December 2015 Moms

Does anyone else know if they are having a huge baby shower???

slabanczslabancz member
edited July 2015 in December 2015 Moms
originally when the shower was discussed we were planning on about 50-60 at a nice restaurant and since then my MIL got involved and mentioned how the church wanted to offer their location and wanted to buy us gifts (which I'm not complaining about but I wanted it more intimate especially since I don't even know most ppl from our church) Anyways now we are expecting a little over 100 ppl to show and I'm expecting to feel so overwhelmed when that day comes. I was wondering if anyone is in a similar boat. I tried to back out of the church but they already started making a quilt and would have their feelings hurt if we said no.

Re: Does anyone else know if they are having a huge baby shower???

  • Can the church shower be separate from the initial intimate shower that was being planned? It's not uncommon to have more than 1 shower, especially if it's different groups or circles.
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  • 50-60 sounds pretty overwhelming anyways what's a few more.
  • Yeah we have a big family and a lot more women then we do men so the 50-60 would literally just be family and a handful of friends. I would love to separate honestly but at the same time I know if we did that his side of the family would go to the church and I wouldn't want them feeling like they weren't good enough for the other shower. Ahh Inlaws make things stressful.
  • kdoak2015 said:
    50-60 sounds pretty overwhelming anyways what's a few more.
    I thought the same thing!  Intimate to me would be like 10-15 people. 
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  • I'm having 80-90 and that's just very close family and friends. We just have a big family. Would your MIL be open to having a small separate shower at their location? Do what makes you feel comfortable. Maybe have her limit the number of church members. 
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  • I'm having around 80-90 and had the same at my bridal shower. That number is just family and friends, so it wasn't overwhelming. Who is paying for the shower? Are the extra guests going to be difficult to accommodate for food and favors and such?
  • Yikes!!! Wow that's a whole lotta people! That's nice of everyone though! I'd be very grateful and just see how it all pans out.

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  • That sounds horrible and anxiety inducing to me - but I dislike a lot of attention and opening gifts in front of people :) We probably had 100 or so people at wedding showers, combined, but we had five different showers (work, family x 2, friends, FIL's church - I'm married to a PK). I felt like that way we were at least able to talk to and spend some time with the guests.

    This time we're 8 hours from our closest relatives and friends, so I don't know if we'll have a shower at all.
  • Whoa. I had two showers with DD and we had under 10 people at each of those. I'd be overwhelmed with 50 people, but 100? I agree about having two showers where you can have a smaller intimate one and then one for the church people. 

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  • lalg28lalg28 member
    I'd say I'll be having a church shower, a work shower, and in law shower and my family shower. I'd have one whole family one but they live a few hours apart. That'll be a lot of people total. Anyone that wants to throw a shower say yes! They're trying to help you and you can never have too many diapers!
  • Wow. I'm having just one with family, friends and work combined. Only very close people though - adds up to just 20! You're lucky to have so many people in your life who want to celebrate you but I know that I personally wouldn't go for a 100 person shower. Literally 100 people showering you with affection and gifts. Sounds wonderful in theory but realistically I would just feel very uncomfortable.
  • That sounds insane to me. I would hate it as the guest of honor and honestly, I would really hate it as a guest if I had to watch someone open 100 gifts.  I would definitely not do family and church friends together.  No reason you can't have 2 showers. 
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  • I personally don't think I could handle that many people at a shower! We had about 100 at our wedding and I can't imagine that many at a shower but to each their own! My MIL is throwing mine and it will probably be a bit extravagant as they're building a wedding venue right now and this would be one of the first opportunities when it's finished to show it to friends and family and she's an event planner so it will undoubtedly be beautiful but I'm praying it's still relatively small. I get very uncomfortable being the center of attention but I'm leaving it totally up to her though so I guess we'll see what happens!
  • Hubby has a big family, our shower looks like it'll be about 150! We're having a coed shower/beach party. Our wedding had like 350 people so I'm looking forward to it being less than that!! My shower with my family is a coed bbq and will have about 20 people. Looking forward to both showers but the smaller one will definitely be more enjoyable!
  • Wow, that sounds wonderful! :D You are definitely blessed! My spouse's family lives in Puerto Rico and my parents are deceased due to cancer. I don't even think I'll have a shower or anyone to throw one for me. I wouldn't decline, I would be grateful for the shower! I hope you enjoy it and have a wonderful time!
  • I didn't want a big shower, but was really left with no choice due to the size of our families. My mother and sister are concerned about the cost. Traditionally, is the shower coat split between the two families? I feel like both sides are inviting about equal numbers.
  • @rebeccamariemcg No, not if your MIL/ SIL/someone from that side are not co hosting with your mom and sister. Traditionally the hosts of the shower cover all associated costs in a manner agreed on amongst themselves during planning.
  • I didn't want a big shower, but was really left with no choice due to the size of our families. My mother and sister are concerned about the cost. Traditionally, is the shower coat split between the two families? I feel like both sides are inviting about equal numbers.

    The person hosting the shower is the person who pays for it. It's not a wedding. Your hostess should have a set budget and a rough number of how many guests they can accommodate. The hostess decides the guest list and it is their decision who gets invited. It's not polite for your MIL to invite people to a shower she is not hosting and putting that burden on your hostess.
  • spottedgingerspottedginger member
    edited July 2015
    @DylansCandyBar Thank you, that was what I was trying to say, but early mornings are hard when limiting caffeine.
  • laur0nlaur0n member
    As of now, I'm having two. One for my dads family then one for my moms family plus part of my husband's family. I've been told that my MIL will probably have one, too, but I haven't heard for sure yet.
  • I am having 2 showers. My mom's shower is at around 60-70 people. The one thrown by my MIL will be a lot smaller as my husband doesn't have a big family like I do.
  • I'll be having two showers as well. One with a little over 100 people. One with about 15. Personally it's awkward to be at smaller showers. The more the merrier lol.
  • My shower is probably going to have fifty or so people as well. I thought that was a big shower. It is going to be co-ed at my SO's grandparent's house. I would just try to let the hosts know that you may feel a little overwhelmed by having so many people and maybe have them arrange a little possy of your closest friends to be your support group and entourage during the big event so that you don't get bombarded by people and things going on.
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  • We did one, large shower for the wedding at my request and I sort of regretted it afterwards. I feel like the main reason people come is to celebrate with you and participate in the joy of this huge life changing event. With my shower, I felt so rushed and didn't get to give everyone as much personal time as I would have liked.
    This time, I am going to have 3 showers -one for my side, one for his side and one for friends. It'll work best for us since most of his family lives 2 hours away. And with the friends' shower, my BFF has wanted to host something and will let me help plan and organize, which I love, and that will hopefully take the pressure off me feeling like I'm not in control of anything.
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  • I'm having two showers. One in Florida, where I'm from and all my family and friends are, and one in NC which is where I live now and my DH's family is. There will probably be about 30-40 at each. The more the merrier in my opinion!
  • @Ohashfo are you driving to the Florida one?? I'm just imagining how your going to get all those gifts back home.
  • @sammykkkla I am! I drive a large SUV so I'm sure we'll be able to fit it all in there:) if not, my mom can bring whatever is left up with her the next time she comes.
  • I'm having 110 people. Not huge for me. DH and I just have a large family and all of the guests being invited are close to us. 
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