First, where are these well behaved kids you speak of???
Second, do the kids annoy you or does the mother annoy you? Kids are generally products of their environments and if they annoy you, you need to step back and locate the cause. Kids aren't adults and you shouldn't treat them as your equals (i.e. don't get annoyed with them like you would an adult, they don't know any better and you are wasting your energy.) To me, it sounds as if the father just needs to step up his dad game. If the kids are treating him like a baby-sitter, or are disrespectful, there should be consequences for their behavior because that is what a parent would do (vs. a baby-sitter). It sounds like SO is on the dangerous path of having a child that he will favor other the others and you are with him to support this decision.
Third, how often does he see his kids? Is the time well spent together and do they have chores and responsibilities at your house? Why does he have their best interest at heart over the mother? Am I missing something? Parenting is hard work and we can't blame our child's attitudes towards us as parents on anyone but ourselves. If they don't respect him as their father, and you as their step mother, I'd suggest to not give up, and to work hard at establishing the relationship you all want. But honestly, it sounds as though you want nothing to do with them and maybe you want him to give up?
The very first line of the original post read as, "I really like kids, but only when they are well-behaved." (Hence my first response.) I never got to see the second post before it was deleted but I'm sure she thinks I'm the asshole.
The very first line of the original post read as, "I really like kids, but only when they are well-behaved." (Hence my first response.) I never got to see the second post before it was deleted but I'm sure she thinks I'm the asshole.
I believe it then went into the mother of the children being lazy and collecting support and making her kids hate the father and her. She fills their heads with lies blah blah blah. He feels like this pregnancy is actually his first because he's always wanted a daughter (mind you he has one) and he's so wonderful again blah blah blah. The children latch onto any man the mother dates. It was a hot mess and I pretty much "homer Simpsoned in to the hedge".
Yeah the whole, "he feels like this is his first", bothered me. If he can dismiss his other children like that, what makes you think he won't do that to you and yours? Why would you even want a male that can be so dismissive of his children? If the children are latching onto any man the mom is dating, maybe that's a sign he needs to step up and be dad. Then again I'm replying to comments that aren't even there anymore lol
@BoomBarian I read her reply to you right before it got deleted!!! It was opposite of everything she said in original post and justifying everything she said. And it was all about giving opposing points about everything you said. And now it's gone. Just when I thought this was gonna be a popcorn worthy thread.
I'll be honest... I only clicked on this thread because I saw that it was a DD. When you DD, @brittanispears, it only attracts more attention to your post. Way to go.
O'15 September Siggy Challenge -- Third Trimester Woes
DDs don't bother me too much. We all do stuff we regret. It's annoying to find half a post gone, but my inclination when someone does a DD is to assume that they regret what they posted and to leave it (them) alone. I know I'm a total wet blanket.
@BoomBarian I don't think you're an a-hole. I responded and deleted it because I felt I wasn't articulating the situation clearly. I just needed to vent a little. I'd brought it up because of an email I received from either What To Expect or The Bump with forum posts about stepmoms who felt similarly about their situation. I thought I was strange for feeling the way I did. Anywho, sorry for deleting it but I do appreciate your input.
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@BoomBarian didn't realize you liked having convos by yourself ! Girl hit the quote button next time ! Haha :P