January 2016 Moms
thepanicos
member
Options
Husband: Am I being over sensitive?
thepanicos
member
So I'm 14 weeks pregnant. I had weight loss surgery so I eat small meals often throughout the day and snacks as well. We ate an early dinner, about 430pm; our nephews choice, Friendly's. I had about 2 chicken strips and maybe 5 fries. So, at 7 I was hungry again, my husband was out already and I asked if he could swing by the local diner that I love and get me Cream Of Turkey soup (they only have on Sunday's) and I've been craving all week. He made a big thing about it saying that I can just make something at home, I'm wasting money and I need to stop eating so much. Well, it's $4.... Your wife's happiness... And I lost 15 pounds this trimester already. I see a nutritionist and he was with me when she said I needed to be eating more. I could of went myself, but I figured he was already out and it was on his way. Needless to say, after a huge fight, and at 9:30pm, I still haven't had any thing to eat. My stomach is flipping. I snacked on 5
Cherries, and a cheese stick.
It's not like we're poor, or even in poverty. He owns his own business, he's successful. He already put away $6,000 since we found out we were pregnant, so I'm like what's the big deal over a $4 soup? Am I being unreasonable? This could be the hormones but I was seriously ready to strangle him.
Cherries, and a cheese stick.
It's not like we're poor, or even in poverty. He owns his own business, he's successful. He already put away $6,000 since we found out we were pregnant, so I'm like what's the big deal over a $4 soup? Am I being unreasonable? This could be the hormones but I was seriously ready to strangle him.
Answers
At the same time, if you want something and he's drawing a stupid line in the sand, you can go get it yourself. All you're doing at this point is getting worked up even worse because you're starving.
I also have to eat every two hours so I am sympathetic I'm just trying to be realistic with you too.
At the same time, I also see your point. I also had weight loss surgery and 100% know the struggle of trying to get enough calories, carbs, protein, etc in now that I am pregnant.
My husband has always been very understanding of the whole eating deal bc of surgery and will usually go out of his way to do whatever it is he needs to for me. I can be a bit demanding, so I cut him some slack. If this was a one time thing and he normally is super conscious of what you need, you're probably being sensitive. I had a meltdown last week when he told me I should 100% not be drinking ginger ale. He was correct but in my mind it was the only thing I could tolerate at that very moment. Completely and 100% hormones on my end from that one.
Also, I wouldn't even speak to him if he commented on the amount of food I intake. None of his business!
I would try to find out what the real issue was. Who care how much you eat, or about $4, so I think there must be an underlying issue.
His point about money is valid. Just because he owns his own business, doesn't mean you (collectively) should be frivolous with money. You had already dined out once that day, and yes your soup may have only been $4, but all those little incidentals really add up. Have you talked about your baby budget? If you plan on going back to work, I know daycare here runs about 13k/year for babies and toddlers. Not to mention all the extra food and diapers and wipes and, and, and... Money is a finite resource. I think you two should sit down and really talk about the money. We aren't in poverty, but we adjust as needed to live comfortably within our means and still be able to save.
Also, If you're craving something all week, let him know on Monday so he won't be defensive on Sunday when it comes time to enjoy your treat. Proactive communication works wonders!
I'm 14 weeks as well and get hunger pangs often .. This is hardly the time to tell a pregnant wife to eat less..
Is he worried that the eating will reverse the effect of the surgery ? If so you need to explain that once a baby is in the picture your priorities have to change !!!
I have a 4 month maternity leave from work, and may or may not return back depending on what I want to do. I basically work just for our benefits. So it doesn't really matter if I work or not. We can get benefits through a private insurance. And my mom was a SAHM and we all turned out awesome so I mean, even if I go back to work when the baby is in school, it's not a big deal.
I also have a hard time eating greasy fries foods. I get cramps, diarrhea and nausea. Usually I get the Asian salad from Friendly's, yet they no longer offer it (how rude!) so I picked on some tenders.
His mom is dying. So I understand why he's been overly rude lately. We did move his mom into our house and she's in hospice here. She's in the hospital at the moment so he's been frustrated with the whole situation.
We have a joint bank account... I take $ he takes $. It's our money he says even though he works 2 jobs and I DONT work. We both agreed that I would be a stay at home mom. After DS was born he realized how much work it is to be a stay at home mom. He is not very organized. He has a hard time paying bills on time, grocery shopping,scheduling doctor appointments, cleaning, hates laundry, gets impatient with DS a little too much.... He is grateful and happy to be the "provider" and had expressed how happy he is to have me at home. So we work out fine. Don't get me wrong. I don't go spending $$$ on just anything. Only the stuff we absolutely NEED!
I think you answered your own question though.... He may be stressed because of his mother. Especially if he is really close to her. Knowing a relative is dying is really hard emotionally.
We made a deal that solo meals out and treats are always our own expense, so I can't get mad when he spends $10 on junk food at 7/11, and he can't get mad when I go out to a restaurant for lunch with cco-workers. What I'm saying is that you might benefit from clearer "rules" or budgets for money, even if you share.
Just going to throw my experience in here. It does sound like he was worried about more than your $4 soup. Sometimes if I'm eating out a lot, DH will get a little upset and ask why I even bother to buy groceries. We put tons of money into savings every month and he still freaks out over money, it's just a guy thing. They need to provide for us.
Last night I wanted spicy nuggets from Wendy's and he got all annoyed because I didn't want anything we have at home so I didn't go. About 30 mins later I was throwing up and he went to get me nuggets. They always come around.