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October 2015 Moms
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Meeting the Baby?

SarahAnne1101SarahAnne1101 member
in October 2015 Moms
I know we have all been discussing our policy for visitors, esp at the hospital, with our new babies. I have a particular situation that is concerning me. I have had a very high risk pregnancy, and as such have decided no visitors during labor. We are going to call immediate family when I am in labor, and then will let them know when baby arrives. We will accepto ur two older babies,  my parents, grandparents and MIL/FIL at hospital. Possibly my SILs as well. After the baby comes homes, we have other family and close friends and church family that are all wanting to meet baby. My concern is twofold - resting and recovering and getting to know baby AND baby's health.  DS is immune compromised due to a genetic condition. We know that it is possible that baby will also have this condition, and we can't test him for it until he is 6 months old. So we have to be very careful with crowds, exposure etc.The protocol for DS and new baby is much like that of very preemie babies.  With baby being due at the beginning of cold, flu and RSV season, I am even more worried. People keep asking about a sip and see or just visiting in general, and I'm getting a lot of push back, especially from DH's side. This is my second marriage, will have been married a year in September. So they weren't around for DS's first 2 years and don't understand how severe and deadly this disorder can be as they weren't there for the worst of it before his diagnosis.I almost lost him several times becayse of this.  I don't know how to make them understnad that we want them involved with the kids and to meet baby, but only in a safe manner. I'm being called overproctective, ridiculous and other things. I don't want to ban his family from seeing the baby, but I have to keep BOTH of my babies safe....
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Re: Meeting the Baby?

  • FrozenMommyFrozenMommy member
    edited July 2015
    If people can't understand that you can't or don't want them around for the health of your tiny little human, then they aren't people you need to have in your life! Yes, a baby is new and exciting, but people don't always know when they are sick. I saw a newborn, serious must have been 2 days old, at the MALL yesterday! His mom had him in a carrier thing all slouched over, insane! I love babies, but there is no reason you need to see it in person when it's a few days old. It can't see you yet! Tell them you would prefer waiting a few weeks, until you are recovered, and the baby has a chance to grow and gain some defenses. It's your child, you are it's protector, you need to do what's best for him. 
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  • SarahAnne1101SarahAnne1101 member
    Basically baby shouldn't have much contact with the outside world for the first six months until we know if he has the same disorder. The grandparents have all been updated on vaccines because of DS, got pertussis vaccine this week, and will receive flu shot in September as soon as it's available. Also, none of them are around small kids other than mine. My mom has a cleaning service, and won't even clean for homes where someone has been sick within two weeks, and won't clean for anyone with kids under 6 during cold and flu season. The extended family won't have followed all that, so I don't want them around. They showed up unannounced a few times last winter and I wouldn't open the door. Same when they showed up to visit at the hospital early in the pregnancy... 
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  • mandy903mandy903 member
    When it comes to my kids I don't worry about pissing people off. I wish for your sake they understood where you were coming from. It's a difficult situation but just tell them like you told us. It can be life threatening. This is not your typical new baby situation. You have to do whatever you feel is right to protect those little ones. Maybe send out a birth announcement email and let them know you plan on introducing baby via skype for his/ her protection and you know everyone is excited to meet him. .. And you are thankful... Maybe? I've never been in your shoes. Or have them glove and mask up to come visit but no holding baby? Just my thoughts. ..
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  • FrozenMommyFrozenMommy member
    Yup, that's all you can do then. If they get mad, so be it! I cannot believe they would just show up at your door after being turned away at the hospital. Quite frankly, even though my kids have decent immune systems, I just want to be left alone for a week or so after. I know I will have a C section again, hopefully my son won't end up in NICU like my second did, we were there for a week. I didn't really like family members going in the NICU around other peoples children, and this time I won't allow it at all. 
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  • FrozenMommyFrozenMommy member
    OMG LOL! I just about spit out my food at that!
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  • RainNFyreRainNFyre member
    There's nothing wrong with screening visitors (and then providing hand sanitizer and masks for the healthy ones after you've turned away the questionables!). Also, it would be great to label them "questionable" for your own entertainment purposes.
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  • CCasey2015CCasey2015 member
    SarahAnne1101 said:

    Lost it a little trying to explain it to an aunt today. I told her she was more than welcome to show up if she felt like it but she wasn't coming in. I told her I would hold the baby up in the window old school nursery style. Haha


    It's crazy how people think they can just tell you what they are going to do at your house with YOUR CHILD!
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