How are all your partners handling the pregnancy?

Stacyb2011 · July 2015

I am 16 weeks pregnant today. My husband seems overwhelmed by the whole pregnancy. He actually doesn't talk about it at all. He listens to me, but doesn't say anything on his owns. He isn't great with change in general, but he clearly is having a hard time. He is a loving uncle and a great husband. I know he will be a great dad. Anyone else dealing with a husband like this?

Sunny2015 · July 2015

My husband is exactly like this, I just attribute it to the fact that we experienced a loss earlier this year and then found out we were pregnant again soon after. I'm just giving him time to digest it all

ACarter0914 · July 2015

My husbands usually pretty good....sometimes I think he "forgets" but he always rubs my tummy, watches what I eat (which is annoying), and talks about it when I do.

Can you try talking to him about how you feel? It's harder for guys because they aren't going through all the crazy changes. Once he sees your little baby they usually snap into dad mode.

gamblel · July 2015

My husband isn't much of a talker to begin with so this has been challenging for me as well. I bought him a couple books when he started asking about all my symptoms and questioning my diet.

Probably most helpful, though, is that I share with him some of the stuff from the bump app (checklists, size, growth info) and some from the forums. We also downloaded a baby names app and go through a letter of the alphabet a night. I think it helps him feel more a part of the process.

yl1m32015 · July 2015

My DH is reading a book called "Dude you're going to be a dad." It's a cute and comedic way to make them feel involved. I think men feel distant from pregnancy sometimes because it's not their body, it's easy to not think about it. Him reading about it has really helped him feel included.

grkgdss00 · July 2015

My DH is also this way. I send him email updates every week on my bump day with photos and run-down of what's happening. He doesn't necessarily "want" these, but I think it helps him understand what's going on and relate. Now that i'm getting a little bigger I think it's sinking in for him, and he's proudly sharing the news with his world. We just bought a house and moving this weekend, so I think once this hurdle is behind us we can both start focusing more on pregnancy and baby

SierraGood · July 2015

My DH husband admitted to me the other day that the idea of carrying for our daughter on his own scares him. He said he feels like he's gonna mess up, so about once a month sometimes twice off the need arises we sit and talk about what we would like see happen in our household once our Angel gets here and we openly discuss our fears. Every now and then he'll talk my belly, and always falls asleep with his hand on my tummy. I think talking it out is helping it be more real for him.

Beckah31 · July 2015

SO is currently having some growing pains. We had a twin loss at 23 weeks and he has tried to be both supportive and disconnected from this pregnancy.
In his words- I just want the baby here and safe, this messing around with pregnancy sucks.
I get his point, but he's been super conflicted lately- and since he's not a talker, I think he has been avoiding me. I'm just giving him some time to work through it....
At 20 weeks he is officially sucking it up, or he's going to have a meeting between his digestive track and my size sevens! :-w

Edit- fat thumbs and autocorrect.

rmj28 · July 2015

Sunny2015 said:
My husband is exactly like this, I just attribute it to the fact that we experienced a loss earlier this year and then found out we were pregnant again soon after. I'm just giving him time to digest it all

This plus a Down syndrome diagnosis. My husband is just trying to get through it day by day.

groovylocks · July 2015

My husband doesn't deal well with change either but he's clearly the more excited of the two of us. I mean i'm excited but he's REALLY freaking excited. He's really happy. I'm not so happy because his sex drive has been replaced with DAD DRIVE. All he wants to do is go shopping for baby gear, talk to my stomach and read it books. He refuses to have sex any more until the baby is born because i made the mistake of telling him that the baby can now hear. I tried telling him it has no context from in there since that's been its only existence so far and that sex helps my body prepare for labor. Nope. He just wants to dad-bod out, eat ice cream and talk about onesies..

It's cute. But I need to get laid, you guys.. I feel like we've had a complete typical gender-role reversal.

khamilton2621 · July 2015

My husband is doing all kinds of research about how to raise a child. It's great! Always sending me articles to read at work as we work different schedules. He's very excited but I think he is also overwhelmed and won't admit.

This morning he was saying how we have 6 months before the baby gets here, we have plenty of time to get ready. I freaked out as I'm 18 weeks along tomorrow, I know 5 & 1/2 months is not much different than 6 months but time is flying by! Also he was there when we made our next two appointments and thinks that we get to find out the sex at our next appointment, but it is the one after. I'm glad I can keep track of pregnancy related things or we'd be lost. Maybe he just has baby brain!

adbrading · July 2015

My husband is being prettyyy damn amazing. Let me just brag a little bit. I can't remember the last time I did laundry. He's been picking up behind me. I didn't even know he knew that trick! Anytime I apologize for complaining or for being too tired to do something he just laughs and says that I have every reason to be whatever way I am being. He is a patient man but even more so now. I really can't believe how lucky I am. He is making this so easy on me. I'm really sorry if anyone wants to punch me in the face right now. I know I sound braggy and annoying.

Mizuiro007 · July 2015

There were so many times with my first pregnancy that I was furious with my husband. It was the only time we've had a real, honest to goodness fight.

He rushed home when I texted him a picture of the positive test and was so excited. Then for the remainder of the pregnancy he just completely shut down on me. It seemed to help him talking to women he worked with that were pregnant or coming back from maternity leave. He went to ALL of my OB appointments. He was there, just an emotional wall.

It didn't help the job he had at the time was stressful, he was worried about money and trying to get through school. In the middle of the pregnancy he suddenly started experiencing PTSD and that has been a huge thing for both of us to deal with.

This pregnancy he's been through it before. He lost his job a couple weeks after we found out about the pregnancy and has been searching for a new one, but getting away from that stress has been such a good thing for him. He has been working temp jobs to get by, for a while worked in a refrigerated storage and then cleaning at a stadium between events. He'd come home sun burned and exhausted, clean up and take our son and tell me to go sleep because I had a long day.

It makes me cry every time he stands there and tells me genuinely how he sees how much I do and how much he appreciates it and wants to do his best to support and take care of me like I do him.

The first time brings a lot of adjustment for a father. He feels he has to provide and it's a huge weight they're taking on. Some come through with flying colors and others struggle....a lot. They all get there eventually in their own way though.

laceyglowacki · July 2015

This is our third child so he's pretty seasoned when it comes to dealing with pregnancy, and my moods and he's always been really involved in my pregnancy. Going to appointments, talking about names, rubbing my belly and taking to the baby. My son is the same way also he's been very into both pregnancies since he found out 2 years ago he's going to be the big brother. I've heard horror stories and read some on here as well but it seems to take guys a lot longer to connect to a pregnancy than a woman because it's not physically happening to them. Maybe once you find out the sex it'll be more relatable to him, or once the nursery starts being done. Men are more hands on and visual than imaginative in my opinion.

kmac103 · July 2015

My husband is also reading the "Dude You're Going to be a Dad" book. He likes it lol He gas also been 100% on board since we found out I am pregnant. He's super helpful and understanding through everything. He comes to all of my appointments and is always making sure I am happy. Seriously, I feel so blessed to have him because I would be a mess without his support!

misamima · July 2015

He's been amazing, just as he was with our first. He's fairly involved, as far as asking how my appointments go, and helping around the house and DD in general. He only comes with me at the initial appointment and the anatomy scan, basically when we know there will be an ultrasound for sure. Otherwise, I prefer he doesn't come with me on the boring regular checkups.

fmraglio · July 2015

It's super awesome seeing the differences in our SO's and how they're all dealing with it. I don't know about some of you but to me men are such a mystery, even my own husbad!

DH was shocked when we found out, had no idea what to say or do about it for days. I gave him time to adjust by reading pregnancy books on my own and really just letting him be his pre-child self for the last time in his life. Eventually he came around and got excited. Then he was scared again. We have nieces and nephews from both sides but he has no experience with children. We're young and we were married young and it took awhile to get support from our families for both the marriage and the baby so I think it was hard for him to be excited knowing our families weren't completely on board.

Then we found out it was a girl and he is over the moon. He still has his days where he thinks there's no way pregnancy is as hard as I'm saying it is but he's now gone to a daddy camp and talked with my midwife and OB personally and is so much more supportive since.

I don't think he'll really feel like a dad until he holds our daughter but to me that's okay. I'm giving him time since he's not feeling these movements of baby or having to make room in his body for her, as long as he stays at least 50/50 with his excitement to fear ratio we will be fine when baby comes. I think it's harder for men, and even some of us women but we're all doing the best we can to process and be super excited for these wonderful babies.

I cry just thinking about holding my little girl, and I know he'll cry like a baby when he finally gets to.

haylierm · July 2015

I gotta say mine is pretty awesome. He's reading "what to expect when you're expecting" with me and talks to and rubs my belly all the time. He doesn't make me feel guilty for being a sleepy lazy neglectful housewife. Lol he's never been a huge fan of my cats or pets in general so him taking over the litter box duties really says something. Anytime I apologize for not getting to the housework for days on end he just reminds me that I'm growing a baby. The only complaint I have is there are a lot of issues with his family that I would like addressed/resolved before baby gets here. But that is a complaint for another thread!

haha

Want a personalized experience?

How are all your partners handling the pregnancy?

Re: How are all your partners handling the pregnancy?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards