August 2015 Moms

Anyone else felt alone during this pregnancy?

This is my second baby. Hubby of over 7 years has been so absent. He acts as if I'm not pregnant at times. At 36 weeks pregnant, he still expects me to do deep cleaning like scrubbing toilets on hands and knees or climbing and moving a steel ladder to dust ceiling fans. We've also fought a lot throughout this pregnancy, and he acts like he couldn't care less about about my feelings. He claims it's my hormones; but I obviously feel he doesn't care.

Re: Anyone else felt alone during this pregnancy?

  • I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way. It's tough when you feel like you're going it alone, especially since you've already got a little one to take care of. This is my third baby and this pregnancy has definitely been tougher than my other two. I attribute that to chasing around a 2 and 4 year old. My husband is a police officer and he works nights so at least 4 days a week (and sometimes more, he's a SWAT operator and is on call 24/7) I am on my own with the kids. What has helped us a lot is every other week scheduling some time together and every week I try to get out of the house on my own and he stays with the girls. I think communication is very important, he didn't realize how worn down I was until I broke down around 24 weeks. Things have been much better since then because he finally understands how I feel. It helps that I had to go out of town for military training for 4 days and when I got back he had a whole new appreciation for everything I do with the girls and around the house and he helps out much more. I hope things get better for you. Get a babysitter and go out on a date. I think part of the problem is that as mothers we get so wrapped up in taking care of ourselves and the kids sometimes the Husbands can feel neglected. Hugs!
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  • This is our first baby and hubby's been here most of the time. But I have no friends really to keep me company. I've sat around the house a lot throughout this pregnancy and there's been times its bummed me out. But we're pulling through. TB helps.
  • Some men are so insensitive. My husband gets like that. His mom and sister put him in check for me when it gets real bad. I spent last week and the week before in the hospital (long story) - I'm so happy to be home on bed rest instead of the hospital. My husband still doesn't get it though- after he made breakfast for DD and I this morning he asked me to clean the kitchen. I'm not supposed to do anything that's why it's called bed rest!! I'm actually only one week out of surgery, a surgery I was put to sleep for. They don't put pregnant people to sleep unless it's a major emergency! I could go on and on with reasons on why I relate to exactly what you are saying but it will just anger me and make me contract more than I already am contracting. I'm going to think positive and just say my husband is a good man but he just happens to let stupidity cloud his judgment :-)
  • Some men are so insensitive. My husband gets like that. His mom and sister put him in check for me when it gets real bad. I spent last week and the week before in the hospital (long story) - I'm so happy to be home on bed rest instead of the hospital. My husband still doesn't get it though- after he made breakfast for DD and I this morning he asked me to clean the kitchen. I'm not supposed to do anything that's why it's called bed rest!! I'm actually only one week out of surgery, a surgery I was put to sleep for. They don't put pregnant people to sleep unless it's a major emergency! I could go on and on with reasons on why I relate to exactly what you are saying but it will just anger me and make me contract more than I already am contracting. I'm going to think positive and just say my husband is a good man but he just happens to let stupidity cloud his judgment :-)
  • My SO was acting the same way, we eventually decided to split and co-parent our DD and unborn DS. making this pregnancy very different and lonely compared to my first.

    Hopefully you and your H can work this out. Communication is key



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