is my first child because it has not come out yet and if I say yes, it's like dismissing my miscarriage and if I say no, then explaining is needed when they ask how old my kid is. ugh.