ESTIMATED due date rant

clairelange · July 2015

Just catching up on my Bump activity and read a post/reply to one query which I thought was spot on...
It was something like this: I don't know why people assume baby should be early or assume it will happen before 40 weeks. So true!
It's like 37 has become the norm. Got me thinking - all this guessing and pressure is total put on us, by ourselves and a lot to do with people (most pregnant women!) assuming you'll have your baby before 40 weeks... Look at how man posts on here are from people 37-39 weeks (myself included) about how to get baby to come early etc.

The average for a FTM is 41+1. Why does no one seem to pick up on this?! Repeat...MOST BABIES COME AFTER EDD.

Inductions being thrown everywhere, pressure on people to give birth before the baby is ready or feeling that you're doing it wrong because baby isn't here or god forbid, is 1 week past an arbitrary estimated due date. It's actually made me cry to think baby isn't here yet.... I'm losing focus on the fact I am lucky to have a baby still growing inside of me, a miracle. Maybe if we all changed our thinking then we all wouldn't be so anxious....

I wish they told me it was a 42 week pregnancy. Would maybe put it all in perspective and then an early baby would be a guaranteed bonus!

(PLEASE NOTE - This is mostly aimed at myself as I'm driving myself insane second guessing every niggle!!)

ProfessionalPregger · July 2015

Wonderfully said. I couldn't agree more!

2babes3angels · July 2015

Yep. I needed to hear this today. =D>

leannef88 · July 2015

This is so true and I hate we are pressured to feel impatient from 37 weeks onwards it makes for a very long potential 4 weeks. I keep telling myself not to think to much about it before EDD but its impossible. Just glad for the support on here!

kmode13 · July 2015

Haha, thank you! I'm a FTM due today, July 15th and I have been getting "No baby YETTTT?!?" comments for three weeks now! Seriously, I kept feeling I must be late, but obviously not since I'm just getting to my EDD today. Not going to lie, I'm ready for this kid to be here...but it has been hard balancing other people's questions with my attempts to not get too excited or expect him to come early.

ashleytiff · July 2015

My boy was a week late and I'm glad now that he stayed put. Gave him more time grow. He was almost a 10 pounder and I think him being bigger makes him an easier baby? He's so strong, he can hold his neck up really well already. I got the go ahead to start tummy time once his belly button falls out. He isn't fussy except for when he has a dirty diaper and as for feeding, he wakes up, wiggles around and sucks his hand when he is hungry instead of crying.

I've had a pretty easy week so far. Nothing at all like people warned me about.

daniellehoying · July 2015

I agree. I've had so many people (from family & friends to strangers) that have been saying since 36 weeks "you look great, but you must be SO ready, right?!" & I politely reply "I'm ready when the baby is ready."
It made me feel unprepared or like I wasn't feeling something I should.

I figured I "wasn't ready" bc I'm working on finishing my masters (great timing, I know! Lol) which is easier to do while the babe is still on the inside, so I just wanted to make it to my due date, then after that it's fair game.

Ultimately I have no control anyways, so I figure why stress

smcomer · July 2015

Agree with this 100%. I've been hearing comments for the past month about the baby not coming yet and now that I'm 40w6d it has only gotten worse. My phone and facebook is exploding with messages asking the same thing. I have a scheduled induction tomorrow but I really don't want it unless nessassary so ima see if I can schedule it for 42 weeks if he isn't here by then....

bridgitd · July 2015

THIS!! You are so right. My EDD isn't until Sunday and I already feel like I'm 2 weeks late due to all the comments and pressure I've been getting! I'm so pleased to be under midwifery care so I am not getting any unnecessary interventions forced on me

mrsrep123 · July 2015

Preach @clairelange!

I've been telling myself and everyone else that this baby is due July 28th but I'll most likely go over. Yes, I am getting pretty uncomfortable, but I'm trucking on until this little boy thinks it's time. My OB doesn't push induction but stated she does not let anyone go past 42 weeks.

So here's to a 42 week pregnancy! Lol

clairelange · July 2015

High five ya'll!! Hahah

3 people have asked me if I have any news yet.... Like I'd not tell them!

Bring on 42 weeks... Hahaha

MCH77 · July 2015

With DS I delivered late via emergency c/s, so we will be having a RCS at 39w1d. She's coming early and people still aren't happy. They think she should have been here days/weeks ago. Seriously people it's in her best interest to cook as long as possible. Let her/me be!!!

lkush12 · July 2015

Thank you!! Sooooo needed to hear this bc everyday I get my hopes up about my little man coming but I know I should be happy he's still cooking (39 +3 days)

acciocoffee · July 2015

I'm only 38 weeks and I have had people acting like I'm overdue since about 36 weeks! I have told my husband that from now until baby is born, we are not doing any more family gatherings. I am much too irritable lately to be polite while everyone gives me advice on what I should be doing to get labor started. My fake laugh is not quite an convincing as it used to be.

nataliemarie02 · July 2015

Just about to post something like this. FTM: I'm due on 7/23 and was told by one midwife not to expect the baby until August. Then I go to an appt yesterday and I had a cervical check...nothing special 1-2cm 25% effaced and another midwife says the baby's super low and that I might be coming in sooner than I think and that she's sending my chart to L&D. Wth...idk what to think and I feel like I'm just waiting. My body is definitely prepping but who know when it'll be. And yes. I feel the pressure from ppl..."no baby yet?" Um clearly not...hopefully I don't look like this postpartum. Ugh.

njteach0414 · July 2015

Thanks for posting this!! I am 39+1 due on Tuesday. Constantly comparing myself to others who have recently delivered is driving me insane!! My friend gave birth at 38 weeks 5 days and I felt like I should be on the same time table. At today's appointment I was a fingertip dilated and my cervix has finally became soft and baby head is low. My doctor put me in check as she reminded me that the time is def near and that most people, esp FTM, deliver past due date. Yes, it does get super annoying when people keep reminding me that I haven't delivered yet. However, my husband is doing great reminding me of how wonderful it is to have this blessing and that the baby is continuing to thrive, grow brain cells and fat while inside me. Ladies - we will all have our little ones soon and all this waiting/wondering will go out the window once that baby is in our arms...

shanasheppard · July 2015

My mom had me at 37wks, which is pretty off for a FTM, but she has been reminding me since 36wks "any time now"...I know that! That's why the car seat is installed, stroller is put together, & I have our hospital bags packed just in case...but the constant reminders that she delivered early are making me feel like every little cramp/contraction/stab is labor. I over analyze everything & am spending my final weeks impatient instead of enjoying them.
I am being induced Tuesday & I have dance classes to teach right up until we check in to L&D on Monday...he can't come out early, I've got work to do! lol

wilcoxonk · July 2015

I love this post and the comments. Couldn't agree more!!

Bebemonkeh · July 2015

Omg needed this today! From 37 weeks on its gotten increasingly difficult to stay patient, mostly bc of people saying "any day now!" Etc. also bc I know a couple people who went a week or so early. I started to feel like something was wrong with me. Then I started feeling so impatient and crazy. My due date is tomorrow and thankfully I've learned to re-frame some of this for myself to keep myself sane! Meanwhile like so many of you im getting an onslaught of texts: "No baby yet? Where is baby? Baby today?" Etc. Rahrr. He'll come when he's ready!

Dledwards17 · July 2015

I was so sure I was going to go "early". All of my cousins did and I just assumed I would too. EDD is the 17th and she's showing now signs of coming out anytime soon. At first I was a little disappointed but after some education I'm greatful that she's had the extra time in there.

wheresilenceismusic · July 2015

@kmode13 -- i'm due today too!

ecloho · July 2015

@mrsrep123 right on sister! I am also due the 28th with a boy and being a FTM am likely to go past... $-) Just praying for peace, patience and a healthy strong boy everyday!

ecloho · July 2015

Lol @mrsrep123 I meant

ecloho · July 2015

Lol @mrsrep123 I meant [-O< Not

ecloho · July 2015

$-)

greatgrandbaby7 · July 2015

Well said - thank you!

clairelange · July 2015

Woke up to "is he here yet" requests from 4 people! GO AWAY!

Jennifer&Matthew · July 2015

I TOTALLY needed to read this today - FTM @ 40+3. Husband is watching me get antsy and sad from all of the (well-intentioned) texts, calls and posts, and is suggesting we should go ahead with an induction. But I think waiting out the week is a better idea, as much as I am mentally and physically done! Keep on keepin' on, mamas!

lizerbither · July 2015

This is the story of my life! 38wks today, and having some awesome early labor symptoms. Already almost 3cm dilated and 75% effaced. All of that sounds great until doc says she could still be in for a few weeks..... Non-stop "where's baby" questions are having me feel like I'm doing something wrong. This girl is only gonna come out when she's ready and if everyone else I know stopped with the questions that'd be great.

ecloho · July 2015

@clairelange I do love this post! So much of what I read on here is anxiety and impatience over centimeters and weeks and estimated due date… Let's embrace patience over anxiety! Anxiety is not good for us or our babies either!

SBbabyonboard · July 2015

Good for you for posting this! I have a SCS for Monday which is 39weeks. We were hoping baby would flip before this date and that we would try for vbac even if I had to wait until 42 weeks, but unfortunately this lil gal hasn't wanted to flip. But even though my family and coworkers know all this they are still saying o I still think she's coming early. Lol like really.... I think have my CS at 39weeks is plenty early and would have been fine even if they scheduled it later as well. Our due dates are just an estimate and feel like we start freaking out more so because of outsiders who put the pressure on as soon as you hit like 9months. This one coworker kept saying to me everyday, o I hope u go into labour while your here today. I finally got up the nerve to say, um no I really think that would be horrible, not only was I only 37 weeks at the time but who wants to go into labour while at work. Come on lady use your brain. Lol!

Nita13ugg · July 2015

Yes, I wish I could get my husband to understand this! I had my 39 week appointment today and when I told him that she's still not ready (only dilated to 1 cm, but cervix is "soft & squishy"), he got mad and said she needs to be born before next Wednesday so he can schedule vacation days or he's just not going to take any time off at all after our daughter is born. Ugh! I'm so irritated now!

ecloho · July 2015

Wow @Nita13ugg my Hubs is the total opposite! I tell my belly, "come on out baby we are Ready to meet you" and he says "no you stay in there as long as you need, daddy says it's cool"

Dagoo · July 2015

I wish my ob felt the same, trying to make me worried the placenta might 'putter out' if I go beyond EDD cause I'm 40! I made them wait till 41 wks w/ my last but that was 5 yrs ago. Any other older moms 'feeling the pressure'?

KAR8706 · July 2015

After yesterday's appointment, LO isn't ready yet so I'm cool with that. 38+4 here, and as nice as it would be to have him here, he'll come when he's ready so we're just waiting.

ecloho · July 2015

Me too @KAR8706 ... I am also 38+4 and just trying to embrace patience rather than being anxious at this point.

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ESTIMATED due date rant

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