Help! When to tell the kids?

catieison · July 2015

Hi! I'm already mom to a 7 yr old daughter and have an 8 yr old step daughter that we see two weekends a month.

I'm 10w 5d and we've told my parents and siblings, along with a few of my closest friends but won't be seeinng his parents to tell them until the weekend after next. Which I think is prefect because we have an ultrasound next week and it will mark the end of the first trimester. We have not told the girls yet though. We wanted to wait until the second trimester to announce to the world, but when do you all suggest we tell the kids?

Also, is it wrong of me to want to tell them separately? My daughter is with me full time and I feel like she deserves the one on one announcement.

Francookie · July 2015

My kid is almost 4 and we told her around 10 weeks too. If other people know then I think your kids deserve to know. You can wait a week until you are in second tri if you want but I would not wait much longer! Also, no prob if you want to tell them separately of course, but don't put a big time gap between, that would be weird.

kmcc14 · July 2015

My step-kids are 6 and 9. We are telling them this weekend. I will be 12 weeks on Saturday. I agree that it's fine to tell your daughter and step-daughter separately, but to not leave a big time gap. You want your SD to hear it from you and your SO.

mamaksweez · July 2015

I don't think it's wrong at all to want to tell them separately!
The best advice I can give you is wait until 12 weeks, just because I think it would be SO hard to have to explain if anything horrible happens (it won't, but just to be on the safe side.) We told our families around 10-11 weeks but waited to tell the nieces and nephews until after 12 weeks.
I did however tell my daughter the day I had a positive test (4wks). She was 11 months at the time, so she has no idea... I'll be 14wks in 2 days and now she touches my tummy and says "baby" but I'm pretty sure she still is too young to really get it.

rah938 · July 2015

I'm 11 weeks 3 days with twins and just told our boys this past weekend about the babies. I was afraid because there is a higher chance of something going wrong with twins, but then I decided to just finally be happy and share the good news.

Krhayes777 · July 2015

I'm 10w1 and I have a stepdaughter that's 16 and a stepson that's 15-my husband and I told them on Father's Day. I made a special gift for them to give the new baby and wrapped it then put a little note to them on the outside. It was a special way to tell them and make them feel included- no one else in our family knows yet as we are waiting to tell everyone at 12 weeks. Just knowing it would be an adjustment for them-we wanted them to know as soon as I had my ultrasound so they could get used to the idea before the flurry of people talking to them about it. I agree no worries about having separate conversations as long as they're not far apart in time. So glad to know that we're far from the only ones with this scenario! Good luck!

catieison · July 2015

Thanks ladies!

MommaB16 · July 2015

My 2 step kids are 13 and 10, and I'm 11w3d. I have another appointment next week, and on Wednesday I'll be 12 weeks. Since that seems to be the magic number then we plan to tell my hubs parents and my parents either wed, thurs, or Fri. When we get the kids this next weekend we plan to tell them. I had no intention of telling them before 12 weeks, but once family knows I don't see any reason to wait any longer. In fact, wearing big t shirts around our non-air conditioned house 1/2 the time (when we have) has been super hard. I just wanna let my Blump hang out! One more week, I can do this

I will add that my step kids point blank asked my husband if I was pregnant at 9w3d. I was inside so they didn't ask me, but when my hubs told me I was mortified.... 3 more weeks of hiding it?! And they knnnnooowwww. We only have them 1/2 the time, they've only seen half of me trying to hide tiredness and sickness and lack of appetite for most foods! My hubs joked and said no she's not, the stork has brought a baby yet 8) they're older, they understand more, but they thought that was funny. I was not comfortable with them knowing that early so I'm glad he came up with something.
In regards to telling your daughters. My thoughts are, if your daughter and step daughter are close with each other I would want to tell them at the same time. To share their excitement with you and with each other will be a beautiful and exciting moment. Also, it could honestly hurt your step daughters feelings if your daughter says something like "I knew 2 weeks ago!" (We all love our little girls, but they like to spout out just about anything!) If your step daughter isn't close with your daughter, and isn't really close with your family due to your personal situation then, if it were me I'd tell them separately. But if it's a different scenario, together. GOODLUCK!

SarahGallo · July 2015

I'm so glad to see many of these responses involving stepchildren. I have two teenage stepsons so we are struggling with how and when to tell them. I love your idea of the gift for them. Do you mind if I ask what it was or the gist of it? I think we will borrow your idea and probably tell them next weekend (I'll be 13 wks). Thank you!!

mm10987 · July 2015

We told my son the day after my 12 week apointnent -he is 7

Help! When to tell the kids?

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