Rant about Living with a brand new puppy

blackgirlmagic · July 2015

So I will not be able to take my temp this morning which is very frustrating! FF predicts that I'm suppose to O early next week and I wanted to make sure that my numbers are solid since this will be my first cycle temping.
Let me back up and state that this puppy is supposed to be my husbands responsibility. I told him that I was not going to do anything with the puppy at night and he said ok, that's fair! Who has let the dog out 2/3 times tonight and who is currently watching tv on the sofa because the dog is more comfortable being in the living room than up in the bedroom. Oh and to top it all of her said "can you please let me him. You get to telework tomorrow and my job is more important than your".

Ladies with puppies or babies/toddlers how do you handle this?

HarryPotterandCats · July 2015

From the day we got our dog (who is now almost a year and a half) he was crated in the living room. He had a dog bed in his crate. I dont believe in any of this, he needs to go out at night. It gets them into an unessacary routine. He can hold it.

He would whine a bit here and there the first couple nights because he was lonely but that stopped after a couple days.

Maybe take him to a dog park or a really long walk in the evening and wear him out.

Personally, i would wake DHs ass up if none of this works for you. Or get some ear plugs. You can also put a bkanket over his crate so he knows its bedtime.

Edited to add words

Daybird11Six · July 2015

We adopted our lab mix about a year ago. Within a few days he knew how to use the doggy door and absolutely loved using it. My sleep was disrupted for *maybe* two weeks tops bc he had worms (which my vet advised against crating until they were gone) and came from a crap situation that caused him to have anxiety. We helped his anxiety issue by sleeping on the floor with him that first week. Sounds crazy, but it worked for us. Puppyhood doesn't last forever. It'll get better. Snuggle 'em while they're small.

Edited to add: he was about 7 or 8 weeks old when we got him

lalalorelai · July 2015

I have three dogs and two of them we adopted as puppies. One was super easy to crate train and potty train, the other had more problems because she came with worms (so like, AshleyD917, we couldn't be as strict with crating her).

You don't say whether you crate train. I HIGHLY recommend it. Despite what some people feel, it's not cruel. It's actually comforting for the dog to have his or her "place". First and foremost, your puppy needs a routine. Take him or her out on a regular schedule. The rule of thumb is that the dog can be without a potty break for the number of hours as months they are plus one. So if they're two months, they can go 3 hours. Three months, four hours. And so on. My Benni was good from the beginning (at 12 weeks) if I took her out right when before I went to bed and then she would only wake me up kinda early. Buffy, though, would routinely mess in her crate because of the worms so we would take turns waking up in the night to take her out several times to prevent an accident. It only lasted a couple of weeks though.

Plenty of exercise and playtime will also help the puppy settle down. Make sure he or she has age appropriate toys that stimulate the mind as well as the chewing instinct. And stop doing everything to accommodate the dog! Dogs are adaptable and just want human companionship. It doesn't matter if the puppy is "more comfortable" in the living room. If you decide you want the dog in the bedroom, that's where the dog goes. And I think you and your DH need to get on the same page with this. I know dogs and babies aren't the same thing, but if you can't agree on a way to take care of your puppy that accommodates both of you, how in the world will you do it with a human??

This is coming from someone who 100% treats her dogs like her children. Just don't let the dog sleep in the bed. That's the worst mistake I ever made.

styler91 · July 2015

Crate him or her (the dog, not the hubby) at night, so they know it is bedtime, and there is no more "going out" to pee after bedtime... he/she can hold it until morning... or at least train them to hold their bladder until morning.

We did this with our dog, so now that she is 4 years old, we don't have to use the crate anymore and she knows that she doesn't go out until 7am, once we are in bed. Its nice, except when you want to sleep in, and you have a dog waiting to go out at 7am... and starts to paw the bed if you don't get up... haha.

Always keep a puppy pad in the crate at first, just in case of accidents.. you dont want to get mad at the poor thing, becuase it can't hold its bladder at first... just a tip.

Remember to not let the dog rule you - you rule the dog. Dogs are pack anaimals, and you need to teach it that it is not the leader... you are.

JLaVO888 · July 2015

Dido on the crate training. One of our dogs LOVES her crate. She will hang out in there when I do laundry (crate is in the laundry room next the back door-great for letting them out to use bathroom or in when its muddy). Also we can say 'kennel" from any room in the house and both dogs go strait to the crate and get it (great for so many reasons). They also know our routines so well, when its their regular time to get in the crate they get in automatically without being told.

lalalorelai · July 2015

JLaVO888 said:

Dido on the crate training. One of our dogs LOVES her crate. She will hang out in there when I do laundry (crate is in the laundry room next the back door-great for letting them out to use bathroom or in when its muddy). Also we can say 'kennel" from any room in the house and both dogs go strait to the crate and get it (great for so many reasons). They also know our routines so well, when its their regular time to get in the crate they get in automatically without being told.

We say "go to your home". It's so useful - if we have guests coming over they're not used to and the dogs are getting rowdy, all we have to do is say "go to your home" and our two younger dogs will slink off to the kitchen. Our oldest dog thinks she's the HBIC though so she gets free rein of the house. Again, one of those things I would change if I could go back to when she was a puppy.

And ditto to knowing the routine. Our dogs know that once we're putting our shoes on, it's time to go to the kitchen. Only downside is they know when it's bedtime. All three will line up and stare at me once it hits 10 PM if I'm still awake (I go to bed before H). It would be funny if it weren't so creepy.

Everycol0r · July 2015

Crate training is great. It doesn't just protect your things from puppy teeth, it also protects puppy from getting into dangerous things that can hurt them. It's a great tool & should be utilized. Our dog's crate is in our bedroom. She'd be fine anywhere in the house now but when she was a baby, putting her in a different room caused her to cry. She was quiet when we moved the crate in our room. Also, make sure you block off the crate so they don't make a habit of peeing and pooping in it.

wanderingtx · July 2015

Yes to crate training!

https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/weekend-crate-training

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post this, but we used this guide when we trained our pup. She had some behavioral issues, we adopted her at 16 weeks, and she had never pottied outside, ever. She was in a bad situation. It took a few whiney nights, but I'd say a week tops and she was sleeping through the night. I also believe they don't need to be let out as much at night (aside from any medical reasons like a UTI or worms). While they're sleeping their little bodies slow down and they can go longer. It's so important to make their crate a happy place, she willingly hangs out in there when we are home, and willingly kennels when we give her a command. She's now a year old and only crated while we are at work, she has free range of our bedroom at night.

Sorry that this is messing with your temps! Hopefully it will be an easy fix, and then back to business for you!

JLaVO888 · July 2015

lalalorelai said:

JLaVO888 said:

Dido on the crate training. One of our dogs LOVES her crate. She will hang out in there when I do laundry (crate is in the laundry room next the back door-great for letting them out to use bathroom or in when its muddy). Also we can say 'kennel" from any room in the house and both dogs go strait to the crate and get it (great for so many reasons). They also know our routines so well, when its their regular time to get in the crate they get in automatically without being told.

We say "go to your home". It's so useful - if we have guests coming over they're not used to and the dogs are getting rowdy, all we have to do is say "go to your home" and our two younger dogs will slink off to the kitchen. Our oldest dog thinks she's the HBIC though so she gets free rein of the house. Again, one of those things I would change if I could go back to when she was a puppy.

And ditto to knowing the routine. Our dogs know that once we're putting our shoes on, it's time to go to the kitchen. Only downside is they know when it's bedtime. All three will line up and stare at me once it hits 10 PM if I'm still awake (I go to bed before H). It would be funny if it weren't so creepy.

As puppies we used the crate at night until they were potty trained. Now that they are older we just use it during the day. Our boxer can't be left loose because he has extreme separation anxiety from my DH. I think some people (a few coworkers of mine) feel like its mean to leave them in there all day. Honestly, he is less stressed when he is in (the very large) crate with our other dog and it keeps him from escaping if we were to leave him in the yard. Then when we get home they get to have lots of love time playing and cuddling and at night now they get to sleep in our room on their own bed. They know not to get up and start moving around until we get out of bed.

And thanks to routine we could never accidentally not feed them. At 7:00 sharp every evening they let us know its dinner time. We love to get them all worked up by feeding into their frenzy by saying "are you hungry?"

ETA: Which may now be a bad thing because anytime we use the word hungry they think they get to eat again. We now have to say "the h word".

juliehollz13 · July 2015

LOL, im not any help because we have 35lb german pincher and a 13lbs pom-corgi mix and they take up half of our king sized bed at night. As far as crate training, the first puppy was like "LOL nice try". it doesnt matter how you lock him in he figured out how to unlatch the cage, and when we padlocked it he figured out how to bring the top down. For him, we HAD to get him a friend or we would have had to give him away. It was 7 months of torture because of his separation anxiety, escape tactics and REFUSAL to poop outside. we got him a friend, he calmed down, he has 0 accidents, and they both get crated while we're at work with no issues. So long story short, crating didnt work for us, but we had a very difficult breed (german pincher). Our dogs sleep in the room with us at night. but i agree with the above posters - the dogs DONT go out in the middle of the night and have a pretty regular routine and now that there's 2 of them they dont mind their crate during the day, and even go in it and lay down if we're out in the garage or the yard. I just dont believe in adopting an animal and then returning them. We stuck it out and now we have 2 wonderful, happy, behaved (for the most part) fur babies.

wanderingtx · July 2015

JLaVO888 said:
As puppies we used the crate at night until they were potty trained. Now that they are older we just use it during the day. Our boxer can't be left loose because he has extreme separation anxiety from my DH. I think some people (a few coworkers of mine) feel like its mean to leave them in there all day. Honestly, he is less stressed when he is in (the very large) crate with our other dog and it keeps him from escaping if we were to leave him in the yard. Then when we get home they get to have lots of love time playing and cuddling and at night now they get to sleep in our room on their own bed. They know not to get up and start moving around until we get out of bed.

And thanks to routine we could never accidentally not feed them. At 7:00 sharp every evening they let us know its dinner time. We love to get them all worked up by feeding into their frenzy by saying "are you hungry?"

ETA: Which may now be a bad thing because anytime we use the word hungry they think they get to eat again. We now have to say "the h word".

I used to think this, until I crate trained my dog! Seeing her willingly head to her crate while I pack my lunch everyday is so reassuring. She actually really likes her crate, it's her own space. Not to mention coming home to a happy, safe dog is a much better alternative to the chewed shoes/rugs/carpet/cords we've come home to if she's left out! DH comes home at lunch everyday for an hour and plays with her and lets her out, so she does get a pretty good break.

JLaVO888 · July 2015

@tkarliem45

DH and my schedule has a little overlap so they are never in there more than 8 hours tops and only weekdays. During the summer I am home all day so they get to be free all day. They really do love to snuggle in the crate together and when we are home they have a great back yard to roam and be crazy in. We also live a block from a huge park so Mia gets lots of fetch playing in the evenings. The Boxer could really care less about playing fetch unless he is doing it to keep other dog from getting the ball.

blackgirlmagic · July 2015

Thanks ladies for all of your advice. We are going to crate train him. His crate is actually right outside our bedroom door. Last night was our first night with him so it was just a struggle for me since I am a very light sleeper. And I spoke to my husband about it this morning and he apologized for last night. I will also be coming home during the day for three days out of the week to let him out during my lunch break since I work 20 minutes for home and my DH has to take the metro to get to work. I hope that he adjusted pretty quickly to the crate. We only plan on using it just to make sure he is 100% potty trained and then after we trust him with everything he will be free to roam the house with our dog other and two cats.
You can just call my house a mini petting zoo.

KristieA · July 2015

raesmith9 said:

So I will not be able to take my temp this morning which is very frustrating! FF predicts that I'm suppose to O early next week and I wanted to make sure that my numbers are solid since this will be my first cycle temping. Let me back up and state that this puppy is supposed to be my husbands responsibility. I told him that I was not going to do anything with the puppy at night and he said ok, that's fair! Who has let the dog out 2/3 times tonight and who is currently watching tv on the sofa because the dog is more comfortable being in the living room than up in the bedroom. Oh and to top it all of her said "can you please let me him. You get to telework tomorrow and my job is more important than your". Ladies with puppies or babies/toddlers how do you handle this?

Sorry can we just go back to the part where your DH? told you that his job was more important than yours for a second? Because unless he's saving babies from burning buildings while also performing heart surgery on the elderly:

WinchestertoPittsburgh · July 2015

@KristieA hit it. When I read this, OP, all I kept thinking was 'wait until it's a baby'. If he is saying things like this about a puppy, what happens when you're the only one taking care of the child? Sounds like a conversation with DH needs to happen, and soon.

KristieA · July 2015

@WinchestertoPittsburgh Yes my thoughts exactly.

I should add that I have moved across the UK twice to follow my husband, but if he ever expressed that view he would be told exactly where he could go.

DanyTargaryen · July 2015

Yes to crate training, and I haven't read all the posts, but if it's a 2-3 month old puppy they should be given the opportunity to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

General rule of thumb per the puppy book I read when we got our pup was each month old = 1 hour of being able to hold it. Ours held it longer than 2 hours when we first brought him home, but please don't make him stay in a crate all night long without the opportunity to go to the bathroom if he's really young.

Snoflakes4eva · July 2015

KristieA said:

raesmith9 said:

So I will not be able to take my temp this morning which is very frustrating! FF predicts that I'm suppose to O early next week and I wanted to make sure that my numbers are solid since this will be my first cycle temping. Let me back up and state that this puppy is supposed to be my husbands responsibility. I told him that I was not going to do anything with the puppy at night and he said ok, that's fair! Who has let the dog out 2/3 times tonight and who is currently watching tv on the sofa because the dog is more comfortable being in the living room than up in the bedroom. Oh and to top it all of her said "can you please let me him. You get to telework tomorrow and my job is more important than your". Ladies with puppies or babies/toddlers how do you handle this?

Sorry can we just go back to the part where your DH? told you that his job was more important than yours for a second? Because unless he's saving babies from burning buildings while also performing heart surgery on the elderly:

This. It sounds like you have a husband problem not a dog problem.

BakerBird525 · July 2015

I'm sure most of this has been repeated, but still:

1. Crate training is a wonderful idea, but you should take your puppy out once at night for the first couple of months, depending on how old they are. We alternated this for 2-3 months and got our puppy at 8 weeks. Don't give them water less than 30 min before bed when they are a puppy and take them out before putting them to bed.

2. Buy a large crate that allows you to put up dividers. They should not have room to walk around and pee/poop in the crate or they will. As the dog gets bigger, move the divider back to give it more space.

3. Cover the crate with some sheets to make it feel more like a 'den' for the dog and keep it dark at night when it's time to sleep.

Our dog is now 1 1/2 and her crate is in the kitchen and we keep the door open all the time. We have gates on both entrances so she basically gets the whole kitchen now but usually ends up sleeping in her crate anyways since the A/C vent goes right into it. And at night, she roams the house, but has never been interested in chewing up anything she's not supposed to and usually just sleeps on the cool floor or in her crate. She's a goldie so she gets hot easily. We also have a cooling mat in her crate.

Also, we made the mistake of allowing her to sleep in a 'play pen' in our room the first night which I think made the crate training process more difficult, but I think it's worth it in the end. Once they get used to it, they like it. And there is no reason to keep food/water in their crate. I know some people do that, but it's not necessary.

Sorry if anything was repeated!

myndihallberg · July 2015

OH MY GOD!!! I actually can not believe what I'm reading because it's like you reached inside my life and wrote my life. My husband "needed" all black german shepherd. So we got him I mean a cute little puppy right?? Well my husband is in the military and had to leave for a little bit two days after bringing him home... it was soooooo frustrating! So it was me cleaning the potty messes, waking up all hours of the night to let him outside, training him, taking him to training...all the puppy works and he hates the cuddles! Everyone told me "it's like having a baby" WHICH I HATED WHEN THEY SAID THAT! Having a puppy is very different I didn't grow this puppy in my uterus for 9 months, birth him out, and breastfed him. At least it's gotten better and he is now a loving little turd.
Rant understood, rant accepted, rant returned.

blackgirlmagic · July 2015

KristieA I plan on having a talk with my husband. I'm guessing what he was trying to say is that I get to stay home and i normally take a nap during my lunch break, so I can get a break during my day unlike him. So that is what I think he was referring to, but still that was rude of him to say that. So we will be having a talk during dinner tonight.

And yes I did take a nap during lunch today and I ended up putting up a gate in the crate so he couldn't move around a lot. He cried for a little bit but then ended up taking a nap as well. I might just have to invest into ear plugs to help me fall asleep. But my puppy is so stinking lovable and cute, but I do have to remember that my husband and I are in charge of him.

And we do let him out in the middle of the night. We are thinking/hoping of letting him tell us when he needs to go by his crying, instead of having an alarm and waking him up. The breeder told us that he should only have to go once in the middle of the night.

But I agree with you @myndilhallerg having a puppy is not like having baby. With a baby I can try and sooth them to sleep and try and figure out what is wrong. With a dog its not the same. But I can see how people can relate to them crying in the middle of the night like a baby crying in the middle of the night. But I'm hopefully that each night will get better each time. FX!!!!

KristieA · July 2015

raesmith9 said:

KristieA I plan on having a talk with my husband. I'm guessing what he was trying to say is that I get to stay home and i normally take a nap during my lunch break, so I can get a break during my day unlike him. So that is what I think he was referring to, but still that was rude of him to say that. So we will be having a talk during dinner tonight.
And yes I did take a nap during lunch today and I ended up putting up a gate in the crate so he couldn't move around a lot. He cried for a little bit but then ended up taking a nap as well. I might just have to invest into ear plugs to help me fall asleep. But my puppy is so stinking lovable and cute, but I do have to remember that my husband and I are in charge of him.
And we do let him out in the middle of the night. We are thinking/hoping of letting him tell us when he needs to go by his crying, instead of having an alarm and waking him up. The breeder told us that he should only have to go once in the middle of the night.
But I agree with you @myndilhallerg having a puppy is not like having baby. With a baby I can try and sooth them to sleep and try and figure out what is wrong. With a dog its not the same. But I can see how people can relate to them crying in the middle of the night like a baby crying in the middle of the night. But I'm hopefully that each night will get better each time. FX!!!!

Yes but that is how you choose to spend your lunch break. Glad you will be having words though

blackgirlmagic · July 2015

He is sleeping right now, but here is an older photo of him:

KristieA · July 2015

OMFG I just melted

cattlebride · July 2015

KristieA said:
OMFG I just melted

Love tits just for the sailor Moon gif

HarryPotterandCats · July 2015

Also, why do you guys get a dog when you BOTH aren't on board? I could never imagine making a decision like that without DH wanting it to. It is a huge responsibility.

wanderingtx · July 2015

raesmith9 said:

He is sleeping right now, but here is an older photo of him:

That looks like an Australian Shepherd? Our pup is an Aussie too! Red Merle. Seriously the smartest dog ever. She is constantly thinking and busy. That also means always getting into trouble if we aren't careful!

blackgirlmagic · July 2015

@HarryPotterandCats we both are on board with the dog. I just told him that I'm not doing anything at night with the dog. My husband has never had a pet of his own and I told him that when we start ttc he could get his dog. I want the dog to be trained by the time the baby makes its way into the world whenever that will be. But we both equally take care of him, I'm just off duty at night.

@tkarliem45 he is a full breed Australian Shepard, blue Merle. Supper cute and fun to play with! Also thanks for the webpage information. I read it and it helped a ton last night!!

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