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June 2015 Moms
Serenamarr
member
Angry Mama Bears
Serenamarr
member
Since the angry pregnant ladies thread did so well, I thought I'd start one for postpartum. I find myself getting quite heated on LOs behalf!
Re: Angry Mama Bears
Glad I got this off my chest, I hope I can get over it now.
Aww so sorry!! This happened to my husband when he was born too.
Or maybe writing it out to them will just make you more livid. Idk. Just a thought. I'm furious on your behalf. So ridiculous. I would lose it. I'm all mad on your behalf now. I think i'll write the letter for you. Lol
honestly i dont know if im angry or upset over this but it seems the place to post it. please keep in mind the things will be a little scattered as my memory is not great (only had 4 hours of sleep before the induction, and its just overwhelming)
i feel that i had a very traumatic birth experience. but luckily i cant physically remember the pain during the worst of it.
after going through contractions that were maybe 20 seconds apart at most from 8 in the morning my doctor returned around "sometime after 7"(he was ALMOST AN HOUR late because he was stuck behind slow traffic [which im not mad about that the traffic between towns gets crazy in the summer, and my progress was slow between the 1st and 2nd checks] and they were big campers apparently) and when he arrived he checked my cervix and (from almost 5am checked about 3 hours prior) i had dialated to 9cm. my heart sank as i had asked the nurse who kept checking me what the epidural window is like (she said theres not really a minimum dialation, but once 9cm its too late) i was very upset, i was looking to getting one because the pain was becoming a little too uncomfortable and i knew it would get worse. the doctor then announced that he is going to break my water and i thought it was too late for an epidural (so i kept quiet and honestly it wasnt on my mind at that time) basically the pain got way worse after that(to the point of eye watering and writhing) and it kept getting worse and worse like actual crying and hyperventilating. was told its time to start pushing and after a half an hour of nothing i mentally couldnt do it with the pain. it got to the point where DH asked if theres anything they could give me (he knows i take pain well but this was way too much) and they called in the epidural person after a very serious "are you sure?" from my doctor (which took 20 minutes to arrive after i was told 10) while waiting i would practically scream with every contraction. i told them i cant do it over and over again when one lady was trying to get me to push while waiting (not a fan of hers for that) so when the epidural finally happened i calmed right down and felt so much better. i could breathe and all that. after trying to push post epidural the doctor said his head will not fit without major tearing (he said it would be in like 5 different directions) so it was in my best interest to get cut and have it be controlled, which i agreed to. then after some pushes (maybe 8 sets of 3/4?) he came out blah blah blah like 20 stitches and so on and so forth.
basically what really upsets/bothers me is that no one informed me before they broke my water that it wasnt too late for an epidural. the nurse saw my state get worse and worse. i had asked her about the time frame for it to be done, in a way i feel like they let me get to my worst point without saying anything previously to prevent me screaming and crying. i almost screamed just to cut me open (his head is 18cm)
like i could have had my water broken before the epidural even fully kicked in.
instead i had it done out of necessity between very strong contractions where i was told not to move. if not for the gas, i would probably be paralyzed just out of jolting unknowingly from the pain. im bitter and angry about it. and thinking about it makes me want to cry again.
@JessHeppell I'm sorry for you too- it is not a good feeling to not be kept in the loop/informed about your own body. I waited until I was at that pain level to get an epidural by choice, I wanted to try to go without, but after stalling at 8 cm and having that pain quadruple when they broke my water (I shouldn't have let her do that!) I knew I had reached my limit. I can't imagine involuntarily going through it!
@JessHeppell sorry to hear about the confusion with the epidural. I went all natural but that was my choice so it is awful that you asked for it and didnt give it to you.
I will piggyback on your alls anger with the medical professionals at your birth. I met this week with a pediatric cardiologist for dd to have another echo since I was supposed to check on the hole in her heart and see if it fixed itself. Well the dr told me that there were actually 3 things that were wrong with it at birth based on the 1st echo. And not only was there one whole in fact there were two and something wrong with the vessels.The only thing that fixed itself was the vessel.
But definitely more upset that I was told at 6 weeks about something that was seen at birth but not deemed important enough to tell me or dh.
I also "stalled" at 8 cm and then got the epidural before they broke my water. On the one hand, I'm mad that they left me alone for 2 hours after the epidural, so it had worn off completely by the time they broke my water. (DH eventually went screaming into the hallway and suddenly we had several medical staff on hand.)
On the other hand, I feel like I had the med-free birth that I (thought I) wanted, because by the time I was pushing, I had zero pain meds.
Upon some reading after the birth, I saw it's quite common to hit 8 cm and then for the body to take a while to progress. So I'm wondering if we really "stalled" @Serenamarr or whether that's just how it goes. I'm a little hung up on it, too, and DH is so traumatized from the birth (like you, @JessHeppell , I was screaming and in tons of pain, and barely conscious) he is saying no more kids. (Yeah, no. LO is not going to be an only child like DH. No.)
Anyway, I'm really sorry you both have birth experiences that cloud your arrival of LO. Big hugs, ladies
when i was in the hospital after LOs birth i get a text saying they are maybe going to come visit me. they were already at the hospital for a NST for their baby, well that time didnt work out but they would be back at noon for an US, so i was waiting from noon till 2pm with LO sleeping the whole time. get a text at 2:30 saying they arent coming because apparently the US ran late. (minorly pissed i stayed up waiting instead of sleeping but its my fault so whatever)
so my mom and sister came over today and my mom (who works at the restaurant with her) found out and told me that she didnt want to visit me in the hospital, because shes super angry/jealous over how "easy" my pregnancy has been.. claiming she has been perfect and eating healthy and this shouldnt be happening to her.
she seems to ignore the fact that she is quite overweight, over 40 years old, smokes like a pack a day, eats foods that are quite salty like beef dip sandwiches, nachos and poutine, (she only ever eats food from the restaurant because theyre never at home) unless she has a table of customers she is sitting on her ass on facebook (in the front no less which looks incredibly unprofessional, but the owner/"chef" does it too so we wont go there) so she has high blood pressure, GD, preeclampsia, swollen this uncomfortable that type thing.
you cant compare yourself to a 20 year old who was on her feet for most of the day unless not at work(even then i would get groceries on my days off), is a totally different size than you, doesnt have any already existing issues, doesnt smoke and ate quite healthy when i was able to eat. did i mention i got morning sickness for fucking 5 months straight? that i lost 10 lbs because i couldnt eat? that i had no energy? no breaks to sit on my ass at work?
all that food made her salty as f*ck.
my mom hopes she tears right to her butthole(she has a lot of issues with her as well, that are work related) and honestly doesnt want to be friends with her anymore, and they used to be best friends.
ETA: obviously it sucks that she has all these issues.. but i dont feel bad for her anymore.
:-?
I'm still getting the hang of taking the dog for walks with baby in the carrier on my chest--what with the bending to pick up poop, and when he crosses over making sure not to trip, not letting him pull etc. He's not too bad with it, and he is small, but he is extremely unpredictable when it comes to other dogs. Some we can pass by and he won't even acknowledge them, and others he sniffs from a block away and will yank and pull and snarl and snap like a rabid beast (he weighs 13 lbs.). In the past, I would just pick him up and move along. But with the baby on my chest I have to just beware and stay as far away from other people/dogs as possible. So I'm walking along the sidewalk and I hear from behind me, "She's really friendly she just wants to say hello!" and I turn around to see a huge retriever coming towards me NOT ON A LEASH with the owner half a block behind it. Thankfully my pup was sniffing something and didn't notice...the lady then tried to make small talk with me after I told her my dog was NOT friendly and it was my first time out with dog/baby combo and I wasn't comfortable yet. She also asked if she could see my baby. NO! Go away and take your unleashed sneaky animal with you! Like that situation could have been so so so much worse... how do you let your dog run free and sneak up on someone with a dog whose temperament you do not know? Ugh.
What happened? Um. THEY HAD A FREAKING BABY.
ETA: I almost ignored it. I couldn't. I commented.
That's verbatim. All grammar mistakes are his.
ETA: I agree it's no excuse but it's still not his place.
We went for a walk in the park last night and a family had 5-6 dogs running loose around the kids play area. Didn't look like any kids were there at the time, but all i could think was if that ever happens when my LO is there, this mama bear is going to get seriously angry.
My nipples were torn to shreds and blistered and scabbed to hell - horrifically painful - but when the LC latched her it didn't hurt.