Awkward thoughts about breastfeeding

KSabyan · July 2015

I'm not sure why but I just feel like breastfeeding would be awkward and odd. Yes I know that it's great for the baby. Anyone else in the same boat or has been??

on_the_move · July 2015

If you have never done it I can see why you might think that, but it can feel very natural. I breast fed both of my kids for a little over a year and hope to do the same with this one. You have to remember that this is what your breasts were built for.

Knottie16288692 · July 2015

I understand what you mean. It does seem awkward to me too. I plan on breast feeding the first week and then pumping/bottle feeding after that. A friend of mine had preemies and knew that breast milk would be better for them.While letting him feed on one breast, she pumped the other until she established a stash. From then on out she just pumped. It helped her husband bond with the baby and also enabled him to help with late night feedings. Might consider that if you still want your baby to receive breast milk without actually letting them feed on you.

JaqiDec04 · July 2015

I felt awkward about it at first. I'm an extremely shy person, and inviting a nurse into the room every 2 hours to help me shove my nipple in my babies mouth...it was awkward and uncomfortable. But the other option was a huge amount of money on bottles and formula and a huge hassle, and money wasn't something we had at the moment. So I stuck with it.

Pretty soon, I was sitting on the couch with my boobs out all day long and no care in the world. Lol.

brittanispears · July 2015

I feel awkward because mine are really sensitive to the touch. I'm wondering if there's a way to numb them before feeding.

komorebi · July 2015

Knottie16288692 said:
I understand what you mean. It does seem awkward to me too. I plan on breast feeding the first week and then pumping/bottle feeding after that. A friend of mine had preemies and knew that breast milk would be better for them.While letting him feed on one breast, she pumped the other until she established a stash. From then on out she just pumped. It helped her husband bond with the baby and also enabled him to help with late night feedings. Might consider that if you still want your baby to receive breast milk without actually letting them feed on you.

Planning to pump is not solid. Many women can't do it and it takes longer than a week to establish a supply and work out most common kinks. And I'm not trying to be condescending. I could never get milk to come out for a pump. The most i pumped in a whole day was two ounces. But i breastfed for 3.5 years.

komorebi · July 2015

brittanispears said:
I feel awkward because mine are really sensitive to the touch. I'm wondering if there's a way to numb them before feeding.

The texture of your nipple changes, so you may not be as sensitive. Don't try to toughen them up. You'll just make them more sensitive.

It is totally normal to not realize how normal it can be before you do. But i highly recommended doing some reading and taking a class and having a lactation consultant come see you. Also you can go to LLL meetings now and the women there are experienced and can answer your questions or give you resources.

Knottie16288692 · July 2015

Yeah my friend told me that its not easy and she had the same problem with pumping. You just have to drink loads of water and keep pumping even if you only get a little. Another friend of mine is a lactation consultant, and told me the same thing. Its doable but you have to stick with it just like you would if you breast feed. Its a plan lol I want the best for my baby but I'm not comfortable with skin to skin. I may not be able to breast feed at all. Most of the women on my moms side had trouble with supply.

mkross123 · July 2015

I am leaning towards pumping because of a multiple birth. It would provide the health benefits, while freeing up time since I can allow my husband and others to help. I've been doing a lot of research and from I've read it is doable, you just need to be prepared, anticipate the problems, and be 100% committed, just like sticking out breastfeeding. It's a baby, as long as you feed it you're an awesome mom :-)

mccalisterbre · July 2015

I have one nipple that won't stick out all the way and because of that my daughter couldn't latch (we tried everything out there and nothing helped) so I pumped and I will do the same with dj

babybumb1229 · July 2015

I've seen alot of mom's to be comment that they don't feel comfortable with breastfeeding because they see their breast as sexual because let's face it alot of men love boobs and that's why alot of women feel the way they do because having a baby there isn't the same as their husband or lover.
I do feel like it would be different I think is it going to hurt me or idk is it going to feel weird. But I feel with practice it will become more natural and a bond with my baby.

Telebell · July 2015

It's also ok if you feel like you don't want to breastfeed and then don't. Or try it for a while and then decide you don't want to. It's not for everyone and your baby will be fine whether you feed it breast milk or formula!

Sweet Sadie Mae · July 2015

I can understand what you are saying. If you think about it women's breasts are so sexualized in main steam that I think we forget their intended purpose. God (or whoever/whatever) didn't create women's breasts for sexual pleasures but for nursing a child. I think that's what was weird for me. I mean, for me, breasts have always been a part of sex. I had to distance myself from that thinking (retrain my brain if you will) into realizing that my breasts aren't there to turn my husband on. They are there to nourish my child. Now that I understand that for myself I don't think of breastfeeding as awkward. Maybe I'm weird...

Sballerina · July 2015

I plan to breastfeed and stick it out through any challenges, switching to formula only if I have to if necessary for baby's health (like if I don't have enough supply or something). @KSabyan, I do have a little bit of a lingering feeling of awkwardness about it, though, and like you, I don't really know why exactly. Some ladies here are pointing out that sometimes the awkwardness may be fueled by the seeming dichotomy between breasts as sexual parts of the body and as baby-feeders. I don't think that is the cause of any awkwardness I feel. From an early age I understood breasts as being a way to feed a baby just like a dog or cat mommy feeds their litter. It was a shock to me later that men are crazy about boobs! All I can think is that any awkwardness comes from my breasts being a sensitive part of me and that are of course naturally covered and not touched, but then they will become very important to my little!

@Sweet Sadie Mae : I sometimes feel a bit of the dichotomy between breasts being sexual and practical baby feeders, but really I try to accept both. It surprised me when I first read it, but there is a passage in the Bible (Proverbs maybe?) that actually is advice to husbands, saying something like "Enjoy the wife of your youth; may her breasts ever satisfy you". And Song of Solomon is full of the king praising the beauty of his bride's boobs lol. Seems like God did design breasts for both purposes - sexual enjoyment and baby sustainers! Now just to figure the ins and outs of that, haha...turn for baby, turn for hubby...lol.

Cupcakesandquilts · July 2015

mkross123 said:
I am leaning towards pumping because of a multiple birth. It would provide the health benefits, while freeing up time since I can allow my husband and others to help. I've been doing a lot of research and from I've read it is doable, you just need to be prepared, anticipate the problems, and be 100% committed, just like sticking out breastfeeding. It's a baby, as long as you feed it you're an awesome mom :-)

I just want to add a comment to this: pumping will NOT free up time. You figure in pumping time, then feeding, then washing bottles and pump parts. No way. Directly bf is waaaaay quicker.

To OP: it is awkward at first. Neither you or baby know what you're doing, you can't quite figure out how to hold a floppy newborn, and there are latch issues. Those things all get better with practice though. Expect it to be hard at first because it will be.

xlipservicex · July 2015

I just want to add regardless of how you feed skin to skin contact is super important for babies. It helps them learn how to regulate breathing, heart rate and body temperature as well as promoting bonding between mom or dad and baby.

Personally, I plan to breastfeed. It's best for baby, always the right temperature and tailor made to their needs. If I can't then that's the way it is but I want to try at least. The most important thing is to do what's right for you and research your choice so you know what challenges you may face.

LiveNLove44 · July 2015

mkross123 said:

I am leaning towards pumping because of a multiple birth. It would provide the health benefits, while freeing up time since I can allow my husband and others to help. I've been doing a lot of research and from I've read it is doable, you just need to be prepared, anticipate the problems, and be 100% committed, just like sticking out breastfeeding. It's a baby, as long as you feed it you're an awesome mom :-)

@mkross123, you make good points here. I just want to add that DD was far more efficient (time) than it would have been for me to pump. Like others have mentioned, pumping isn't as awesome as the real deal in most cases, so you might find that BFing when you can is going to "free up" more time than pumping! Either way, good on ya

BabyRolls · July 2015

I definitely feel awkward about breast feeding. My husband is encouraging me to do it and I'll try it but I'm such a private person. Like I seriously can't imagine my boob hanging out and a nurse helping me. I'd honestly rather try it by myself with my baby. Breast feeding in public and around others is so awkward to me. I'm just such a shy person and I feel like that's a private thing for me. I know the benefits are huge so I'm definitely willing to try....in private

jefinley1 · July 2015

I am anticipating it being a little awkward at first as well. But for me it has nothing to do with the sexual aspect of breasts. Pretty much all of our bodies serve the dual purpose of utilitarian while also pleasure giving, and not just in sexual ways.

I think of it more like the kind of awkward surrounding getting your first period. Your body was doing something it had never done before, it was for a purpose (sexual response to allow childbearing) that up til that point, you were only beginning to develop the other aspects of through puberty, and so it was foreign. For me, at 14, it was gross and I felt like my body was totally betraying me with the cramps and the mess and the inconvenience. After a couple of months, it was just a normal part of life and no longer a big deal at all. I imagine breastfeeding will be similar.

What made me do a bit of a head turn in this thread were the comment by @SweetSadieMae ( @Sballerina I love your response) about breasts not being sexual at all and that somehow being solely a cultural construct, or by others that implied that if they were admitted to be sexual inherently as well, that was defined pretty much exclusively through the pleasure that men derive from them. I would argue that on a pretty base level, breast are first and foremost a huge aspect of sexuality for women. Growing breasts is one of the first physical signs that you are developing from child to woman. And not just to breastfeed. Breasts are a key part of sexual arousal, changing shape and color just like your other intimate parts when experiencing a sexual response. You can also derive incredible sexual pleasure from them. So I actually take a little bit of offense at the idea that the only way my breasts are sexual is through my husband getting turned on by them. I would argue that the base, purely instinctual reason that men get turned on by breasts, is because of the sexual response that can be derived from them and their representation of fertility. Two very basic and biological parts of sexuality. Please ladies, love your breasts for yourselves too! They're kind of amazing!

mkross123 · July 2015

@livenlove44

I plan to begin breastfeeding and to utilize the extra days I get in the hospital to work on it with the lactation consultant. I just am aware of the challenges that come with breastfeeding two newborns at once, if tandem feeding doesn't work for me I would be feeding two kiddos back to back. My fear is becoming over exhausted and quitting all together. So I've identified my number 1 goal (breast milk in bellies) and I'm going from there and becoming prepared with information now.

I just think it's so personal and everyone is smart to be thinking through their own situatuons and potenting challenges now (like the OP is) before postpartum hormones and sleep deprivation kicks in.

Capri8 · July 2015

I definitely feel the same way! My mom didn't breastfeed so it seems harder when you don't have someone close to you who's been through it. I plan on doing it though. Have to at least try it because it really is great for the baby and so much cheaper too!

Sballerina · July 2015

Glad you liked the point I made, @jefinley1 .
I think you really articulated well the inherent sexual nature of breasts. Great point that they did not become sexual because anyone decided they are! I do remember beginning to feel more like a woman and less of a girl when mine grew in, haha. It was awkward but eventually I got used to it and liked being a woman. And now as a married woman I am starting to enjoy how the breasts contribute to the sexual dynamic between me and DH. Hehehe

BTW how common is it for husbands to want to try their wife's milk or find it a turn-on?

komorebi · July 2015

Not common for my SO. He tended to avoid my breasts initially. Which was fine by me. After a couple months we both get back to normal. I would not be okay with any lust for my breastmilk.

jenn2132 · July 2015

I'm a very shy person too and not very comfortable with nudity (my own). I will admit at first it was awkward having my breasts out with my big dark nipples exposed but I was so hell bent on successfully breastfeeding that after awhile I didn't care so much. Despite the awkwardness breastfeeding came very natural to me, I was so sad I couldn't do it longer.

I have noticed that while I'm pregnant or breastfeeding I don't like my husband touching my breasts at all!! This is strange because normally it's my favorite part of foreplay! It's as though my maternal drive kicks in and shuts off the part of my brain that sees my breasts as sexual. After baby is weaned well then I'm all up for fun again

MamaOwl15 · July 2015

It's probably because I saw my mom breastfeeding my sisters and saw other women nursing (often using a cover, but I was still aware of what they were doing), but breastfeeding has always seemed normal to me.

However, in 22 months of nursing my son, the sensation of him suckling on my nipples never ceased to feel uncomfortable. I learned to tolerate the sensation, but I never found nursing to be enjoyable in and of itself.

It took me a while before I could deal with my husband touching my boobs, and now that I'm pregnant again, they're super sensitive, so I want them left alone. But once I got used to breastfeeding, I was OK with him touching . . . Just not while the baby is latched on! I need a moment to switch between mommy mode and wife mode. The sexual and maternal aspects of me can coexist happily, but they cannot both be active at once!

Awkward thoughts about breastfeeding

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