HELP! Am I over reacting? MIL rubbing and kissing my belly and doing baby talk.....

RRC216 · July 2015

OK so last night my MIL was rubbing and kissing my belly and saying in a baby voice "How's the babyyyyyyyyyy". Dear god, I wanted to rip her lips off! Am I over reacting? I don't want anyone rubbing or touching my belly. I am only just about 7 weeks for crying out loud! I get annoyed with her pretty easily.... Am I a meanie? How do I tell her to take her slobbery lips off my stomach? In a nice way.. She so dang sensitive!

HBirdie · July 2015

That's so, so, so annoying. Seriously. I tolerate people touching my stomach but it's way too early for that. Maybe you should make a slightly snarky comment about how the baby is actually tucked behind your public bone right now and see if she wants to kiss that

RRC216 · July 2015

That's part of why I am so annoyed. It is way too early. She's kissing nothing! I wouldn't mind if I had an actual bump and she wanted to touch, but not kissing me! It is bothering me a day later!!!

DizzyMom1 · July 2015

I would just tell her you're really not comfortable with people touching your stomach and ask her to please stop. Clear and not easy to ignore. I hate when people violate my personal space.

brushesnbrunch · July 2015

Ew ew ew

bbax44 · July 2015

Yikes!!

FreshBakedBrownies · July 2015

Ick! You better do something to stop that now, or it's going to be a looooong road to February!!

LEAA14 · July 2015

No. This is not ok. Unless you are the other parent, you need *explicit permission* before doing something like this. I would either say something or start doing it back to her so she can see just How. Freaking. Weird. and uncomfortable this is. She needs to learn boundaries now or you are going to be miserable around her for the next several months.

PedsIsHardcore · July 2015

I would have told her off big time because that's crazy. I don't like to be touched at all. Not even having SO touch me.

g8trkim · July 2015

On one hand, yeah it's weird because it's so early and she's in your space. However, having a MIL who never gave two craps about my pregnancies it's nice that yours cares. You may want to nicely say something or ask DH to mention it the next time it comes up.

Edit autocorrect

Kiek · July 2015

Ew. I don't like to be touched period lol. That would freak me out. And I adore my MIL. She's one of my favorite people and I would be freaked out by that lol

Twindling · July 2015

I think touching someone without permission is inappropriate.
FWIW, I loved people touching my belly once I was noticeably pregnant. There's my UO for the week

rainbowminion · July 2015

Bfavors said:

Ew ew ew

This.

wisco29 · July 2015

No way my mil is getting close enough to kiss me! Everyone knows how I feel about belly touching from dd... Hopefully I don't have to reiterate it constantly.

geojam224 · July 2015

I fricken hate that...

Edit: playing with gifs

...and I give up

lightrox · July 2015

Rub and kiss her belly and see if she likes it.

When I was pregnant with my first random coworkers would try to touch my belly without permission many hands got smacked in response. I'm not touchy feely in the first place so that would irritate me.

4N6s · July 2015

My mom did that to me with my last pregnancy at like 9 weeks and I slapped her hand.

name1109 · July 2015

My vote: No. You're not overreacting.

soozabooza · July 2015

Agree w/ others - definitely not an over-react. Maybe tell her the baby makes you gassy so she should keep her distance?

Or maybe have DH drop a hint (she might take it better from him than you)?

Oh, the joys of in laws!

twinmom1121 · July 2015

My mil never touched my belly when I was pregnant with my twins. She's not a super touchy person though. I don't mind people touching but kissing it when you're only 7 weeks is a little weird! My mom would kiss my belly when I was pretty big and I didn't mind that much cause it was my mom. But I wouldn't have liked it much if it was my mil!!

HBirdie · July 2015

This could just be me, but I think the act of kissing a pregnant belly is just odd. Even when an appropriate person (AKA the partner) does it at an appropriate time (AKA when you're huge). Like... you know there's a whole mess of crap between your mouth and the gooey baby inside of there, right? Ugh. Talking/singing to it, cool. They can hear that. But kissing it is weird.
Then again I am NOT a touchy person so this is definitely influencing my feelings on the subject.

cook1118 · July 2015

Im sorry. This is just plain weird. Especially since my own mom doesn't even do that. Im not a touchy feely person either, so the thought just makes me shriek. Usually the DH is the only one I let my guard down too and is allowed to hug or kiss my stomach. I agree with the other moms above who suggest that you ask DH to drop a hint. Be like, HELP!!

sbegnaud93 · July 2015

I usually hate when people touch my belly, but I know for people like my mother and MIL, they're just so excited. I love them both so much and what does it hurt for her to get all goofy? This is both their first grand babies, so even though it kind of irritates me, I know they just love me and DH!

Edit: for the record, kissing = creepy, unless it's DH

loveleesarah · July 2015

Tell your husband to talk to her about it. It's hard to say something to her yourself if your non-confrontational like me... But she will stop if he says something. It's the easy way out!

RRC216 · July 2015

I think I may have my hubby say something.I explained to him that I am NOT comfortable with it. The baby is not even where she is kissing! lol, I may tell her to hold off rubbing for a long long LONG while because the kid is the size of the pea and absolutely no kissing. I just get annoyed with the baby talk and asking me how it is. I don't F-ING know!!! I hope it is in there and alive!!! Now I'm regretting inviting her to my first u/s..... BIG mistake. My husband is the only child, so this is her first grand baby. I get her excitement, but it's weird as hell.... I see her today... WISH ME LUCK!

robinj716 · July 2015

My MIL did the same thing and kept saying "move baby, move" and I kept telling her my belly is just fat and bloat and you cannot feel the baby and you can't feel it moving yet either. It sounds like yours is doing the exact same thing as mine. I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I never said anything. She eventually asked did it bother me and I kindly said a little bit and she hasn't done it since!

blueberrymomma · July 2015

The only person I let kiss my belly is DD because she's 2 and it's cute. I'll ask her where the baby is and she comes over and kisses by belly. Otherwise I don't like anyone (DH, mom, MIL ) to touch my belly before you can tell, like 20weeks lol. My MIL however has no boundaries and when we told her and FIL yesterday she rubbed and patty my belly and I almost freaked. But I agree with others that having your SO say something is the best way to deal with it.

chitownparent · July 2015

CicchettiFamily said:

I think I may have my hubby say something.I explained to him that I am NOT comfortable with it. The baby is not even where she is kissing! lol, I may tell her to hold off rubbing for a long long LONG while because the kid is the size of the pea and absolutely no kissing. I just get annoyed with the baby talk and asking me how it is. I don't F-ING know!!! I hope it is in there and alive!!! Now I'm regretting inviting her to my first u/s..... BIG mistake. My husband is the only child, so this is her first grand baby. I get her excitement, but it's weird as hell.... I see her today... WISH ME LUCK!

Or, how about "No touching or kissing the belly EVER."? Your husband should be the first to tell her. If she does it to you again, just swat her away. My MIL did that to me once when I was at her house because I wasn't drinking and (things aren't great between us anyway), I scowled really big and pushed her away and said, "What the hell are you doing?" She felt pretty dumb, which is good. No one should feel comfortable doing that to you.

brushesnbrunch · July 2015

I'm not the type of person that has any sort of graphic/words on her shirts, but I thought this was appropriate for this thread...

HBirdie · July 2015

CicchettiFamily said:

I think I may have my hubby say something.I explained to him that I am NOT comfortable with it. The baby is not even where she is kissing! lol, I may tell her to hold off rubbing for a long long LONG while because the kid is the size of the pea and absolutely no kissing. I just get annoyed with the baby talk and asking me how it is. I don't F-ING know!!! I hope it is in there and alive!!! Now I'm regretting inviting her to my first u/s..... BIG mistake. My husband is the only child, so this is her first grand baby. I get her excitement, but it's weird as hell.... I see her today... WISH ME LUCK!

@CicchettiFamily: How did it go today?

Monkeybutt80 · July 2015

That's not right and you are not overreacting! she needs to have boundaries! Hope your husband was able to explain to her.

I once slapped away an old lady's hand in an elevator when she tried to reach over and touch my belly (I was 40 weeks pushing 41 weeks, so I had a big belly). I know she meant well, but it totally caught me off guard. She apologized, and I apologized (for slapping) and just said that I am not comfortable with people touching me. I did wonder if she'd think twice about touching random pregnant lady's belly after the incident.

soozabooza · July 2015

@Bfavors ... that shirt is amazing.

RRC216 · July 2015

@HBirdie I actually avoided her and stayed home. Lol, I had a bad migraine. I see her on Thursday for my ultrasound. I am just going to tell her to save her kisses for the baby when it is born. And explain to her I am not comfortable with belly rubbing or kissing. If im further along and she wants to feel the baby kick, I'm ok with that. But for now, NO! NO TOUCHY!

g8trkim · July 2015

CicchettiFamily said:

@HBirdie I actually avoided her and stayed home. Lol, I had a bad migraine. I see her on Thursday for my ultrasound. I am just going to tell her to save her kisses for the baby when it is born. And explain to her I am not comfortable with belly rubbing or kissing. If im further along and she wants to feel the baby kick, I'm ok with that. But for now, NO! NO TOUCHY!

I hope she takes it well and backs off. It's kind of an awkward position for you but I have a feeling it will just get worse over time if you don't say anything. Best of luck!

HBirdie · July 2015

CicchettiFamily said:

@HBirdie I actually avoided her and stayed home. Lol, I had a bad migraine. I see her on Thursday for my ultrasound. I am just going to tell her to save her kisses for the baby when it is born. And explain to her I am not comfortable with belly rubbing or kissing. If im further along and she wants to feel the baby kick, I'm ok with that. But for now, NO! NO TOUCHY!

Good! I have definitely used MS as an excuse not to see my ILs a lot lately. haha
Good lucky telling her! I'm glad you're going to set boundaries.

trishkev07 · July 2015

I can't wait to have a bump that people will want to touch, however when it comes to straight up kissing my not-there-yet stomach I would be definitely freaked out! I def. think you should have your husband talk to her about it so you don't have to deal with it.

MeaganBrown118 · July 2015

I already had one of my MIL's friend run my belly. I wanted to slap her hand away. The only person I'm affectionate with is my husband. I don't like anyone else touching me. Completely understandable!

jaimeruns · July 2015

I hate anyone touching my stomach- even my DH but I tolerate him doing it now. As far as anyone else goes... That's a whole box of nopes!

UTHorn · July 2015

Ever since reading this the other day I've had various dreams of me walking around with a fly swatter and swatting people's hands away from my belly. Nine weeks right now and waiting until the fourteenth week to tell my in laws. Not looking forward to it at all. I have no relationship with them and I really don't want to start one now.

iamjustj · July 2015

Nope. Just nope. I would have lost it.

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HELP! Am I over reacting? MIL rubbing and kissing my belly and doing baby talk.....

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