September 2015 Moms

MIL irritating comments (mini rant)

I'm pregnant with my first (planning to birth naturally) and my mother in law will not stop badgering me about how I'm going to have a 9 or 10lb baby, because that's what she had with all 3 of her boys. She was 2 weeks over due with all of them by the way. Its really starting to irritate me. I try to just say "we will see" but today while out looking at baby clothes she said I might as well not even bother with the little clothes because he will probably be in 3 months by the time he's 1 month old. Also, when we went over for dinner the other night the first thing she said when I walked in was "wow, you got big!" It's not like we never see them, we had just seen them the previous week. Anyone else dealing with a rude MIL? Any suggestions how to handle it? ((Sorry for the rant)

Re: MIL irritating comments (mini rant)

  • Not my MIL but others and their helpful comments, especially the I look ready to pop. I just smile and nod..
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  • Just try to let it slide and ignore it everyone thinks they can give pregnant women unwanted advice.
  • jen83mnjen83mn member
    edited July 2015
    I'm going in expecting a 9-lb baby ... I was almost 9, my brother was 10, and DH was over 9, but we were also all 2 weeks late. Figured I would rather expect a big baby and be prepared! Because of our history, I'm also not planning on buying many newborn-sized things and figure if the baby does come out smaller than expected, I can buy newborn stuff then (just don't want to end up with a bunch of stuff I won't be able to use for long!).

    That being said, our moms gave birth to all of us naturally with no drugs, so it is possible even if you do end up with a big baby! In the meantime, try to just shrug off her comments ... my mom tells me every time I see her how much bigger I've gotten, but I know it's just because she's super excited for her first grandkid and me getting bigger makes it even more real for her :)
  • I found that my MIL drives me absolutely crazy since I got pregnant with my first. I liked her until then. It only gets worse while I'm pregnant.
  • WDDCHWDDCH member
    You'll only continue to be driven crazy unless you speak up and tell her that you find her comments to be stressful. Even then she may not stop, I don't know. But if something bothers you then you have the choice to continue to ignore it or finally speak up and put your foot down.
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  • My MIL drives me crazy! Just yesterday she had the nerve to ask my husband to drive almost 5 hours round trip (1.5 to her house, then 2 to my moms then 1 back home) on Friday night after work (he gets home at 7:30) so that he can pick up the baby shower gifts as they don't have enough room in the car. She had him do the same thing for my bridal shower so I was expecting it and told him to let her know ahead of time that he isn't available Friday night because we have a birthing class, but of course he forgot. Then she had the nerve to tell him to come Saturday morning to get everything (and that drive would be even longer a total of close to 6 hours) but we have plans and I have to be at my shower at 2:30. So now she is upset because he won't do all that crazy driving. I give up on her she is very selfish, but I can't do anything about who she is or how she acts so I try my best to just smile at her!
  • Unfortunately my MIL is the same way. We already discussed that I didn't want a shower. Well because my SIL found out what she is having and they are taking about her 3rd shower. .. in 3 years she texts me again and asks. After I state that there really isn't a date in August that's good she has the nerve to ask about a date in September. Um excuse me? She was the opposite of your MIL and insisted on buying all newborn stuff even though I told her that my family has big babies. She believed me only after my son was born early at 8lbs 12oz. I've tried talking to her this time and it doesn't work and I've tried not saying anything. I've discovered that I get more annoyed arguing with her. Let her buy you the big clothes at least the baby can grow into them.
  • My MIL is not really bothering me this go round, but with my first, she insisted on telling me the nitty gritty details of her birthing process (that was actually fine because I couldn't get enough of stories at the time), but then proceeded to insist my experience would be identical. It was bizarre and annoying.
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  • My MIL goes on about how tiny I am, and then I feel like I don't have a right to be miserable or waddle just because I'm not as big as she was when she was pregnant with twins (my hubby). I think she means well, but she told my hubby that she was still bailing hay at 9 months pregnant, using her big belly to rest the hay on while she carried it. Her stories have skewed his perception of how hard pregnancy is, and sometimes I feel like he expects too much of me. Drives me nuts!!!!
  • babs02babs02 member
    My MIL does the same things! We see my inlaws at least once a week. Every time she comments about how big I am or how my belly has changed. She swears my labor will be just like when she had DH. My biggest problem with her is that she remembers when my dr appts are, a few weeks ago I didn't call or text her to let her know how it went and she called my husband later that day asking if I was ok. I know with her there's no way around it. I'm very non confrontational while she always states her opinion, and she has an opinion on everything! I mostly let it slide now because once I am in labor I just want DH in the room and want at least an hour with just us and the baby before we allow visitors.
  • I've been dodging an increase in MIL comments lately, so I can totally relate. Something about becoming pregnant, back in December, has just made her worse towards me overtime. DH is scheduling a time to "have a talk with her" in the next couple weeks since it's gotten out of hand, with mostly passive agressive/passive controlling comments regarding the pregnancy, and other non-pregnant related things.
    I did buy her a book, as a way to volley back the passive agressive behavior she's been dishing out to me... it's called "The Pleasures & Perils of becoming a Grandmother" ... look up the reviews on Amazon- I think it's good for any MIL who is overstepping her boundaries!
  • WDDCHWDDCH member
    I have got to add: I've heard the birth stories of my husband and his siblings SO SO SO many times. Always told the same way. Starting to make me feel impatient when she brings them up again and again (have been hearing them for the past 11 years). It's easier to nod-and-smile through those than the crap your MIL is saying though. If she constantly spoke about my weight or baby's weight I'd be like, "No. Just no. Hush."

    Why would HER births reflect on yours anyway? I thought women took after their own mothers. Maybe I'm wrong. I know the daddy's genes are there, too, but pretty sure birth weight is more heavily on momma's side and her unique pregnancy (like having GD or anything).
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  • ANB620ANB620 member
    Thank you everyone for commenting! I'm so glad I'm not alone in the struggle with my MIL. I most definitely agree that women take after their mother's, not their mothers in law. It's like she's saying my son is just 100% him and his family.
  • My doctor told us that the birth weight seems to go more along with the pattern of what the mother (you) weighed at birth.
  • Well at least your MIL acknowledges you and your pregnancy... I see mine a couple times a month and she doesn't even ask about the baby or how I'm doing. It's actually quite strange. I think she doesn't like me much since I took her last baby away from her... blah blah blah, he's 37 years old, get over it.

    Then again, I don't have to hear a bunch of crazy stories so maybe I'm better off! I just hope she treats this baby as well as she treats the others...though I have my suspicions.
  • str13str13 member
    Sorry you're having to deal with little barbs from MIL!! I can't deal with my in-laws right now. I even told DH that I won't be at the house next time MIL comes over. She lit DD1s bday cake and sang happy birthday to her while I was in the other room changing a diaper. She's hurt me a lot and it only makes the relationship worse for us to be around each other very often.
  • I hope your baby is tiny. And is in small clothes. Then you will get the last laugh. People can be annoying. Just be thankful she's not your mom!
  • I'd ignore all of it- my MIL had 5 kids ranging in size from 8.5lbs to 11lbs (dh was 9.15lbs). I weighed 8.5lbs and my mom had 4 kids all weighing 8-9lbs. The biggest baby I've had of my 3 kids was 8lbs 1oz so not overly large. And between my husbands 4 sisters we've had the biggest baby at 8lbs so despite big babies on both sides no one has had overly large kids. Also, my 8lb baby was in newborn clothes for a good month so there's that too.
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  • shelbyddshelbydd member
    edited July 2015

    My doctor told us that the birth weight seems to go more along with the pattern of what the mother (you) weighed at birth.

    I really hope that's not true. My husband was 7lbs at birth, I was almost 10lbs. :|
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  • Well at least your MIL acknowledges you and your pregnancy... I see mine a couple times a month and she doesn't even ask about the baby or how I'm doing. It's actually quite strange. I think she doesn't like me much since I took her last baby away from her... blah blah blah, he's 37 years old, get over it.

    Then again, I don't have to hear a bunch of crazy stories so maybe I'm better off! I just hope she treats this baby as well as she treats the others...though I have my suspicions.

    Wow, I relate to everything you said here!!! We could have some great swapping of stories. Lol! Mine has hated me since the day we got engaged...back in 2013....and it hasn't been better since marriage. This birth isn't helping either. We can't figure it out..I swear it's like she's jealous of me for being with her youngest baby boy?!
  • str13 said:

    Sorry you're having to deal with little barbs from MIL!! I can't deal with my in-laws right now. I even told DH that I won't be at the house next time MIL comes over. She lit DD1s bday cake and sang happy birthday to her while I was in the other room changing a diaper. She's hurt me a lot and it only makes the relationship worse for us to be around each other very often.

    Oh my.....That's so awful and totally on purpose! I'm so sorry.
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