Loosing Hope- Advice/Support would be great

babycarrott · July 2015

I just found out that my 5th IUI failed. For a short background, I have been pregnant three times before, twice on my own and once via IUI. All three ended in miscarriage during the first trimester. I have unexplained infertility as a diagnosis. After my third IUI resulted in a pregnancy and then a loss, I decided to try IUI again. The past two times have been with a higher dose of clomid and progesterone with no luck. I can do one more round of clomid and another IUI if I choose. IVF may be the next step. I am 33 years old.

I guess I am looking for advice/support. Any one here go on to have successful IVF after so many IUI's? I am just wondering if it is worth it to spend all that money just to end in miscarriage again. I know how horrible that sounds but I don't think I can handle another miscarriage. This process is HARD!! There are days I want to throw in the towel but giving up is even harder to do.

bsckgb7 · July 2015

Sorry for your losses. Have they done testing to see why you keep miscarrying? Like a clotting disorder?

jnnfrrose6 · July 2015

I'm sorry for your losses. There are also TTC after a loss and Trouble TTTC boards here that may have members who have been through similar situations. Not trying to run you off from here, just wanting to give you all the possible resources that may be helpful to you!

lifeonthehill · July 2015

I have no advice but I am so sorry for your losses and your frustrations.

I second PP suggestions of the TTC after a loss and TTTC boards.

Tippy05 · July 2015

I'm so sorry for your losses. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for your. Hopefully you find some peace and support either here or on the other board PP's have mentioned.

jnissa · July 2015

I'd recommend the Trouble Trying to Conceive or Infertility boards, too. Those ladies have a lot of advice and experience.

I'm guessing with all that clomid and IUI you're already seeing an RE? Have they done sperm fragmentation on your husband to rule out a problem on his end with his "product?"

So, I never did IUIs and went straight to IVF. One advantage though is that (though it adds to the total cost) you could get some insight into whether it's embryo quality or something else going on pre-implantation if you did the pdg testing. So expensive, but if you can rule out embryo issues it can narrow down the treatment options. And there's probably an argument that if your problem is poor egg quality IVF gives you a better chance because it will produce more embryos/eggs than IUIs.

Unexplained IF just sucks though because you're shooting in the dark.

But I do think this. I just spent $22k on an IVF round that I know is unlikely to work. It hurt for a day, and then I had to get into the mindspace that the money was worth it just to have closure that we'd tried everything we could to try for a sibling. I wouldn't have been able to move on if I hadn't. So if you feel like you won't be able to move on unless you know you left it all on the table trying, then you may have to let go of the pain of the money (and it is pain, so much pain, I cried about the money for a full day).

Best of luck!

babycarrott · July 2015

Thank you Ladies! I will definitely post this on the other boards you mentioned. New to this so I was unsure of where to post.

@kgbbsc7 I am taking aspirin as a precaution. Apparently you can not be tested for the clotting disorder until 12 weeks after a miscarriage

All other testing comes back that I am fine. Ultrasounds show a perfect lining.

@jnissa Thank you for sharing. My husband has gone through all the testing for males. They say he is an over producer but an over achiever, meaning he produces 3 times as much but only 75% are good. The RE said that after the sperm washes he is perfect and way better than the average so its not him. I have had an HSG so no blockage, I ovulate normally but they give me clomid so I will produce more follicles each time. Its frustrating to not have a diagnosis. I agree with you about the IVF and egg retrieval. At least if I do it I know if its the egg quality or not. I am VERY lucky and am being treated at Walter Reed so my IVF will be $6,000, but that is still alot of money. I have heard it is very painful so I was trying every option first but I might just have to do. The pain will be worth it if I can get a baby out of it.

letyourheartbeyourguide · July 2015

I don't have any advice to share, but I'm so sorry for your loss. In addition to the TTCAL/TTTC boards others mentioned, you might want to also check out the Pregnant After a Loss or Pregnant After IF boards for some success stories.

bntfroggie · July 2015

OP I would agree that the Infertility boards would be better for your question. I think if it were me (and keep in mind I'm just speculating because I can't even imagine what you are going through) I would want to exhaust everything possible so that if it doesn't work out I knew I tried everything in my power and it wasn't meant to be. I think the what ifs would eat me alive, if I didn't. My thoughts and prayers will be with you during this time. I hope for the best for you.

AgGal2010 · July 2015

Just wanted to give you a hug and tell you I'm sorry for your trouble and heart ache

BabyIntegers · July 2015

I highly recommend this article as well as the resources they have available for this kind of a thing: https://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1039328/understanding-recurrent-miscarriage

It says that if miscarriages are unexplained, then someone has a good chance of having a successful pregnancy in the future. It also says that tissues can be taken to find any chromosome abnormalities in either you or your DH.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. So sorry.

cattlebride · July 2015

I don't have any advice but hugs to you op.

bsckgb7 · July 2015

I have a clotting disorder that will cause me to continue an aspirin therapy + Lovenox injections once I get pregnant. The clotting disorder is called anti-phospholipid syndrome. It's typically not diagnosed in healthy women until they have re-current miscarriages. This was diagnosed with bloodwork. There are other clotting disorders that can also affect miscarriage that they can test for now. I hope you get some much needed answers and FX for a sticky baby soon!!

coffeeB4tea · July 2015

I don't have any advice but sending you positive thoughts @babycarrott Fx you get your take home baby soon

Hopietaylor91 · July 2015

My thoughts and prayers are with you! I'm so sorry for your loss!

brambles1 · July 2015

Wishing I had advice to share. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts

mommyportz · July 2015

@babycarrott , I am also without advice, but full of sorrow for your losses...I am so sorry. I'm sending all of my good vibes your way and keeping my fingers crossed that you get some answers and your rainbow baby soon.

Edit: Finishing thoughts is hard.

babycarrott · July 2015

Thank you everyone so very much!!! I really needed to hear those words of encouragement, good vibes and prayers.

HCG this morning confirmed what I knew with HPT, BFN

However, I had a long talk with my doctor about the next steps. He would really like me to try clomid and IUI again. It will be my sixth time since November of last year. He said that since I got pregnant before this way he wants to give it another shot before we go to the much more invasive IVF. We also talked about doing a trigger shot this cycle. While I don't have problems ovulating this would help timing of the IUI.

So I will stop the progesterone and wait for my period to rear its ugly head and start the process again. Keeping my fingers crossed for all of us!!!

PrimRoseMama · July 2015

babycarrott said:
I just found out that my 5th IUI failed. For a short background, I have been pregnant three times before, twice on my own and once via IUI. All three ended in miscarriage during the first trimester. I have unexplained infertility as a diagnosis. After my third IUI resulted in a pregnancy and then a loss, I decided to try IUI again. The past two times have been with a higher dose of clomid and progesterone with no luck. I can do one more round of clomid and another IUI if I choose. IVF may be the next step. I am 33 years old.

I guess I am looking for advice/support. Any one here go on to have successful IVF after so many IUI's? I am just wondering if it is worth it to spend all that money just to end in miscarriage again. I know how horrible that sounds but I don't think I can handle another miscarriage. This process is HARD!! There are days I want to throw in the towel but giving up is even harder to do.

I'm sorry you've had a rough road. I don't have any experience with IF. I just wanted to offer you internet hugs.

PrimRoseMama · July 2015

babycarrott said:
Keeping my fingers crossed for baby dust for all of us!!!

@babycarrott : I'm not jumping on you or trying to admonish you. We avoid the term "baby dust" on this board.

For many (and other sites) it's used like Fairy Dust or magic dust. So I understand the usage. However, for many here who've had 2nd or 3rd trimester (or infant) Loss-- it can remind them of the cremains of their child in an urn. That is painful.

Again, I know you didn't mean to hurt & offend. I know you meant it as a cute reference of fingers crossed & good luck. I just wanted to make you aware.

FX for your next cycle & a Take-Home Rainbow Baby in your arms!

Kristin83 · July 2015

I am so, so sorry for your miscarriages. I had one a few months ago.

I don't have any experience with IUI/IVF but I just wanted to tell you we're here for you.

babycarrott · July 2015

@PrimRoseMama

I edited the post. I apologize if I upset anyone. On "what to expect" it is a term I see used a lot. Still trying to figure the different sites out.

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Loosing Hope- Advice/Support would be great

Re: Loosing Hope- Advice/Support would be great

TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow

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