Saying goodbye

raelynch87 · July 2015

My grandmother was recently hospitalized. Over the last 2-3 years she's had a few health scares but she always bounces back. This time is different and it is looking like she won't make it another week. I was completely in denial until 2 days ago. She lives back home in California and I'm in Oregon- a 12 hour drive away. My midwife said she is fine with me taking a quick trip home, 36-48 hours, but I need to make sure my insurance would cover my delivery should I go into labor while in CA(I'm on hold now). I'm tempted to drive down no matter what since I'm 36 weeks 2 days and I've had a low risk pregnancy. This is my last grandparent AND parent. Both of my parents passed away when I was 20. I'm just so sad and my grandma keeps telling her nurse she has to hold on to meet my baby.

amylianne · July 2015

I'm so sorry. T&P for you and your grandma

Miz_Liz · July 2015

I am so sorry that you are going through this, especially right now. I think you are making the right decision in going to see her if you can, that way you will not have any regrets. While I do not know your personal beliefs, I believe our loved ones who have moved on are still with us, so I personally believe if she does pass before your little one gets here, she will still be with you through the whole process and she will meet your little baby! Do you have someone who will be making the trip with you so that you aren't alone? I am thinking of you!!

hclzmm14 · July 2015

I am so sorry you're going through this. It's so hard to have to say goodbye. I was just talking to my husband the other day that I'm not sure which is harder: having the chance to say goodbye or not. I have experienced both, and probably they are equally difficult. I say go no matter what. I don't think you would regret it. I'll be thinking of you, and be safe on your drive.

kelseyrayay · July 2015

I had a kinda similar situation with my grandmother. She was diagnosed with COPD before I got married. Drs gave her only 4 months to live. My wedding just so happened to be 4 1/2 months away. She kept telling her hospice nurse I'll make it to then. Plus she had never got to meet my DH since he was in the military and never got to come home to meet her. So she really wanted to meet him. Anyways 2 weeks before my wedding she passed. What killed me was before she passed she told me I'm sorry I didn't make it to your wedding. Broke my heart! She tried so hard. Bless her heart! I am very sorry for what you are going through. I know it's not an easy thing but my thoughts and prayers are with you and your grandmother. God bless you and your family!

laylababe3 · July 2015

Thoughts and prayers for your grandma.. I'm sorry that you're going through this right now.

SassetteSmurfling · July 2015

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I would definitely make the trip to go. I don't know a ton about insurance but I would think child birth would be covered no matter where you are if it's an emergency situation. It's not like you're traveling for the purpose of a c section or induction that you can control... I could be wrong though.

Just have someone go with you if possible so you aren't alone.

Miz_Liz · July 2015

Also, just a thought, maybe you can think of some way to "involve" her in the process when you go out before baby is here. Maybe bring the outfit you will bring baby home in to show her....tell her the baby's name if she doesn't already know it....share U/S photos.....bring pictures of the nursery.....talk about things you are nervous about with becoming a mom, things you are looking forward to....try to bring some of the excitement of the new baby to her. Hopefully it will lift her spirits and make the visit an upbeat one by giving you both something to focus on besides the obvious.

pinkspringtulip · July 2015

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I agree that you should definitely try to visit her if you can.

gulimz · July 2015

I'm so sorry you are going through this. If your midwife says it's ok, you should go just so you do not regret later.
Whatever your decision maybe, I wish you the best.

benmel31 · July 2015

I am so sorry you are going through this. I was also going to say I hope you have someone who can drive down to CA with you.

jlsweets · July 2015

Thoughts and prayers to you both

CarelessDiva89 · July 2015

T&p's to both of you

cseley321 · July 2015

So sorry to hear this. If you can have someone help you with the driving it would be ideal. But I would try my best to make it if possible. Sorry again that you are going through this.

Joie80 · July 2015

I'm so sorry. I hope you get to see her. Thoughts and prayers with you all.

toccoaparker · July 2015

Prayers for you and her! Sorry you are having to go through this, especially right now

toccoaparker · July 2015

^^^^ wrong emoji, it won't let me edit!!

acgonzalez22 · July 2015

Prayers to you and your grandmother.

neludelu · July 2015

I say jump in the car and go. You will regret it forever if you don't. Just toss everything you might need in the car and head on. I lost my grandmother back in February- she was my mother figure and I was devastated. I couldn't impatient being in your shoes. Just go.

xsunshinelady15 · July 2015

I hope you travel safe and that your visit is peaceful. Depending on where she is being held, they may have a portable ultrasound machine that they can use to let her at least "see" the baby or a Doppler that you can borrow so she can "hear" the baby. Nurses are so sweet and may accommodate this request since it is such a special situation. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Sending a creepy internet hug.

Shine2015 · July 2015

Prayers for you and her.

Kath1083 · July 2015

I am so sorry. It is hard to go through this while being pregnant. I lost my grandma in May and it was so hard because this would have been her first great grand child and she really wanted to meet him. That's how we let the name out we weren't going to nessicarily tell anyone but how can you not tell a dying woman who asked. Anyways it gave me such peace knowing she knew he was on his way. But please remember to take it easy I was 28 weeks and it really took a toll on me. Again so sorry.

raelynch87 · July 2015

Thank you everyone. My insurance told me they won't cover a delivery outside their coverage area which is just my state. I'm going to leave Sunday morning anyways. I would have left yesterday but by waiting I can take someone with me.

jenandbrett · July 2015

I'm so sorry

PurpleBookmark · July 2015

I'm so sorry, thoughts and prayers for you. I hope you have a safe trip.

kettlekitten · July 2015

It sounds like you have already decided to go, but for what it's worth it seems like the right decision - in reality you have a month left of your pregnancy and no reason to think the baby will come early. I'm sure it will give you peace of mind and some closure. Even though your grandma may not be able to meet your baby I'm sure it will give her peace and comfort to have you by her side. All the best, thoughts are with you.

SashaDenn25 · July 2015

Im with most others. Just go ahead and go! Youll likely regret it if you dont and if you do go into labor there then everything happens for a reason and she would get to see that beautiful child as it seems is her wish. Thinking of you.

mimigrace12 · July 2015

So sorry you are going through this, especially at this time. Thinking of you and your grandma

BeautifulBedlam · July 2015

I JUST dealt with this same situation. I'm 35 weeks with polyhydromnios and a big boy otw. My grandmother, who actually raised me and I consider my mother, became very sick suddenly a couple weeks ago. My husband and I live in Virginia, while my family lives in northern Minnesota, and our finances are very tight. The little extra cash we had was for the baby stuff we still needed. We ultimately decided to make the trip--28 hours by car--and although our baby fund is now short, I don't regret it. We were there for 3 days, and everyday she became less lucid. But she held my hand, she told me she loved me and she reminisced about my childhood. I'm the oldest of 7 siblings and the only one of her grandchildren who is yet to start a family, something she's been bugging me about for years. I was in the military for 8 years, then college, then grad school, then trade school, then getting my business going....I was too busy. She always talked about me starting a family.
A week ago, she passed away. We can't afford to attend the funeral, although I doubt my OB and MW would let me travel that far at this point anyway.
I'm drowning in different types of what-ifs and regrets and grief, but I thank God that I got that last little bit of time.

If you have the chance, go to her. If I hadn't, I don't think I could live with myself.

Sending good thoughts to you and your family.

bacBread · July 2015

Praying for you!

cseley321 · July 2015

My grandmother was not the one who raised me but I was always very close to her. She was very sick for about 3 years and eventually passed away. I was involved with my job and was rising through the ranks and never could make time towards the end to go out and see her. I regret it so much now. I'm glad you made the decision to go, I wish I had done the same.

Saratiff · July 2015

Thoughts and prayers your wAy! I am so sorry you are going through this. My step brothers father died when his was wife was 9 months pregnant. They live in CA and we all live in CT. They both flew home. She said there was no way in hell that she would not be there for her husband through this. And my nephew is just fine. She said worst comes to worst we have the baby in ct. Oh well. I say go!

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