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November 2015 Moms
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Let's talk about SEX

vournicaladavournicalada member
edited May 2015 in November 2015 Moms
I am 14w + 2d and my boyfriend is totally off sex. It's weird because we've both always had such a high sex drive (sex almost every day) and now he's just not interested at all. It's driving me nuts!

I feel bad but my sex drive is still so high and I am craving some attention sexually.

Is this normal behaviour or does he no longer feel attracted to me now I have a little bump? My boobs are huge and have gone from a B to DD - I don't get it. Am I doing something wrong? :-(
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Re: Let's talk about SEX

  • Pontot31Pontot31 member
    I think guys tend to worry they could hurt you or the baby and they can get scared about all the changes to your body.
    Talk to him. Explain your feelings.
    You'll go through a lot of changes over the next few months and even more when the baby is born. Communication is key.
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  • VexyMommyVexyMommy member
    PP has it right. There are a lot of things going on in your SO's mind, just like there are in yours. Try to approach him about it when you're not emotional (or horny) and discuss it with him.
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  • lakesideknitterlakesideknitter member
    Agree with PPs. Communication is key - communication that is not accusational or overly emotionally-charged. In addition, keep in mind that you have an innate attachment to this baby already, so all of the changes you're experiencing are exciting and fun (well, most of them..). Men's hormones work differently, so he probably doesn't feel a strong attachment to baby yet - that may mean the changes seem much scarier and more stressful for him and not necessarily exciting.
    Me: 28, DH: 40
    Married 9/28/13
    DS born 11/12/15
    EDD 8/13/18
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  • vournicaladavournicalada member
    You guys are great, he is scared of hurting me or the baby-im only 5ft and 9 stone and he is 6ft+ and weighs 16st.

    Also scared to make me too hot suddenly as he knows that hot baths aren't allowed because of the increase in core temperature.

    I totally understand him now and am so glad I eased into the topic and talked it out :-) xx
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  • emmybean123emmybean123 member
    I wouldn't talk about it with him. Men don't like talking. My husband was worried too to start with, especially seeing as in the first trimester I was so ill and didn't want him to touch me. So when I woke up horny like you wouldn't believe he was a bit off for a week or two. He soon dropped that after we had the best sex ever. Just do whatever it takes to get him turned on and then show him a good time. Worked for me. We are currently at it like rabbits! Sorry for the Tmi! Xx
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  • Dayvia28Dayvia28 member
    I'm going through the same thing and it is very frustrating. I've tried talking about it and tried initiating sex but nothing is working. It's been 4 months. We used to have sex a couple times per week.
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  • gvgauthigvgauthi member
    edited July 2015
    @vournicalada I've been on pelvic rest and finally got the go ahead for "light" sex lol if that's even a thing. Doctor told me and hubby he couldn't "go all the way in" and "had to pull out" since semen contains prostaglandins that could cause me to go into preterm labor again. Ughhh I'm so frustrated. When we got home my hubby looked at me and said "I'm not touching you bc I don't wanna risk losing her". So I COMPLETELY understand. My sex drive is def higher now and hubby doesn't even look at me in "that way" because he's scared. I think a lot of guys think sex (even in a normal pregnancy) could hurt the baby or the idea of sex kinda messes with their head. So you're not alone!!!!
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  • rachswirachswi member
    My husband and I HAD to talk. We tried just letting things flow "naturally" but that led to frustration and hurt feelings on both parts.

    Talking about sex is one of the mos awkward things ever but it's sooooo rewarding. It took us having a 2 ½ hr car ride to get things out but our sex life improved massively since then
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  • japostolovajapostolova member
    Omg my husband gets weird when I'm pregnant. It's like he doesn't see me as a woman, just someone's mom and he stays away from me. It's annoying and I've tried explaining to him he has this issue.
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  • ashsue89ashsue89 member
    After 4 months of my husband telling me he just couldn't cuz he was worried he'd hurt the baby we finally had sex...only to have me get tired in the middle and we stopped. He kept asking "are you ok" which is a mood killer but at least he tried. We finished later just playing around (tmi)...but I read even if u can't or arnt ready to do it the old fashion way at least pleasure each other or just cuddle. It helps you stay close and intimate.
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