Thoughts on baby feeding -- on demand, schedules...

ilikestars089 · July 2015

There are so many kinds of feeding philosophies out there, what has worked for you if you are an experienced momma? If you are a first time mom, whether you are breast feeding, formula feeding, or a combination... Who has thought about (or has a preferred ideology) regarding when to feed your newborn? I'm reading "On Becoming Babywise" right now and would love to hear more thoughts and opinions on feeding schedules (or lack thereof).

SarahAnne1101 · July 2015

This will be my 3rd baby. I breastfed for exclusively for 4 months with DD(baby #1) then weaned to formula due to some allergy and supply issues. Fed on demand until 1st birthday. With DS, I exclusively breastfed for 18 months and he was fed on demand as well. Thinking we will be going with the same for this little guy. Don't know if we will nurse past a year though. Did with my son as he is immune compromised and has a lot of GI issues so he needed the antibodies, and I was scared to move him to cow's milk. I pumped and stored for him as well, so he had breastmilk until he was almost three.

amiejl · July 2015

I'm having #4. I've read Babywise and loosely followed the principles with my last two. At first, I just feed on demand, but as they get a few weeks old, I move to the eat wake sleep pattern. I also try to feed more frequently during the day to get a bit more sleep at night. It's still really, really important to know your baby's signals, though, so that when they're having a growth spurt, you can meet their needs. My schedule is also fairly loose, I'll run 30+ minutes on either side of the clock. Overall, it's been very helpful for me.

shomakerk · July 2015

I feed on demand (EBF). On demand is the best way to make sure you have an adequate supply for your baby.

Also, please research the book you're reading. It's been discredited by many professionals and organizations (failure to thrive).

hmhierholzer · July 2015

I am a FTM and plan to feed on demand for the first 4 weeks or so and then slowly transition to a schedule of every 2-4 hours depending on her needs. I personally don't identify completely with the parent led and baby led ideologies, so mine is a hybrid of both. Of course, once she is actually here we will adjust accordingly based on what works for our family

nbpa3027 · July 2015

I fed on demand, but my kids both kind of set their own schedule. It worked out to be more of a pattern that a timed schedule. I never made them wait if they were hungry, but it was rare that they would deviate from the "schedule" they created. They ended up wanting to eat ever 2.5-3 hours.

Kayleeandryan · July 2015

My son was born with jaundice so I had to put him on a breastfeeding schedule or else he would have slept through multiple feedings. As he got better he pretty much stuck to the same schedule. If he deviated from the schedule I wouldn't refuse him then he would end up just shifting his times and creating a new schedule.

BlueTopazBride · July 2015

I am a FTM, and plan on using the Babywise ideology. I have friends who have used it and swear by it. I know that some flexibility will be required, but I plan on focusing on a couple of things in the first few weeks 1) establishing the feed/wake/sleep pattern 2) getting full feedings in and 3) establishing a consistent first feeing time. The rest of the schedule will normalize, from what I have read and heard from friends.

ChariZae · July 2015

This is baby #3 for me. I prefer on demand feeding (ebf) and just watched for cues.

My first was an efficient nurser (usually 5 mins or so during feedings ), and would go every 2 hours during a day and 3-4 hours at night. I didn't ever wake her up to feed her at night and she ended up sleeping long stretches (4-5+ hours) around 3 mos. Had a similar experience with my second. By 4 mos. They could go 6 hours at night by just cluster feeding before bedtime.

FWIW, I nursed in the hospital everytime DDs looked like they were interested, which was sometimes every 45 mins or so, and for both my milk came in by the time I got home (day 2.5 or 3).

double2rouble · July 2015

I fed on demand with my daughter. We EBF her, and introduced solids at 6 months. At 14 months we night weaned her which lasted a whole month before she started to wake up again at night. We pretty much feed on demand until she was 18 months old, though the older she got the more I'd ask if she wanted a snack instead. After that point we only nursed in the morning and night, and finally only at night until we weaned her at 2. It worked well for us, but she also is a poor sleeper. No clue if the two were correlated, but it was nice to be able to calm her whenever.

SarahAnne1101 · July 2015

How did you get EBF babies to sleep like that???? DD was every 3 round the clock until we weaned to fomula then she went to every three with a 6 hour stretch at night. DS was every 2 hours round the clock until about 11 months and then every 3 until we stopped nursing at 18 months....

ElleMF728 · July 2015

I feed on demand. New babies need to eat, they have tiny tummies that can only hold so much. I absolutely hate the idea of trying to "schedule" a newborn who literally depends on me for everything.

I encourage anyone and everyone to read and educate themselves about the fourth trimester. The first few months are all about survival and helping our new babes adjust to this big, scary new world.

princesslockness · July 2015

ElleMF728 said:
I feed on demand. New babies need to eat, they have tiny tummies that can only hold so much. I absolutely hate the idea of trying to "schedule" a newborn who literally depends on me for everything.

I encourage anyone and everyone to read and educate themselves about the fourth trimester. The first few months are all about survival and helping our new babes adjust to this big, scary new world.

You can hate the idea of scheduling a NB all you want, but for some parents it is not negotiable. I have 2 weeks from when baby gets here til I have to be back at work. I have to have a set pumping schedule, or I don't get to pump at work. Baby will be on a schedule by the time I go back to work, or will have to be on formula full time.
It's not ideal, but it's what has to happen. Babies will/can set their own schedule, and they typically stick to it +\-30 min. Helping to set that earlier than 1-2 months isn't the worst thing that can happen as long as baby is adequately fed, sleeps enough and is receiving proper care.

Cupcakesandquilts · July 2015

I don't like the idea of trying to put a newborn on a schedule. We didn't do too much of that until about 6 months with our daughter. My life was crazy during that time but I didn't feel it was a time to make things about me.

Telebell · July 2015

We exclusively ff on demand with our daughter and will probably do the same this time around. I don't remember much about her first months! She started sleeping long stretches around 3 and STTN at 4 months. I wouldn't say we put her on a schedule, but we started a bedtime routine immediately: bath, bottle, book and bed. She's on that til this day and it helped us all organize our time. I think it helped make her a good sleeper.

We never woke her up to feed her either even though she was really little to start, under 6 lbs (I never woke her up for ANY reason)

ChariZae · July 2015

SarahAnne1101 said:
How did you get EBF babies to sleep like that???? DD was every 3 round the clock until we weaned to fomula then she went to every three with a 6 hour stretch at night. DS was every 2 hours round the clock until about 11 months and then every 3 until we stopped nursing at 18 months....

I think not waking at night to feed helped. Their Pediatrician was horrified when I told her at night they would go long stretches, but they both gained weight well. My lactation consultant told me to trust that if they were hungry, they would let me know, and that they would compensate for the "missed feedings" either before or after.

millette2015 · July 2015

I think this is one of those issues that everyone has extremely different opinions on, and that sometimes has to change as you navigate life with your baby. The important part, though, is that your baby is eating and growing - whether that is on a schedule or on demand. I think it's easy to lose sight of that as we get caught up on which theoretical approach we are going to use, etc. At least it is for me. I spend so much time reading and researching these things, and it can be hard to be flexible about it and see the bigger picture.

I hope to feed on demand, as my lifestyle allows for it, but I completely understand why you'd be pushing for a schedule rather than waiting for your baby to make it's own schedule @Kate08Young !

MauKa23 · July 2015

Baby wise is scary to me (and numerous professionals). I fed my first on demand, but swear by the Baby Whisperer book -- she got me through colic more than anything else. Think the main thing is just getting to know your baby and their cries and not jumping to feed at the first noise. Try cuddling, changing, checking temperature, etc. first... Then if it's about on pattern, go to the feed. Check Baby Whisperer out. I swear, that woman was a genius

LiveNLove44 · July 2015

I did what came naturally, and that was feeding DD on demand (EBF). She developed a schedule quickly, so I'm not sure if people can say that "on demand" = no routine/schedule. She was a great sleeper and still is, but they also go through growth spurts where they need more sustenance at more frequent intervals. I think the need for flexibility in either case is important.

@Kate08Young, I definitely understand what you're saying. I needed to have a set schedule for pumping when I returned to work, too. I can't remember if this is your first or not, but I just wanted to mention that your body's schedule can adapt when you need to shift for work pumping. You might find that your baby develops his/her own schedule without you needing to create it.

I am happy to hear all of the women who are doing what they know is best for them. I definitely encourage people to keep reading and engaging in conversations about it so they can feel ready.

komorebi · July 2015

I had supply problems and tongue tied babies. I fed round the clock initially and always on demand. Eventually it evened out and they found a schedule. I don't mind on demand feeding at all.

sweet+cheeks · July 2015

We breast fed on demand until I went back to work at 3 months. By that time DD had settled into her own pattern which DH followed when bottle feeding pumped milk. I really encourage FTM to learn their baby's cues. It is a relationship just like any other and communication is really important. It can be frustrating and scary at first to try to figure out what they need. But in time you will learn your baby's cues.

kaza512 · July 2015

The hospital where I work is baby friendly (a certification that heavily supports breastfeeding) It is understandable to want to get on a schedule if you have to go back to work, but you have to know that every baby is different. Some are malleable to a parent's schedule and some aren't. And you cannot control growth spurts that will cause a breastfed baby to wake up a few extra times in the middle of the night. The best way to establish successful breastfeeding (latch, supply, etc) is to feed on demand. I would encourage people who consider Babywise to hold off on trying to enforce a schedule until everything is established. While most professionals don't support Babywise (myself included), I can see some nuggets of good practice in there, such as letting babies learn to fall asleep on their own (not always being rocked to sleep, etc). My advice if you are serious about exclusively breastfeeding is to start off feeding on demand (and no supplementation unless the pediatrician says to), then gradually switch to trying a schedule knowing that you may have to supplement and that not all babies are as flexible. If you aren't concerned about exclusively breastfeeding, then it isn't as big a deal, but the baby still may not cooperate with your schedule, so you need to be prepared for that too and have a plan to reduce your frustration!

leighann1 · July 2015

I had not heard of this book until this thread, but this is what the American Association of Pediatric says about it:

'Babywise' advice linked to dehydration, failure to thrive'

https://aapnews.aappublications.org/content/14/4/21.abstract

I will be steering clear of that and feeding on demand.

evelyn2003 · July 2015

I'm a FTM and I feed her on demand but she has a pattern that I follow.

Lbloom · July 2015

I stay at home and my daughter was exclusively breastfed on demand for the first six months and then we started table food and used baby-led weaning. I haven't pushed weaning though and she nursed on demand until she was a year old and though we have used extended nursing into toddler-hood, I stopped nursing her away from the house somewhere between 12 and 18 months. It is what has worked for us.

curfam4 · July 2015

I know I am in the minority here, but I am a firm believer in schedules. DD was so happy and content once I had a solid schedule in place, and I loved being able to plan my day and know what to expect when. Now, this is not to say I wouldn't veer from that and if she needed something outside of her "regular" time, she would get it, but honestly, the schedule was the way to go for us. I will do the same with this baby.

ElleMF728 · July 2015

Kate08Young said:

I feed on demand. New babies need to eat, they have tiny tummies that can only hold so much. I absolutely hate the idea of trying to "schedule" a newborn who literally depends on me for everything.

I encourage anyone and everyone to read and educate themselves about the fourth trimester. The first few months are all about survival and helping our new babes adjust to this big, scary new world.
You can hate the idea of scheduling a NB all you want, but for some parents it is not negotiable. I have 2 weeks from when baby gets here til I have to be back at work. I have to have a set pumping schedule, or I don't get to pump at work. Baby will be on a schedule by the time I go back to work, or will have to be on formula full time. It's not ideal, but it's what has to happen. Babies will/can set their own schedule, and they typically stick to it +\-30 min. Helping to set that earlier than 1-2 months isn't the worst thing that can happen as long as baby is adequately fed, sleeps enough and is receiving proper care.

I think yours is an unusual case, 2 weeks is not a lot of time and obviously you don't really have a choice but to make it work. However, it was not my experience that DS set or stuck to his own schedule, I'm sure some babies do, maybe he was a bit more high maintenance than most.

I understand what you are saying and your circumstances are different from my own which will give us different views. My own experience was that trying to schedule DS until he was developmentally ready drove me completely crazy. My life literally revolved around his schedule for 7 months straight. I tried everything, I read everything, you name it, I did it. I wrote down every feed, time, how long and how much, I wrote down every nap, how long, where and how he slept (I seriously still have these logs). I did these things because I was so desperate to get him on a schedule. When I had him my husband was working and living OOT Sun-Fri and I was finishing up my engineering degree. A schedule would have made my life a lot easier but it just wasn't in the cards for me.

I did wake to sleep, drowsy but awake, swaddles, white noise, dream feeds, I stuck religiously to wake windows and sleep signals around the clock, a billion and one different methods that the experts encourage. I refused to leave the house many times because he might have fallen asleep in the car which would throw off whatever schedule I was trying to work at that time. Until one day I just said "screw it" I fed him when he was hungry, I put him to sleep when he was tired and eventually...when he was ready, he put himself on a schedule that worked for him and he still is. In the meantime however, I was much more relaxed and he was much less fussy. Now he is an amazing sleeper, amazing napper and amazing eater but that certainly wasn't always the case.

I said what I said not to discourage anyone, but because trying to schedule my 7 week old made me absolutely miserable and it made him miserable as well. Some babies come home from the hospital waking once a night and eating every 3 hours on the dot, mine did not and that's okay too. Do I hope this one is a bit easier? Yes please! But I'm not going to put myself through that stress and craziness again if he isn't.

midge519 · July 2015

I fed on demand with both of my kids and intend to this time around. My son was breast and formula for the first 3.5 weeks. And once he went to all formula he was the happiest baby ever. He slept so much better (more than an hour at a time) and put himself in a routine. My daughter out herself in a routine the day we came home from the hospital. I breastfed her on demand until a year old and then weaned to just morning, before nap, after nap, and bed time. At 18 months we weaned to just morning and bed. At 23 months I stopped asking her if she wanted it and she self weaned by her second birthday.

lofin · July 2015

I breastfed on demand for a year, then night weaned then slowly weaned until he was 21 months. As they get older, distractions and offering other food helps. Personally, as an infant before 12 months, I think a set schedule is tough- with growth spurts, teething, developmental leaps, etc, it's tough to deny them food without them having really any other option to help themselves. After 12, solids, water, independent play, more self confidence and independence develops. Obviously, different methods work for different families. When baby is here, go with your gut and your isntincts. They won't steer you wrong!

Raijapatterson · July 2015

I have done it both ways. With my twins I used scheduling and "baby wise". Years later with DD I fed on demand and had very little scheduling. Let me tell you, having twins on a schedule was easier than one not on a schedule. I will definitely be going back to that way of doing things. My 3 year old DD still doesn't sleep through the night most of the time. Never again for me! I love all of my children, but I also know I was happier and healthier when I could predict what was going to happen from hour to hour. And at 38 I will need the extra help of predictability again! Good luck to you in whatever you choose.

mkross123 · July 2015

I am reading Babywise now. I think the issues come when people are stupid enough to think you should ignore a hungry baby if it isn't the predetermined time. The book seems pretty reasonable for someone with common sense to followe a schedule, while learning your child's cues and adjusting as needed. Think of the people whose babies suffered on it being the type of people who would follow a fire escape route even if the flames were in the route, just because the sign said to.

With that said, I was totally planning to do on demand BF since that seems to be the current thing to do, but found out I am having twins. It has totally changed EVERYTHING. There seems to be no sources for parents of multiples suggesting on demand feeding because, due to complete lack of sleep, you would lose your mind and your supply would be compromised. I have had to switch from "my baby will decide its own schedule and we'll adapt to nurture he/she" to "if we don't schedule these kiddos the moment they come home we will end up in an asylum and they will be orphans."

This whole pregnancy has been an interesting experience since I spent half of it thinking it was one situation, and then had it change suddenly. I feel fortunate to be learning the "You cannot plan ANYTHING, and your best laid intentions could go out the window" in advance instead of when a baby is born. Make good plans mamas, and go with the flow (no pun intended.) The fact that we are all on here reading people's thoughts and planning for our kids means we are good parents already!

amorrison624 · July 2015

@mkross123 I'm with you 100% on the twin schedule. I have a few friends who have twins and they swear they would be crazy if they hadn't implemented a schedule from the beginning. Obviously if a baby is hungry off schedule, they will be fed. Like you said, there is no way that you can BF on demand with 2. That's all you'd be doing all day everyday. Having 2 on the same schedule will make twin parenting a little easier!

Want a personalized experience?

Thoughts on baby feeding -- on demand, schedules...

Re: Thoughts on baby feeding -- on demand, schedules...

'Babywise' advice linked to dehydration, failure to thrive'

Choose Another Board

Search Boards