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March 2015 Moms
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PP Depression

SharLovesAlexSharLovesAlex member
in March 2015 Moms
I find myself getting sad some days. My husband and I have had some problems (not baby related) lately, and some days I just feel like motherhood is too hard and I need a break. I don't feel like doing anything at all. Then I feel awful for even thinking such a thing. I don't know what's wrong. I'm afraid I might develop PP Depression, but if I talk about it with anyone, they're going to be watching me like a hawk and maybe it's not that serious..? I don't know. I love my baby and wouldn't let anything happen to him...but some days I feel so out of it I just don't want to do anything but just sit there (of course I don't, though). Please no judgment, I'm just opening up and wondering if anyone else struggles and is this PPD?
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Re: PP Depression

  • torie2132torie2132 member
    I have off days also. I'm pretty sure I'm anemic, and need my iron tested again. I lost a lot of blood giving birth. It was extremely low right after. So I have bad days where I'm extremely dizzy and feel totally out of it. Of corse those are the days when nugget is extra fussy or won't nap. I feel like I just want to walk away. But I had anxiety issues pre baby and am back on medication as I'm not breast feeding. I think that it's just part of being a mom, babies are hard no matter how good they are. Being on all the time is hard! Hang in there, you're doing a great job! If you find yourself having those days more than not go talk to your doctor. That's what they're there for and it should be a judgement free zone. They know physiologically what is going on and want to help!
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  • mybabylove3415mybabylove3415 member
    I have the same problem sometimes I've been in the house 24/7 since I was 4 months pregnant and still in the house I've been taking care of this little boy everyday all day sometimes the dH helps but he works a lot or is sleeping we have two cars but I don't feel like going any where because I have to bring the baby .. I never have a day or a second without him except when I'm in the shower.. I'm so tired and I get frustrated but my DH GETS mad at me like I did something wrong like I'm not supposed to be sad,angry,tired and need a break, my son is a good boy but he's teething and Ima FTM in 19 and just want to get out for a few so alone get my hair done something.. I don't trust no one with my kid because I had family issues growing up.. I have to do all online classes in the fall so I'm really stuck in the house with baby.. I know it will get better but I get what everyone is saying about PP DEpression trust me lets hang in there !!
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  • KD32412KD32412 member
    I was the same with my first. I barely did anything! She was a preemie, so I was scared to take her out and did not want her getting sick. I had to force myself to go out, or even get out of my pajamas. I think it's normal, being a mommy is tiring. My DH would always check that I was ok though, I think he was really worried about PPD.

    Invest in a good baby carrier, I suggest the ergo. Go out, walk around, window shop, have a bite to eat, etc. If I could do it over again with my first, I would have taken her out much more. It's sooooo much harder when you have TWO kids.
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  • asmoleyasmoley member
    I have been okay for the most part since the crazy hormones subsided until recently. Now, all of a sudden, I find myself to be sad a lot more with many more down periods and more moments where all I can think about is wishing for alone time. You're definitely not alone and I've wondered too if it's normal this far out or if I should worry. I'm thinking I will wait until August at baby's 4 month checkup and see if it improves.
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  • klcarr19klcarr19 member
    I went back to work when my LO was 6 weeks, I had to work through so many emotions then... Especially exhaustion. I would come home from work and put her on the floor and just lay with her. I got depressed that by the end of the day I couldn't be with her without the exhaustion. Once summer started and I was home again I went all out going places with her, now a month and a half later we have more lazy days... I feel bad but sometimes we just need to lay around in Jammies and watch the Price is Right! I think it comes with the territory of motherhood. I don't think it makes us "bad" to wish for one day "off" but I've found when I go to get a pedicure I catch myself on my phone texting DH about LO or looking at pictures of her. I usually rush home. It's totally normal and hopefully it will pass!
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  • noodlienoodlesnoodlienoodles member
    babyh310 said:

    Two thoughts... one, I was told there is another hormone swing around 3 months (hence all the hair loss!) and that wild hormonal craziness we felt at 2 weeks can come back for a bit. My second thought is that if you ARE experiencing depression, please don't fight that reality by denying it or hoping it will go away; that only makes things harder for you and LO. Natural ways of fighting depression include being outside in the sun (baby can't be in direct sunlight or overheat so just standing outside for a bit when baby naps or going for a stroll after 5/6 pm), exercise (pinterest even has ideas for working out with baby!), doing things you enjoy like hobbies, spending time with other people, B complex vitamins, fish oil, vitamin d... and perhaps consider talking to a therapist. I understand the stigma and obviously any professional would take it seriously to evaluate any risk of harm to you or your baby. They also know it is a real thing that needs help. Going without help is what poses the most risk. I know it feels like more effort than its worth to get out, but sometimes just getting a $1 cone from mcdonalds and driving through a pretty neighborhood listing to the radio while baby naps can make you feel like a whole new woman. You need to take care of yourself to take care of that baby. For those saying DH doesn't get it or acts angry when you need a break, educate him and communicate about what you're feeling. 24/7 non-stop with no change of pace is HARD. Don't let him not getting it invalidate you or keep you from taking care of yourself.

    +1 !

    I'm sorry you're having a hard time @SharLovesAlex i wish I had some advice but i do agree with what PP said here. As always, you know you have is to come talk to, but don't overlook getting help outside of the Bump if you really need it. I know your MIL has a lot to do with your stress. It's not fair, but I think your starting to get the hang of telling her to back off. :)

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    For SuzyQ and all the M15 losses


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  • ellageloellagelo member
    Im a ftm too and experienced the same thing... On my baby's first month it was tough because i had to adjust and learn everything as a full time mom. There were times i just cry by myself when i cant stop him from crying or when im exhausted and just want to sleep but still need to take care of him. I thought im about to lose my mind because i have the same routine everyday and cannot go out to have a change of environment. Even if i want to have a "me" time its not possible because i have to wait until my sister or bf is available to watch over my lo. There were even times when i look in the mirror and get depress for not having time to take care of myself. Sometimes I reminisce those days when im still free and cant help to compare my situation now. Sometimes i feel bad for thinking that i regret being a mom, but then would i be happy if im still free now? When i talk about my sad days to my bf, he was supportive and let me go out when he's available and now im feeling normal again. My lo is now 4mos old and is easy to take care of. When im out of the house, i miss my lo too quickly and returns home right away. Just pray to god and everything's going to be fine
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  • SharLovesAlexSharLovesAlex member
    Thanks everyone. I definitely don't have more of those days than not. I just wondered if I was the only one, then maybe I was experiencing PP depression. I just feel a little overwhelmed some days. And his dad helps me a lot, or as much as LO allows, because after so many minutes, he wants to come right back to me. I love being a mom, don't get me wrong, it's just do hard to always be "at work" if you know what I mean. But he's a good baby, so for the most part, I'm happy and content being at home with him! @KD32412 I have a Moby carrier and we go out every day! Walking around the neighborhood, to the market, wherever, so we're not cooped up! That helps a lot. Then I don't feel so stir crazy. @noodlienoodles Yes, she has still been at it, it's gotten so out of hand. Last Saturday she got upset with me because the baby cries when she holds him. She actually blamed me and said it's because I'm the only one that holds him during the week, and that I need to take him around other people more. I got a little snappy with her and asked her what exactly I was supposed to do during the week when I'm home with him?? Of course I'm the only one to hold him! I'm the only one here! And I told her everyone has seen him just about every weekend, but that she needs to realize he doesn't KNOW her yet, he hasnt even developed object permanence, so he forgets her when he doesn't see her. It's not my fault! Then we told her we weren't going to be giving him rice cereal because (in my opinion) it has no nutritional value. Someone bought us a baby bullet, so we'll be making him baby food. I told her it just turned to sugar and we didn't want him to have it. So what does she do? She goes to the market later that evening to look at a box of rice cereal and calls my husband and reads him the nutritional facts. Ugh! She took tons of pics on Saturday, but whenever I held the baby, all that was in the pic was my hands or arms. I told my husband I was fed up, that I'd had enough of her stupid comments and second guessing. I said I didn't want to see her until he talked to her about how she acts and how it makes me feel. I also told him if he doesn't, or she doesn't listen, I will tall to her, and she will not be allowed to come over until she starts acting right! She's so all-in-our-business all the time, it does stress me the eff out! Always calling and wanting to come over or wanting us to come over...I told my husband that she is obsessed with the two of them, which he didn't like hearing, but it's the truth, and that she makes me feel like if I died today, she'd be in heaven because she'd have my husband and baby all to herself. Yes, she's that bad. So it's no wonder I'm losing my mind. I have her all over us all the time, and then trying my best to be a good mom (I think I'm doing a great job), it's a lot some days. But I will say this, my baby hasn't been sick once, he's always happy (unless he's being a fuss face, of course) and enjoys being with us. He's never come to any harm, I bf him...so she can kiss my you know what if she thinks just because she raised 2 boys she's a better mom than I am. I'm awesome.

    Thanks for taking the time to read and respond everyone. I love coming here and talking it out and getting feedback and support. It's helpful!
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  • SharLovesAlexSharLovesAlex member
    edited July 2015
    You are all awesome moms. I talked to my therapist (I've struggled with depression before, so yes, I already have a therapist!) and he assured me it's normal some days to feel down, you're not yet used to being needed so much. It's not uncommon. We're all doing a great job, being a mom is one of the most important jobs in the world. All of you with more than one child, I commend you, you're superwomen! :)
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