Question about first appointment?!

MrsJP20082015 · July 2015

I'm a FTM & no one knows about our pregnancy yet so I can't ask friends. Anyways...waiting for the OBGYN to call back to schedule an appointment. My question is did your significant other go with you to your first appointment? Some say they are just doing blood & such but 1. I hate blood lol which I guess I better get over & 2. I think DH would be heart broken if I saw the baby & he didn't. Just wondering what all of you ladies were planning on doing or have done?

PBear93 · July 2015

Every office is different. I would ask when they call you back what all happens at the first appointment.

KMKaiser07 · July 2015

My DH went to every appointment with our first and said he won't do it again haha. He will just be at appointments with an ultrasound. You usually schedule your ultrasound so should know if you are having one or not otherwise the decision is entirely personal preference. I personally don't feel the need to have my DH at my appointments but didn't know that my first time around.

skruhmin · July 2015

Totally ask your husband what he wants to do - if he wants to go or not. If you want him there, then take him - no harm in that. Plus having your doctor meet the other half of the reason you're pregnant isn't necessarily a bad thing. My husband went to all appointments my first time but didn't the second time - they get super routine - most of the time, it's just going over symptoms, weight check, listen to heartbeat, and any lab orders - once you get to a certain point, you add pee test every time to the list. The really big one I'd have DH at is the anatomy scan halfway through.

MrsJP20082015 · July 2015

Ah okay thank you!!! I will for sure being asking him. I'm sure he will he's already pretty protective over this poppy seed lol! I will also ask them when they call back. I'm sure they are use to dealing with first timers lol

Jellybeanqueen13 · July 2015

I agree that asking them would be best. My first appointment last time was literally pee in a cup, "Yep, you're pregnant", go over a few things like timeline of future appointments, and out the door. It would have been a waste for my husband to have come.

lawright · July 2015

In my first pg, I called the OB crying about a week prior to my appointment because I couldn't handle the nausea. They prescribed meds over the phone and did a transvaginal u/s the first visit. I guess that when you're nauseated 24/7 at 5 weeks, they feel some crazy need to rule out twins.

SparkE82 · July 2015

I am in the same boat you are...FTM and no one else knows. My first appointment is an ultrasound. So my hubby will be going. I dont think he will go to routine appointments, just important ones and ones with ultrasounds.

mommygrams0730 · July 2015

My OB does an u/s the first visit around 8 weeks.

DH rarely goes to appts, I think with our 3 kids he went to the u/s appts and that was it.

Usually you can ask if you'll be getting an u/s when you schedule your appt.

Rox2012 · July 2015

my first appt is scheduled at about 10 weeks and it includes an ultrasound. Same with my first. Hubby went to all appointments

mlwerts · July 2015

My OB does first visits between 8 & 10 weeks and does an ultrasound.

jy725 · July 2015

DH came to the appts. that we had ultrasounds for only. Check with your office to see what their policies are.

jess9802 · July 2015

DH came to my first appointment to meet my OB, and anytime I had an ultrasound scheduled. I have the same doctor, so this time I'm sure he'll just come for the anatomy scan.

noodles15 · July 2015

Ultrasounds only. Which I usually have the nt scan and 20 week us. I see no point in him coming to every appointment. They usually consist of a peeing in a cup, weight, blood pressure and are over in 5 minutes.

Kristin712 · July 2015

I had my first appt today and DH came with me. I had been told over the phone that this appt was a physician consult (and it was). The OB sat down with us, spoke about dietary restrictions, birth defects and diseases that run on both sides of family, explained genetic testing (to start thinking about even though we have some time), and explained the pregnancy process with their practice. We were given a bunch of paperwork to look through, were given the rundown on frequency of appointments, and were given more info on the practice and hospital where they deliver. At the very beginning of the appointment I took a urine test to confirm pregnancy and had my height, weight, and blood pressure taken. At the end, I had to stop in the lab to get a lot of blood drawn. Ultimately, DH said he was glad he went. We are both first time parents, though, so I think it was exciting and helped us feel like this is "more real." We are sticking with our original plan that DH will only return in the future for ultrasounds.

treehousebaby · July 2015

if you want your husband and they want to be an equal partner on the parenting front, they will want to and you should want them to be as present as possible now. just my two cents. you don't need to have a dad who is engaged - lots of moms do all the work on their own- like our moms and grandmothers probably did- but let me tell you that having a dad who is super involved, present and will jump out of bed to change a diaper and let you roll over is a blessing thank you God!

mns81 · July 2015

I just had a blood work appointment last week and went alone. DH is coming with me to the next two. One for the first ultrasound and the next for family history (but then he's leaving while I stay for more blood work and such.)

I made sure to ask the office and to plan so that he could be there for the first real appointment!

JLaVO888 · July 2015

Adding to this question:

For insurance reasons did you have to get a referral from your regular doc for an OB? I know some specialists require a referral but I am not sure if this includes OB's. Without a referral, how did you find an OB? Google search?

To answer your DH question:

I'm think my DH may possibly be more excited for the first appointment than I am. You just need to ask him what he feels like doing. However, if you are really wanting him to be there make sure to let him know that. Unfortunately, no matter how hard we try, we can't train our men to read our minds.

noodles15 · July 2015

treehousebaby said:
if you want your husband and they want to be an equal partner on the parenting front, they will want to and you should want them to be as present as possible now. just my two cents. you don't need to have a dad who is engaged - lots of moms do all the work on their own- like our moms and grandmothers probably did- but let me tell you that having a dad who is super involved, present and will jump out of bed to change a diaper and let you roll over is a blessing thank you God!

Really? Logistically it doesn't make sense for two people to go to every appointment. To schedule time away from work when really as your pregnancy continues the appointments are very quick. It takes more time to get them. If someone wants their husband to go to every appointment that is fine. If they don't it certainly doesn't mean they are not equal partners or the Dad is not an engaged parent.

MrsJP20082015 · July 2015

I just recently got on Obama care & haven't had health insurance before this. So I have no regular doctor. I actually hate the doctor I'm such a baby lol. But I looked it up on our website of who was available & accepting new patients so that's how I got to them. I have yet to make an appointment with them so we will see what they say if they call today. @JLaVO888

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