Tacky or not: Sending birth annoucements and Thank Yous jointly

laurenashleyy · July 2015

Hi guys!

So my baby shower is this weekend... and between 40 hours at work, 15 hours at school and 3-4 doctors appointments a week for this little one, I am not sure I am ever going to have a second to sit down and write out thank you notes.

Is it considered rude or tacky to hold off until the little one is here? I already have my annoucement picked out, all I need to do is throw in a photo of the little guy and send them along!

What do you ladies think? Is 6-8 weeks too long for thank yous?

WDDCH · July 2015

I like saving trees and money and time... So I wouldn't think twice if someone sent me a joint thank you and announcement.

laurenashleyy · July 2015

@WDDCH

I feel the same way... Stamps are expensive and with nearly 100 people attending the shower, that's a lot of paper!

p.s. Our kiddos are due 2 days apart!

cait040415 · July 2015

Do it! Most thank you notes are thrown in the trash anyways, at least yours will avoid the same fate by having a cutie baby on them

I read when I did my thank you notes for the wedding, 2 months is the optimum etiquette window. Needless to say, I didn't quite make it. But no one said a word and I don't think anyone would in your case either!

rachelkawesome · July 2015

I think it's okay, as long as you write a personal note as the thank-you for the specific gift along with the pre-printed announcement - is that what you were planning? I think it would be tacky to just have a printed "Thanks for the shower gift" on the announcement, because it's not personal at all and I would feel that you didn't take the time to thank me properly. But thank you note written on the announcement works for me!

WDDCH · July 2015

Ah yes what @rachelkawesome said is what I was envisioning. I assume you'd be writing a personal thank you on the back. A general typed out "thanks" might be tacky, especially if someone didn't send a gift lol!

thinkpink101 · July 2015

That seems like a long time to wait... Even if you are due beginning of Sep there's no guarantee you'll have the baby on your due date, then a couple of days in the hospital, taking the picture (which I know we ended up waiting a week or two on each time because of newborn rash etc.) Could easily be 10+ weeks before you actually get the thank yous in the mail. It really doesn't take that long to write them. I wrote all my thank you notes in a couple of hours and had them in the mail the Monday after my shower... Bring them to your doctors appointments and write them in the waiting room

KCwalza146 · July 2015

I'd say it's ok as long as you include a handwritten note on it thanking the person for the specific gift they gave you. A generic printed "thank you" sent to everyone is rude IMO.

FinalyFound · July 2015

I'm with @thinkpink101 on this one. I think they should go separately. Once baby is here your going to be really busy (and tired) and the last thing your going to want to do is send out TY cards. You also don't want to wait too long to send TYs. Birth announcements on the otherhand can wait a few weeks after baby is born and things have settled down.

eah325 · July 2015

I'm all for the two-fer concept but I will send separate thank you notes. My combo will be making my holiday card my birth announcement as well. I'm doing it that way so that I'll have my professional newborn photos back. I'll send shortly after Thanksgiving but I'm also due in late September (and doctor thinks I could go into early October).

I agree with previous posters who said a thank you should be a separate thing. I received a gift today in the mail and already have the thank you note written and ready to mail. I don't think postage is too expensive in comparison to the gift I have received.

LoveLee85 · July 2015

I'm not going to wait! lol our Christmas card is going to kind of double as a baby announcement!

GeorgiaDottie · July 2015

I believe they should be separate. 6-8w is too long to wait and baby is here you're not going to have time to write/address/mail

petalstar · July 2015

Nope. I'm not having a shower so thank you after birth it is. Also, cut yourself some slack.

LoveLee85 · July 2015

I'm not sure if it applies to you but I'm having my partner aka DH help me with thank you cards! It's his baby, too! lol I had him write some thank you cards for our wedding. Mostly to his childhood friends or extended family I didn't know personally.

ReneeJ2011 · July 2015

Rhill30 said:
You know what can maybe save you time- is having the guests write their names/addresses on the envelopes and use that for a raffle or prizes or something at the shower. That way at least everyone's address is written out for you and all you have to do is write the actual thank you on the card

We are doing this at my shower. The addressing is the most tedious part for me and this way I know they will all be correct.

nflan16 · July 2015

I don't think it's tacky as long as you send a personalized note, but keep in mind that you could get additional gifts or meals brought to you after the baby is born, so that will add to the list of people you will be sending thank yous to. I know with a newborn, writing notes for the gifts/meals I got after my son was born was time consuming and hard to keep track of, so I can only imagine writing ones for everyone at the shower at the same time. Just a thought!

J0C0TX · July 2015

A thing I do for addresses now is I keep them on the pc in a word doc format suitable for clear address labels. Works wonders for Christmas and baby announcements

Mufflerlove · July 2015

I don't have a problem with it but if they're not already written you will not be taking the time to finish them with a new baby (IMO). I know I wouldn't have with baby 1.

joannerows · July 2015

I like the idea of doing the birth announcement with a Christmas card. I agree that it's too long to wait to send ty with the birth announcement and that you won't want to spend that time writing ty cards anyway. I print my addresses on labels and that saves a ton of time! Office max should have them and there are specialized websites for creating really cute labels.

tpete12 · July 2015

I would just wait and sent them together. If there is one gift that really stands out, or one important person there, I would send them a thank you before the announcement. Like someone else said, most thank you notes get chucked, but most birth announcements get kept. It is all up to you and if someone doesn't like it - tough cookies!

paytongoodell · July 2015

If you know you are totally committed to sending out birth announcements, I would combine them. You can always add a line that says something along the lines of we are so grateful for all the love we have already received. And you could add a little personalized note on the back thanking ppl for gifts, or get cute stationary to out the note in in the envelope. Good luck!

FinalyFound · July 2015

tpete12 said:

I would just wait and sent them together. If there is one gift that really stands out, or one important person there, I would send them a thank you before the announcement. Like someone else said, most thank you notes get chucked, but most birth announcements get kept. It is all up to you and if someone doesn't like it - tough cookies!

Shouldn't all your guests be important? I mean that's why theyre invited to the baby shower in the first place right? Because they mean something to you? And tough cookies, seriously?

wassuphoes · July 2015

I think 6 to 8 weeks is too long for thank yous.

And besides, personally I find the longer I wait to do something, the less likely it is to get done.
make a goal of doing 2 to 5 a day and you'll get them done in no time.

nikkij9 · July 2015

My shower is less than a month before my baby is due and I'm probably going to do the same thing.

kaylarenae3 · July 2015

Am I the only person here who hates thank you cards and doesn't want to send them??? I even hate when people send them to me. Cause I just throw them away! They seem pointless to me. If I didn't attend your shower but I sent a gift, then that's fine. But if I was there and watched you open it, please don't. Lol.

PreggersinParis · July 2015

kaylarenae3 said:
Am I the only person here who hates thank you cards and doesn't want to send them??? I even hate when people send them to me. Cause I just throw them away! They seem pointless to me. If I didn't attend your shower but I sent a gift, then that's fine. But if I was there and watched you open it, please don't. Lol.

Really? You hate receiving them? I didn't think that could even be possible, especially with all of the pretty cards that are available!

Call me old fashioned but there is something I find so elegant about sending and receiving a hand written thank you note, especially since writing letters has become a lost art!

It never occurred to me that it would be a chore to send them (I come from the school that gifts are not owed) but receiving them is a nuisance too? That seems sad but I guess I'm just dating myself here!

laurenashleyy · July 2015

I think my main issue is: I cannot find a cute thank you card anywhere... They're all gawdy or completely overpriced. I had made my invitations and printed them myself, but they took FOREVER to cut out.

I've tried amazon, target and walmart and their "bulk" selection have all been too girly for a jungle themed shower.

If I send the thank yous, I'm probably going to forgo an announcement as I can't really afford both costs... I guess I just want to show off my little dude!

wassuphoes · July 2015

kaylarenae3 said:

Am I the only person here who hates thank you cards and doesn't want to send them??? I even hate when people send them to me. Cause I just throw them away! They seem pointless to me. If I didn't attend your shower but I sent a gift, then that's fine. But if I was there and watched you open it, please don't. Lol.

I'm not sentimental, I don't keep cards my husband gives me (we've finally stopped doing cards for EVERY holiday) I don't keep thank you's either.

But I appreciate them, even though I don't keep them, I appreciate the time and effort that someone has gone trough to let me know that they are grateful for my gift.

I didn't send thank you's for my high school graduation party. Years later, when planning my wedding and reading about selfish brides who didn't send thank yous, I felt like such an asshole. I was ashamed at how self-centered 18 year old me was that I couldn't take a couple minutes to send a thank you to my family for their support. The thought of my grandma thinking I didn't appreciate her gift was awkward and painful.

So yeah, it can be annoying to sit down and write a bunch of thank you notes, but part of being an adult is doing things that are annoying and not fun because it's the right thing to do.

Please send thank you notes. Don't be pain in the ass 18 year old me.

squigles28 · July 2015

@laurenashleyy My friend ordered thank yous to match my invites. Maybe you could see if there were any go match?

puddinpop95 · July 2015

I think you just decided how I'm going to send out my thank yous and announcements haba since the shower is usually toward the end of the pregnancy it makes sooooooooo much sense to do It this way

victoriah1516 · July 2015

I agree that they should be separate - mainly because of the amount of time between your shower and when your birth announcements are likely to be done. I too work 40 hours/week and have an additional side business so what I have been doing is writing thank you notes as soon as I receive any gifts in the mail. For the showers, I'm just going to carve out time on the weekend after and knock them out. It's a pain in the butt to do (and after our wedding shower I was at least able to cope with it by having a glass of wine while I wrote - but not now!! lol!) but your guests are putting time and money into coming to the shower and you don't want them to think you didn't appreciate it (even though you obviously do)

CanadaMom17 · July 2015

Pre-write them, as much as possible now, a few a day. "Dear _____, Thank you so much for the thoughtful gift. We will really appreciate __________/I can't wait to use ________________/The gift card will be so useful to buy the things the baby needs/The outfits are adorable, etc. Thank you for coming to celebrate baby ______ with me at my shower.

I tried to pre-write a few of each 'type' - for clothes, gift cards, etc.

Obviously some you can write more than others, but even having a little of each one done ahead made finishing them after the showers much faster. I did mine up the evenings after them.

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Tacky or not: Sending birth annoucements and Thank Yous jointly

Justin Kyle

Re: Tacky or not: Sending birth annoucements and Thank Yous jointly

Justin Kyle

Justin Kyle

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