Missing Baby Shower

nycmommy13 · July 2015

My SIL is pregnant as well and having her baby shower a few weeks after mine. My shower, however, is pretty late in my pregnancy and by the time her shower comes around, it's within 3-4 weeks of the due date. She lives 3 1/2 to 4 hours away. My husband and I told my MIL we're so sorry to miss it but that it's too close to the due date and we don't plan on leaving the area starting in mid-September (I'm due October 27th - originally November 1st.) She kept saying how disappointed she was and making suggestions about making sure she gets the name of a good doctor at the local hospital in case anything goes wrong or saying it's not that close and we'd be fine. My husband told her it's our personal decision and told me not to feel guilty about it. I feel guilty, though, but at the same time, I want to make sure everything's ok with my baby, especially since I have PCOS and have a higher risk of preterm labor. Thoughts?

VexedMommy · July 2015

If it's something that you definitely don't want to do, stick to your guns and don't do it. If it's something you'd like to do but are worried, I'd discuss your risk of preterm labor with your doctor and see what he/she thinks about going that distance within 1 month of your due date. If your doctor advises against it, you have your answer. In either case, it's your call to make.

CarrieOct15 · July 2015

Pushy family seriously irks me. If you're not comfortable with it, it should be left at that. If I was high risk, I wouldn't be traveling that far so close to my due date, either. I'm sure the local hospital is perfectly fine, but I picked out my hospital for a reason, and I wouldn't want to end up delivering somewhere else.

katiedhunter · July 2015

Maybe it's different cause it's my third but at 36weeks I'm still driving 4-5 hours away for a wedding. I too have PCOS and not once has my doctor even thought of preterm labour. Even with my first that was high risk, for a different reason. All that being said, you have to do what your comfortable with. I'm sure since your SIL is preggo as well she would understand. Don't let people start guilting you into things now or when that baby comes they'll keep trying! Lol Seriously darling I wouldn't worry, just send a nice big present and say that's that. No reason to stress.

Favoritemandms · July 2015

I'm sorry you're feeling guilty about it. My SIL is not coming to my shower because she's in the exact same situation as you are. No one should be making you feel badly about this.

LauraK33 · July 2015

I agree with everyone else...it's about what you're comfortable with. Ds2 came at 36 weeks for me after my first had to be induced, so I get nervous with the idea of traveling so close. Don't let her guilt you into anything that doesn't feel right for you!

ash413 · July 2015

I agree, you have to do what makes you comfortable. If they are still being pushy, just tell them your doctor is advising you not leave the area that close to your due date. Make your doctor the bad guy.

marsbars25 · July 2015

+1 for all the "follow your heart" advice above. Adding a potentially very UO: maybe your SIL will secretly be relieved you can't make it? I'm sure she'd love to have you there of course, but maybe she'll enjoy being the only preggo in the spotlight? I'm such a bad person for this but I feel like I might be mildly irritated if all my shower guests were focused on someone else's impending due date.

gumby22c · July 2015

I don't think you are being unreasonable by sticking to your guns. If you aren't comfortable with the idea of traveling that distance at that point in your pregnancy, no one can blame you for that. Try not to feel guilty, you aren't doing anything wrong. And maybe have your H put a stop to MIL being pushy. Being that it's his family, he should be the one to put his foot down and ask them to drop the issue.

Pontot31 · July 2015

gumby22c said:
I don't think you are being unreasonable by sticking to your guns. If you aren't comfortable with the idea of traveling that distance at that point in your pregnancy, no one can blame you for that. Try not to feel guilty, you aren't doing anything wrong. And maybe have your H put a stop to MIL being pushy. Being that it's his family, he should be the one to put his foot down and ask them to drop the issue.

All of this.

Favoritemandms · July 2015

@marsbars25 I don't think you're a bad person for saying that. I had the SAME thought when I found out my ready to pop SIL wasn't going to make it to my shower.

MadBloom · July 2015

I don't think I'd want to travel that close to my due date but it's more for comfort haha.

kelseyb40 · July 2015

My husband works 5 hours away from where I will be delivering and where our house is. We all stay together in a place about 20 minutes from his work and I drive back for my apts. My doctor told me that he wanted me to be back home permanently by 36 weeks so that we weren't risking going into labor 5 hours away.

Want a personalized experience?

Missing Baby Shower

Re: Missing Baby Shower

Choose Another Board

Search Boards