April 2015 Moms

Sex after childbirth

So....my baby just turned 3 months and my husband and I tried being intimate last night for the first time after giving birth. I figured since I was given the ok from my OB it was time to get the romance going again. Boy, was I wrong! It was incredibly painful and I bled for about 4 min. I contacted my primary doc this morning and she said it wasn't normal for me to be in so much pain. But when I contacted my OB, he reassured not to worry and that everything was ok. He said it takes @ least 3-4 times for intercourse to feel normal again. Not sure what to do or think from here. The last thing on my mind is being intimate with my husband again which is so wrong. Help! Any similar experiences?

Re: Sex after childbirth

  • I had a very similar experience. DH and I attempted when I was 8 weeks pp and had to stop right away. (I had a big baby with quite a few stitches) I felt as though I was in labor all over again and was horrified that it would be that way forever. We have tried three times since then, twice successfully. The pain definitely gets better but I wouldn't call it fun or a great time by any means. From what I've heard, it can take up to a year to actually feel great again. We have been taking it VERY slow and using lots of lube. Here's to time!
  • Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me! It just seems like no one ever educates you about the aftermath of child labor! Geez! And yes, here's to time!!! Ugh
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  • Ugh I've been so scared to try, I had some stitches from tearing and a lot of swelling because the stitches took forever due to some mystery bleeding! I've been all healed up for quite some time, baby is 3 months this week. Husband has been a patient saint and I keep saying we'll give it a shot, then backing out. Got some new lube and working my way up to it, but still freaked out. Also have a ton of air bubbles down there still which makes for weird sex I imagine, when does that stop?! Not helping in feeling sexy!
  • Not to worry... It will get better! It took my husband and me about 5 times to feel normal. Each try we were able to go a little bit longer until it was feeling good for the whole time. And now it's better than it ever has been! Just take your time, stop if you need to, and use a lot of lube!!
  • foreskforesk member
    So true, nobody talks about postpartum sex which is so weird because if you google it, a lot of women actually have issues with it. My baby is 3.5 months. We tried three times since I gave birth. The first was at 6 weeks post partum when my doctor told me all my stiches healed nicely and it was okay to resume sexual activity. Well I certainly didn't feel this way because sex was painful and horrible. The next two times were a tiny bit better but I'm telling you everything feels soo tight now, as if I was stitched too tight. I do hope that it gets better given time. Because crying from disappointment after sex, which is what I've been doing, is no fun at all. My husband is very supportive and I appreciate it, but I am still very upset :(
  • I had the same experience the first time very painful and bled. It got better each time! No worries it will get better, just take it slow!
  • DZandLZDZandLZ member
    edited July 2015
    We've tried twice since DS was born. Once at 8 weeks, once last night (12.5 weeks). It was painful and burned/stung just as bad both times. I had a c-section, so no issue with stitches. But it also was painful starting about 2 months before DS was born. At that time I told my OB/Gyn and she said it was normal, that things were swollen down there b/c of the pregnancy. At my 6-week check up she mentioned how dry I was while doing my PAP. We've used a ton of lube both times, but nothing is helping. I also have zero interest in sex right now.
  • I have no interest in even trying. My poor husband, he's been waiting forever! I'm too scared though.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • We waited until about 11 weeks postpartum, but I also still had stitches at my 6 week check. We've had sex 3 times and it gets better I promise. As my doctor said "communicate, take it slow and use lots of lube".

    BabyFruit Ticker'>ticker 

  • I had my first child 4 months ago and we waited a little over 3 months. I had a lot of tearing and it was just too painful for me. We have had 3 successful tries and I am still working on enjoying sex. It was very painful for me the first time after delivery and will hopefully get better as time goes on. My husband has been so patient and I am just ready to not be in pain!
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