Taking Charge of Your Fertlity: 20th Anniversary Edition

lalala2004 · July 2015

Book Club Time!

Now that the digital version is available, I've been soaking it up! I doubt I'm the only one reading it right now, so I thought it would be fun to share a bit.

A few possible discussion points:

What information in the book has been most informative/helpful to you so far?

Which of the anecdotes that she shares has made you giggle the most?

For fun: What's one crazy misconception you had in the past about your fertility/menstrual cycle?

For those who have read other editions: What are your thoughts on the updates and changes in this new version?

lalala2004 · July 2015

What information in the book has been most informative/helpful to you so far?

I already knew a good bit of what I read so far from the FF tutorials, but the FELOP acronym is really helpful. I've always found reproductive hormones interesting since I learned about them a lot in AP Biology in high school, but it's hard to remember what they do at what time.

Which of the anecdotes that she shares has made you giggle the most?

The one about the earthquake delaying her brother's friends' ovulation. The idea that an earthquake could have possibly delayed the ovulation of a lot of the women due to stress is kind of wacky!

For fun: What's one crazy misconception you had in the past about your fertility/menstrual cycle?

I knew the old adage about the mythical perfect 28 day cycle and day 14 ovulation, and I thought it meant that if your cycle was longer or shorter that you always ovulated in the exact middle of your cycle. So if I had a 35 day cycle, I thought I ovulated on day 17 or 18.

ljwisniew · July 2015

That earthquake story was an ah ha moment for me. I was wondering why my 2 cycles were so crazy different and the story reminded me that the firat month was the month we were renovating our bathroom so we had 2 weeks of contractors in my home (I work from home too so it was stressful) and not being able to use the bathrooms. I honestly don't think I O'd that month.

letyourheartbeyourguide · July 2015

Oh my gosh yes to the earthquake story. Totally made me rethink why some cycles seemed unusually long.

I read the 10th anniversary edition and haven't gotten this new one. I'm so curious to hear what's different/new!

lalala2004 · July 2015

I typed out what the intro said was specifically different in this thread: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12596377/so-sad-re-tcoyf-release-date#latest

I'll copy and paste and edit in a second.

ETA: -16 page color insert (I have the Kindle Edition, so no clue what that is)
- improved fertility charts
- revised and updated chapter on assisted reproductive technology
- more detailed sexuality chapter

New Chapters:
Three Prevalent Conditions All Women Should Be Aware Of

Natural Ways to Balance Your Hormones

Now That You Know: Preseving Your Future Fertility

Dealing With Miscarriages

Idiopathic Infertility: Some Possile Causes When They're Not Sure Why

Causes of Unusual Bleeding

lalala2004 · July 2015

I totally get now why you are all so obsessed with this book, here. It's wonderful! It should seriously be required reading in high school.

HookEmNelson · July 2015

I just grabbed up the 10th anniversary and read it this past weekend.

I was absolutely amazed about how our bodies and hormones work; it's just done and taken care of and we have the ability to tap in, gather info and figure out what's going on.

Science is amazing!

lifeonthehill · July 2015

Still haven't read it. I really want to now! I think the "for fun" question was worth chiming in on anyways.

For fun: What's one crazy misconception you had in the past about your fertility/menstrual cycle?
At 13 a good friend lost her virginity and it was okay because the were standing up. She couldn't get pregnant because gravity. I believed it for two years!

LizM61409 · July 2015

I started reading today also, and I'm honestly not a fan of her negative opinions of birth control "all those awful side effects!" I used nuvaring for years and LOVED it- made my periods 2 days, light, predictable, and most importantly NO CRAMPING, which is a huge improvement in my quality of life from the god-awful cramps I used to get. That's the whole reason I'm reading about charting, etc because I want to minimize the number of off-ring periods I have to endure before we get KU. So I don't like all the negativity about it.

She also acts like it's some anti-feminism thing that there isn't a male birth control pill, and alludes to the fact that noone's bothered to make it yet- the reality of the situation is that there has been plenty of research into making a male pill and nothing has worked yet. It's much harder to block millions and millions of sperm vs 1 egg.

I did enjoy the earthquake story, though I think it must have been before the days of cheap available home UPTs, otherwise she would have just taken one and not called up her friend about it.

lalala2004 · July 2015

I haven't had any adverse effects from HBC either, other than getting nausea (solved that by just taking them at night). However, I know a lot of people that do, and the long term effects are still a relatively unknown factor. I think her main railing against it all was the fact that FAM is almost never put forth as a method, despite the fact of it being fairly accurate if used properly, not that she was necessarily demonizing it or anything.

I get that it seems biologically unfair that the burden of contraception most often falls on women, and I didn't feel like she was saying it was some misogynistic conspiracy.

I thought it was funny that her and her brother have friends symptom spotting to them and asking all the dumb questions we get on these boards as well :-))

LavenderBrown1018 · July 2015

I just started reading today! According to my Kindle I'm only about 10% of the way in, but I have already texted my husband a million times while reading. I am loving the anecdotes- makes it so easy to read and understand. I am feeling so much more knowledgeable already!

My favorite quote so far is "Unlike most other methods, FAM affords men the opportunity to lovingly and actively share in the responsibility of contraception."

Every morning I've been taking my temperature and it creates a great dialogue between MH and I. Before BC was very one-sided. I feel empowered as a female learning all about my body and all these signs I had no idea naturally existed and I am loving that MH is invested and interested as well. Can't wait to keep reading!

ETA: I'm a lurker on TTGP but I post on BOTB. I hope it's ok that I join in on this post!

smeebot · July 2015

I'm just started the new edition (I'm at page 206) and so far I haven't learned anything I hadn't already read on-line/on message boards, but I have enjoyed the anecdotes and looking at all the charts.

DutchLucyLu · July 2015

Can I ask how much of TCOYF is actually aimed at people wanting to conceive?

I found a preview online and most of what I've read so far (only ten minutes in so not that much) focusses on people using FAM to avoid.

ETA: And at 12 minutes in I can already see @LizM61409's point.

I so want to like TCOYF (because yay, science!) but I'm so afraid I won't.

lalala2004 · July 2015

Everything I've read so far mostly deals with the science in general and then how to avoid pregnancy, but in the introduction she alludes to using it to get pregnant, so I'm assuming that's later in the book.

AL_TwinCities · July 2015

Maybe 70% TTC/ 30% BC? The book teaches you how to track your fertility symptoms to understand when you are ovulating. She talks about how to time BD for conception, and how to use the method for BC. All of the content is valuable to help you learn your body. When I am no longer TTC, I plan to still chart and use the method for BC.

letyourheartbeyourguide · July 2015

I liked it. After a while the anecdotes were a bit much for me and some of the moralizing (is that a word?) was a little annoying. But there's LOTS of science, very clearly explained. It's definitely info that's on these boards and online, but it's nice to have it all in one place - I feel like I learned a lot from it.

After she covers all the science of ovulation/fertility/charting etc., there's a chapter on how to use this to avoid pregnancy and then a chapter on how to use it to increase odds of conceiving.

izzyp25 · July 2015

I am about 40% through according to my kindle. I have found a lot of it fascinating. I enjoy looking at her example charts and stories. I thought it was interesting that she recommends seeing a doctor after 4-6 cycles of timing sex at the optimal time. I am curious what a doctor would say if you went to them that quickly as everything else I read seems to recommend waiting a year.

Also...I struggled with problems with hormonal birth control for the last two years and this information would have been SO helpful had my GYN informed me instead of having me try every possible hormonal method to find the one with that caused the least amount of problems. I will likely use this method for prevention once I manage to have a babe.

It astounds me how little girls/women are taught about their own bodies.

lalala2004 · July 2015

It almost makes me mad that this information isn't widely know and as readily available as it should be!

And can we all just take a moment to appreciate the fact that we live in a time where we don't have to do a paper chart? All that stuff about how to draw the cover line and I'm like "Pfft! Fertility Friend does that for me!"

coffeeB4tea · July 2015

er, see below post... i need more coffee...

coffeeB4tea · July 2015

coffeeB4tea said:

lalala2004 said:

It almost makes me mad that this information isn't widely know and as readily available as it should be! And can we all just take a moment to appreciate the fact that we live in a time where we don't have to do a paper chart? All that stuff about how to draw the cover line and I'm like "Pfft! Fertility Friend does that for me!"

This!! If I had to graph everything myself and find my own O date that might be too much work for me. Maybe i'm just lazy... but thanks FF!

edit for spacing issues

DutchLucyLu · July 2015

Í'm so sad.

I really want the science, but I don't want the subjective, preachy subtext.

Women run all kinds of scary risks using birth control "And for what? To protect themselves from a man, who produces millions of sperms per hour!"

And what on earth does 'the anguish surrounding the use of breast implants' have to do with anything?

"Charting is a privilige rather than a burden." Urgh.

I'm sorry, I love charting, I want to learn more about it and I think more people should know about it, but I just cannot with those kind of comments. *hides* X_X

Preview can be found here, btw. It contains quite a lot of fragments from different chapters. It's the 10th anniversary edition, though, not the most recent version (but I don't expect the existing text will be altered much/the overall tone will be very different). Just for the record: I'm 100% convinced the science is legit, so don't let my opinion stop you if you're thinking about buying it!

0Face · July 2015

I am interested in the new/added chapters.

I honestly paper charted until I "found" TB and FF which was only at the beginning of my most recent cycle. I think FF helped erase some doubts but the I had the idea anyway.

lalala2004 · July 2015

@DutchLucyLu I don't necessarily agree with all of her opinions either, BUT, I do like that she is putting her personality into the book, making it less like a sanitized textbook. It makes it better than some dry clinical reading. But maybe that's just my style.

mikaela20 · July 2015

Still have to look into reading this but for those that are getting through it, does the book touch on the accuracy of bbt temping to confirm O dates? Sadly, i have read its not 100% accurate but i wanted to find some reliable sources on the accuracy level. I read some stats on bbt being as low as 30% accurate in predicting O, so i would be curious to see if the author mentions this at all.

lalala2004 · July 2015

It is not accurate in PREDICTING O, but it is extremely accurate in COMFIRMING. FAM is not about predicting O, but anticipating it's coming and confirming it's occurrence, that's why checking CM is emphasized. That's why many use OPKs as well.

futuremrshp · July 2015

I just happen to open up the boards earlier today and someone recommended the book. Just downloaded and definitely enjoying it!

Ash9614 · July 2015

I'm enjoying the book, but find it a bit redundant. I feel like everything is explained 3x instead of just saying it straight out once. I'm about 40% through it and feel like I've covered off on most of the TTGP content. I'll keep skimming through for anything that will help me get KU, but will probably skip the elements that don't apply to me at this point in life.

It does make me hesitant to take another hormonal form of BC. I feel like if I can master the temping and CM observation while TTGP, I can avoid pumping my body full of hormones moving forward.

I do think it's a great resource to empower women to have control over their own fertility.

mrsmtothek · July 2015

HALP I finally purchased and I can't stop reading. There goes all of my productivity for the day lol.

blackgirlmagic · July 2015

What information in the book has been most informative/helpful to you so far?

So I'm not too far into the book yet but I just read that after 18 dpo will should get a BFP if you are pregnant after getting an O. That will be very helpfully to me especially since I just got off BC I don't know how long it will be till AF comes if she does.

lalala2004 · July 2015

raesmith9 said:

What information in the book has been most informative/helpful to you so far? So I'm not too far into the book yet but I just read that after 18 dpo will should get a BFP if you are pregnant after getting an O. That will be very helpfully to me especially since I just got off BC I don't know how long it will be till AF comes if she does.

Knowing about the Luteal Phase is huge. I more or less knew when to expect my period and it wasn't a surprise. It's nice to have that feeling being off BC.

PugsandKisses · July 2015

I hated how she is against all hormonal birth control.
I have PCOS, and several family members with different 'female' cancers, like ovarian, uterine and cervical. My risk is very high. Hormonal birth control decreases that risk by 60%.
We have already talk (my Ob and i) about having a hysterectomy when I am done having babies. I am in my early 30s.

My OB wants me to be pregnant or on BCP while I have a uterus.

Want a personalized experience?

Taking Charge of Your Fertlity: 20th Anniversary Edition

Re: Taking Charge of Your Fertlity: 20th Anniversary Edition

TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow

TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow

Choose Another Board

Search Boards