Just For Laughs - Intrusive Questions

jaimejean22 · July 2015

I saw this article of a mom who posed her twins with a "cheat sheet" of answers for all the invasive questions that she was asked. It was funny and it made me think of all the intrusive questions I have been asked, especially dealing with infertility for over 3 years. My favorite question was after I got pregnant and someone asked me how I had conceived. Most awkward question ever... So what have been some of the craziest intrusive questions you have been asked? https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/mom-under-fire-for-controversial-photo-of-twin-123996597457.html?fb_ref=Default

Elizabella85 · July 2015

I struggled with infertility, and was fairly open about it since PCOS is common. So when we finally got pregnant after seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist, the question I got was "how expensive was your baby?" and "if you're going to spend all that money on a baby, why not adopt?" Well...I was one of the lucky few who got pregnant on Metformin alone, and insurance covers the doctor visits (although not treatment - smh), so I don't think I can adopt any child for less than my $10 Metformin prescription. I'm not offended, just a little appalled at the boldness. And it's never young women who might be struggling that ask...it's always women that are mom's age! Crazy!!!

jaimejean22 · July 2015

Yeah, I was relatively open with everything as well (I also have PCOS). Which I think is awesome because more people need to talk about Infertility... But it does seem like people think that it gives them the "go ahead" to ask stupid questions about things that are none of their business. I can't believe people asked how expensive your baby was! I was worried I would have had more people asking me questions about how we got pregnant, but it hasn't been nearly as bad I was thinking. Thankfully!

palmera91 · July 2015

I also have PCOS and conceived after being on metformin after about 6 months!

Catherine1021 · July 2015

I've also been pretty open about our struggles with infertility, and have also been asked multiple times how we conceived. Just saying, "We went to a fertility doctor," has not been enough for anyone. I think people are just curious about these things because they don't know anything about it. But it is uncomfortable- I don't want to give anyone a step-by-step guide to how I conceived my child, so I've said several things to end the conversation. "Well first tell me how you conceived your children," seems to work the best. I've also just said I don't really feel comfortable talking about the details of how I got pregnant. The most intrusive questions I've ever gotten though, have been about my kids that I've adopted. I have 4 kids- ages 9, 10, 11. & 12. When people find out about the adoption, so many ask, "Why were they in foster care?" "Was their mom on drugs?" "Were they sexually abused?" "Do they all have the same dad?" "How much did you pay for them?" I've learned to respond with, "It's not my story to tell." The question that annoys me the most though is, "What happened to their real mom?" I know people don't mean to make me feel bad, but it kind of insinuates that they don't see me as a real mother.

ketobaby · July 2015

So last week I publicly announced on facebook. I had an acquaintance text me and ask me "Was it planned" and "If I had stopped my birth control" Yeah that was a week ago, still no reply from me.

Peanut1128 · July 2015

Lots of people asked me if I was trying or if it was planned which I found shocking. I'm 29, married and have a good job so it shouldn't be that shocking that I'm taking the next step. People constantly ask my husband if he is sure that he is ready and how he feels. And since I'm already complaining I'll add, I hate when men tell me about their wives labors and how it wasn't so bad... Yea maybe it wasn't tough for you watching her give birth but I'm sure it wasn't as great as you are describing.

spottedginger · July 2015

Yes- the "was it planned?" And "are you excited?" caught me completely off guard. Yes and yes. I am 31 and married... Also the people who feel the need to ask are not people with whom I would ever share my innermost thoughts and feelings with wven if the answer to either question was no. E.g. the assistant at my dermatologist's office. Umm. Awkward.

mrs14678 · July 2015

We wanted to conceive in April, so I'd be due AFTER my hubby graduated in December. A bunch of close friends struggled with infertility, so we thought it might take a while so we'd better start early! Oops. Got pregnant right away and I'm due the same week as graduation! So, planned, ish.

hcdmdf · July 2015

I got the "was it planned" stuff with my first. She is a girl so now I get "are you hoping for a boy". Actually I was hoping it was a puppy, but I ended up with a baby.

BostonBaby1 · July 2015

Thank you for the link. I caught the tail end of the story on the local news tonight but couldn't figure it out.

tetchy · July 2015

I have had two preemies and multiple miscarriges. I get "Are you worried? Are you scared? Is the baby healthy?" F U.

1stimemommy1215 · July 2015

When I announced that I was expecting to the ladies at work one of them asked me "So were you trying?".... No not at all! Seriously?! Haha!

VesperLove · July 2015

"Were you trying?" and "Was it planned?" are the most awkward to me. DH and I have been together for seven years and got married in October of last year ... and are 31 and 36 years old ... it's not like we're super young, unmarried, jobless, etc. We went to college, started careers, met, got married ... why is having a kid a surprising next step?

taysun · July 2015

I think no matter who you are, was it planned is always rude

mrs14678 · July 2015

Oh yeah, we announced at 6 weeks, cos we were impatient. Immediately this 30-something old maid (seriously, there's a reason she is unmarried/single) said in a super condescending tone, "Wow. That's really early to say anything. Aren't you afraid? What if something happens? I'd be so scared to tell anyone until 2nd trimester!" I said "Well, if I did miscarry, God forbid, it was still a baby and I'd rather people know why I'm in mourning! And, they'll know why I feel sick from morning sickness and not wonder why I don't have any energy." That shut her up!

celainev · July 2015

It isn't a question, but the other day somebody who didn't know I was pregnant, looked at my belly and said "you're pregnant!" I'm 16 weeks and definitely showing. When I told a coworker this story she laughed and said "that's not the baby, that's just stomach fat." ...... Thanks.

celainev · July 2015

shelbysbarnes · July 2015

"Well that didn't take long..." "Well obviously you weren't NOT trying.." My least favorite comments to date. College degree. Married. Good job. Why does it matter? Everyone always has something to say. Hubby and I will have been together for 6 years when or baby gets here, that's perfect for us.

ChiccoBeanz · July 2015

I got "Is that for real?!" As they stared at my 17 week old belly. Also, " You couldn't wait?" Mind you, I graduated with my Masters in January, I have good and unionized profession, I get married in 2 months, my own car and apt... I think I got things under control so far no? My FH compliments me well too... sheesh!

BostonBaby1 · July 2015

ArielleRene said:
Oh yeah, we announced at 6 weeks, cos we were impatient. Immediately this 30-something old maid (seriously, there's a reason she is unmarried/single) said in a super condescending tone, "Wow. That's really early to say anything. Aren't you afraid? What if something happens? I'd be so scared to tell anyone until 2nd trimester!" I said "Well, if I did miscarry, God forbid, it was still a baby and I'd rather people know why I'm in mourning! And, they'll know why I feel sick from morning sickness and not wonder why I don't have any energy." That shut her up!

Or, it's possible that maybe she knows a lot of people that have had miscarriages and might even have had lots of friends that have gone through it or even had one herself. That doesn't give her the right to say anything to you though, but it is early to announce. Not everybody that has a miscarriage wants to tell the world.

Again, it's your right to feel that this was an intrusive, but I'm just saying that I don't think she was necessarily coming from a place of harm with that one aka trying to be intrusive. Of course I wasn't there, so I could be wrong.

amw2133 · July 2015

Hubby and I got married in January. The funniest question I got was "so were you pregnant at your wedding?" Um no... I'm due in December learn how to count! Haha

Sweetsunshine83 · July 2015

Not a rude question, but comments about my husband's age drive me crazy. Yes, he is 49 (and I can barely keep up with him, he's like a big kid/energizer bunny!) Yes, most of his friends' children are graduating from high school and here we are due with twins. But we just got married 2 years ago, struggled with infertility and I am 10 years younger than he is. Why can't people just be happy for us (and for all of you instead of the 'was it planned?' questions!) and keep their age related comments to themselves?? Ok rant over!

mrs14678 · July 2015

BostonBaby1 said:

ArielleRene said:
Oh yeah, we announced at 6 weeks, cos we were impatient. Immediately this 30-something old maid (seriously, there's a reason she is unmarried/single) said in a super condescending tone, "Wow. That's really early to say anything. Aren't you afraid? What if something happens? I'd be so scared to tell anyone until 2nd trimester!" I said "Well, if I did miscarry, God forbid, it was still a baby and I'd rather people know why I'm in mourning! And, they'll know why I feel sick from morning sickness and not wonder why I don't have any energy." That shut her up!
Or, it's possible that maybe she knows a lot of people that have had miscarriages and might even have had lots of friends that have gone through it or even had one herself. That doesn't give her the right to say anything to you though, but it is early to announce. Not everybody that has a miscarriage wants to tell the world.

Again, it's your right to feel that this was an intrusive, but I'm just saying that I don't think she was necessarily coming from a place of harm with that one aka trying to be intrusive. Of course I wasn't there, so I could be wrong.

No, unfortunately she was just rude. It's her personality. :P But, I hear what you're saying, and I'm sure some would be sensitive. I have a dear friend who had a rainbow baby last year. They told people about their second pregnancy at 8 weeks and lost it at 12... They lost their first at 26 weeks.

mtownhespes · July 2015

amw2133 said:
Hubby and I got married in January. The funniest question I got was "so were you pregnant at your wedding?" Um no... I'm due in December learn how to count! Haha

I've been WAITING for someone to ask me this so I can be snarky in response. We got married Feb 13, went off the pill Mar 1, and presto! But I'm SURE some idiot will ask it at some point!

BostonBaby1 · July 2015

ArielleRene said:

BostonBaby1 said:

ArielleRene said:
Oh yeah, we announced at 6 weeks, cos we were impatient. Immediately this 30-something old maid (seriously, there's a reason she is unmarried/single) said in a super condescending tone, "Wow. That's really early to say anything. Aren't you afraid? What if something happens? I'd be so scared to tell anyone until 2nd trimester!" I said "Well, if I did miscarry, God forbid, it was still a baby and I'd rather people know why I'm in mourning! And, they'll know why I feel sick from morning sickness and not wonder why I don't have any energy." That shut her up!
Or, it's possible that maybe she knows a lot of people that have had miscarriages and might even have had lots of friends that have gone through it or even had one herself. That doesn't give her the right to say anything to you though, but it is early to announce. Not everybody that has a miscarriage wants to tell the world.

Again, it's your right to feel that this was an intrusive, but I'm just saying that I don't think she was necessarily coming from a place of harm with that one aka trying to be intrusive. Of course I wasn't there, so I could be wrong.
No, unfortunately she was just rude. It's her personality. :P But, I hear what you're saying, and I'm sure some would be sensitive. I have a dear friend who had a rainbow baby last year. They told people about their second pregnancy at 8 weeks and lost it at 12... They lost their first at 26 weeks.

Ugh. Twatwaffle. So glad your friend got her rainbow baby!

haylierm · July 2015

ketobaby said:
So last week I publicly announced on facebook. I had an acquaintance text me and ask me "Was it planned" and "If I had stopped my birth control" Yeah that was a week ago, still no reply from me.

I got this one too! This was the first (and I'm sure not last) intrusive question I've gotten so far. Feels like a right of passage. Lol my husband and I were in Vegas back in may and he walked up to a bar and ordered a beer and asked what kind of juice they had. The bartender gave him a weird look so he explained it was for me because I'm pregnant. And he asked us, was it planned. Like, uhhh. Does that make a difference for what juice I can get? Lol cranberry for planned, OJ for unplanned!
:-/

c000501 · July 2015

At the grocery store the lady packing up our groceries asked when I was due, I said December. She then said, PLEASE tell me that's not your first!... I said no it's our third, then she says... Well, that explains it. In hindsight I would have loved to say first to see her eyes bug out. If you want to ask me why I'm big, please do..... I laughed but other coworkers are like, you aren't big.... They all think this unfiltered woman was rude. Maybe so but I laugh because this rainbow baby is my purpose.

jmomof4 · July 2015

This is our 5th and I'm currently getting all sorts of comments such as... "Wow don't you know how to keep that from happening?" (Really??!?) "I hope you are rich!" (Kids are only as expensive as you make them) "Are you buying a new house?" (Yeah because our 3k sq ft 4br house with a finished full ceiling attic/playroom isn't enough.) "you must be so exhausted!" (Find me a mom that isn't tired.. 1 kid or 20.) "are you trying to be the duggars?" (Somehow there's no difference between 5 and 19?!?) My favorite.. "You are way too young to have 5 kids!" (Are you insinuating that I'm a child bride or that I was sleeping around young? I was 19 when i lost my virginity and got pregnant a few months later, but thanks for your concern.)

Knottie78653700 · July 2015

I'm in a same sex marriage. From an older woman the other day (who knows that I'm married to a woman) I got 'are you happy about this?' With a bit of a grimace. Like maybe it could have happened accidentally.

caitlyn5454 · July 2015

jmomof4 said:

This is our 5th and I'm currently getting all sorts of comments such as... "Wow don't you know how to keep that from happening?" (Really??!?) "I hope you are rich!" (Kids are only as expensive as you make them) "Are you buying a new house?" (Yeah because our 3k sq ft 4br house with a finished full ceiling attic/playroom isn't enough.) "you must be so exhausted!" (Find me a mom that isn't tired.. 1 kid or 20.) "are you trying to be the duggars?" (Somehow there's no difference between 5 and 19?!?) My favorite.. "You are way too young to have 5 kids!" (Are you insinuating that I'm a child bride or that I was sleeping around young? I was 19 when i lost my virginity and got pregnant a few months later, but thanks for your concern.)

You must have a ton more patience than I do. Any of that would have me raging for blood.

ACarter0914 · July 2015

"You should be careful, you might miscarry like (blank).

My husband had gotten his ex girlfriend pregnant and she miscarried so that automatically means I'm going too. Keep in mind I already have one happy, healthy child.

amcgeorge0921 · July 2015

When DH and I met with my MIL to tell her the news the first thing she asked was "so how much weight have you gained?" I was 11 weeks at the time and when I told her I was actually losing weight from horrible morning sickness she just made a face and said "well then." I think she was hoping I was going to ballon up because she then went on to tell me how she gained 70 pounds with DH! Then when asking if we wanted a girl or boy I told her we would be perfectly fine with either but I would love a little girl first if I got to pick. She wrinkled up her nose and said "well I'm partial to boys. What would I do with a girl?"

fiorip · July 2015

amw2133 said:
Hubby and I got married in January. The funniest question I got was "so were you pregnant at your wedding?" Um no... I'm due in December learn how to count! Haha

I also got married in January and I get that all the time! I'm like, can you count? Do the math! My husband and I have been together for 9 years now, I'm 28 and he's 29, we're both doctors with steady jobs. We knew we wanted kids right away and we had gone through a miscarriage before, we were ready to be parents and wanted to know there wasn't anything wrong with us, that the miscarriage happened for no organic reason. We also get the "was it planned?" And the totally inappropriate "that was fast" to which my husband now replays with "she just can't keep her hands off me" which cracks me up.

mtownhespes · July 2015

Knottie78653700 said:
I'm in a same sex marriage. From an older woman the other day (who knows that I'm married to a woman) I got 'are you happy about this?' With a bit of a grimace. Like maybe it could have happened accidentally.

Ok this may be my favorite. Did they think you got wasted and woke up in a sperm bank? Lmao people are so stupid.

3rdtimecharm& · July 2015

Just look at them astonished and go, oh! you don't know? And launch into the birds and the bees. That ought to shut em up.

Gingermom15 · July 2015

Mine that I get all the time and my answers.
Was it planned? That's irrelevant to you.
Are you happy to be pregnant? He's a blessing. Why wouldn't I be happy?
Do you wish it was a girl instead? We wished for a healthy baby regardless of gender. Or (my favorite) we were planning on it being a potato so it was quite a shock to find a human male in there.

Gingermom15 · July 2015

Knottie78653700 said:
I'm in a same sex marriage. From an older woman the other day (who knows that I'm married to a woman) I got 'are you happy about this?' With a bit of a grimace. Like maybe it could have happened accidentally.

This is the best one by far. I honestly don't know what I would have said lol.

Gingermom15 · July 2015

Oh, and I'm starting to get asked if my BF and I will ever get married and make our baby an honest child or if we think marriage is sacred. Yes we plan on marriage when we are ready and yes we know it's sacred. Bunch of self righteous judgmental old ladies that I work with.

ealiska · July 2015

fiorip said:

amw2133 said:
Hubby and I got married in January. The funniest question I got was "so were you pregnant at your wedding?" Um no... I'm due in December learn how to count! Haha
I also got married in January and I get that all the time! I'm like, can you count? Do the math! My husband and I have been together for 9 years now, I'm 28 and he's 29, we're both doctors with steady jobs. We knew we wanted kids right away and we had gone through a miscarriage before, we were ready to be parents and wanted to know there wasn't anything wrong with us, that the miscarriage happened for no organic reason. We also get the "was it planned?" And the totally inappropriate "that was fast" to which my husband now replays with "she just can't keep her hands off me" which cracks me up.

The " that was fast" drives me bonkers!

My best friend's family (who I'm super close with)is aware that my mom and grandma had fertility issues so we decided to not try to prevent a pregnancy right away. When she told her little brother (21) he just responded with "the seed is strong with that one" (referring to my husband). THAT legit cracked me up:)

seahawksfans · July 2015

I have had lots of coworkers ask me if I am having the baby naturally. I don't understand how this is anyones business even if I do want to try that way?? I only talk about that with my spouse and my friends who have had babies before to seek their advice. I hope taking a class will relieve my fears but I certainly don't want to talk about it with people I barely know who just happened to notice I am getting a belly. That is just weird. To other PP points, I also think sadly for friends who have lost babies or struggled with IVF issues who get asked constantly when are they having kids as if there is a deadline or something. I try not to ask others unless they volunteer information. If someone isn't your close friend, a family member or close aquaintance those questions should be kept to themselves unless someone brings it up TO you.

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