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July 2015 Moms
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DH/SO rants or praise :)

ericadaniel315ericadaniel315 member
in July 2015 Moms
How is your DH/SO doing so far?
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Re: DH/SO rants or praise :)

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  • SBbabyonboardSBbabyonboard member
    I love my SO dearly and he is a big help in a lot of ways. He cooks and cleans, he works 6 days a week and will do store runs and grocery runs, he is so sweet for doing those things for me. But when it comes to feet or back rubs or some uhm... Sexy time.... That is kinda at an all time low. Not sure if he's just not in the mood or if it's cause his normally sexy girlfriend is now massive and with child.... Lol I could see that as a turn off, but he does so much else that it's kind of hard to complain. Just sometimes makes me a little sad feeling when I see others post about their SO having sex a lot and lots of foot rubs ect. Hopefully this will go back to normal after our bundle of joy arrives and after the recovery period.
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  • dominican22dominican22 member
    My SO is actually dreading me not being pregnant anymore he says that I'm nicer when I'm pregnant lmao which is a bit true we don't argue as much the other day he tells me "hun can you try and stay nice this time after the baby gets here" but he so contradicts himself he wants the baby here only because he sees how uncomfortable I get he's the best I'm so happy he's my one and only :x
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  • Savanna111911Savanna111911 member
    In general my husband has been amazing. He is very protective and does whatever he can to make me feel less stressed, less uncomfortable, whatever.

    The one complaint I would have had been something more recent. I think it just hasn't sank in to him get that we are weeks away from having a baby. He is still scheduling us to do things in the evenings and volunteering us for things, etc. I think he means well, it just hasn't really hit him yet. But although I'm actually not miserable, I do tire easy and I would like a little more time to chill before the baby comes.
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  • NewMumzy25NewMumzy25 member
    My hubby has been amazing, he uses the "well you're pregnant!" Card more than me haha, I think it's cause he really likes saying it, were both gonna be first time parents and I can tell he's very excited. Always happy to tell people were expecting! He runs to the store for me and always gets or eats what I'm craving. Been a real sweetheart in taking care of me and making sure I'm as comfortable as can be expected at 40+5 lol. I couldn't ask for a better person to be sharing thisiracke with <3
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  • AziaNickAziaNick member
    My husband is great. Very supportive and understanding. I had complications throughout the pregnancy and I ended up quiting my job as soon as I found out that I was pregnant, so it worked out. But he has been working 6 days a week and on top of that he has been to every doctors appointment, even when for 3 months we had to go down twice a week. He gives foot massages and back rubs, cooks and cleans and always wants to hold and touch me ;) he has been involved with the whole pregnancy and has been there to support me and the baby mentally, physically and spiritually. Now that the baby is born, not only is a great husband but a great father. He still cleans and works and does all those things while I was pregnant and on top of that, he helps with the baby. He wants to be involved with her in all ways he can. He changes her diapers, feeds her, read to her, gives her baths. He does everything I do except produce milk for our baby haha I love and appreciate him so much. I'm glad there is a discussion on this :D
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  • AlexandraMarcotteAlexandraMarcotte member
    Aw, I love how all these husbands love you ladies! (We deserve some TLC, especially this late in the game!)

    My husband has been so incredible! He is all over giving frequent massages, encouraging relax time and bath time, and has been cooking and cleaning around the apartment for as long as I've been kind of unable to bend and move around. He almost looked guilty when he said he wanted some downtime to decompress and just play his games tonight (especially since our LO hasn't arrived yet). Haha, poor guy deserves a major break and lots of love for all he has done for mommy and baby.

    I have an extra massage someone gave me as a gift. I feel like I should give him one so he can relax too haha
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  • JHaworth84JHaworth84 member
    My DH took two weeks off to spend some time with me and help get things ready for the baby and it's been lovely having him around- I really hope baby makes an appearance before he goes back to work on Monday so he can stay off a little longer! Unfortunately though I think the pressure is starting to get to him a little as he has been doing 'jobs' which include fixing a rockery on our new driveway and replacing the garden fence... All well and good except he is not used to manual labour and physically is a little broken to say the least. I'm hoping he can chill out a bit as for once it's not me nagging him to get things done lol x
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  • rosemommarosemomma member
    edited July 2015
    @babydoll1008 "And the house needs to be perfect otherwise my nesting will be ruined." THIS.

    I feel like I can't relax now unless my house is neat. My poor husband doesn't get it. Crazy nesting hormones!
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  • bridgitdbridgitd member
    He has been fantastic... I feel like I love him more everyday and he is going to be such a natural at being a daddy! He talks and reads to my belly, helps out around the house even more than usual even though he is the one working right now, and encourages me to stay in bed late or nap if I'm tired and can actually sleep!
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  • jtenkorangjtenkorang member
    My hubby is great. But he doesn't really get that I'm pregnant and still expects me to do things like moving furniture, house work, grocery shopping etc. I'm having twins so I'm huge at this point. Otherwise he does a great job of running after our 15 month old and picking her up when I can't. He also watches her and works around all of my doctors appointments so that she doesn't have to go to daycare :). He really is great he just doesn't get the whole pamper your pregnant wife bit. Haha
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  • wheresilenceismusicwheresilenceismusic member
    Wow, I am so glad to hear that you ladies have such supportive partners!

    My DH is doing the best he can.  He was incredibly supportive the first trimester when I suffered morning sickness, when the pregnancy was still new.  The second trimester was difficult for both of us.  DH had to undergo unexpected surgery in his hip.  I began a new job working at an elementary school, and became incredibly, insufferably illl on seven occasions, thanks to the immunosuppression of pregnancy.  I had the flu, but worse - bronchitis - and was coughing blood, with fever on and off, for months.  During this time, I had to drive DH to his doctor appointments, administer his medications, and rehabilitate him (help him use the restroom, shower him, etc.), as he was completely bed bound for over a month, and learning to use crutches after then.  He was frustrated and depressed (and frankly, terrible to be around) unless he was on his pain medication, and at those times he was -- how to say this nicely? -- obviously very drugged.  So I performed all the cooking and cleaning for most of the pregnancy, up to 32-34 weeks.  … After a certain point, DH graduated from his crutches and his efforts to help me noticeably increased.  He began to change the cat litter without me nagging, hounding, and then begging him to, lol.  He took over half of the cooking (and he didn't know how to cook before the pregnancy!).  He began to give me massages about half of the time that I asked.  He helps with some of the housework.

    Oh, my darling husband.  I do love him very much.  He would be devastated if he read my assessment of his contributions, because he really does do all that he can.  The surgery wasn't his fault and in so many ways, I wasn't the best caretaker for him during that time (with my pregnancy and sickness).  He is still recovering.  I am probably needier than I should be.  DH and I both went into the pregnancy thinking that I would be the type of woman to run half marathons while carrying a baby.  Turns out it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, physically, and I've needed more emotional support than I ever could have anticipated.

    I am a little disappointed that DH doesn't have more initiative --- he spends most of his time on his cell phone or playing video games.  I wonder how he will be as a father.  I ask him to take me out for a walk, to show me an adventure, to plan something fun.  …But it only happens if I imagine it, if I plan it, if I wake us up early, make us breakfast, and get him out of the house.  How is he going to educate and entertain our little girl?  Will he teach her nothing but to play video games all day?

    After much teeth-pulling, DH did read the pregnancy book (Ina May Gaskin's guide to childbirth) that I requested him to.  He hasn't practiced labor coaching / pain relieving techniques with me yet.  He hasn't helped with perenial massage (I asked him to a couple of times and … he hasn't / wouldn't … he just wants to have sex instead, and I am too embarrassed to bring it up again).  When I feel a strong, painful BH contraction, I feel like he's judging me if I am uncomfortable or if I complain.  (Actually, I can say that about my pregnancy in general.  I feel like he's judging me when I complain.  He makes fun of me a lot and trivializes the pregnancy.)  I will be giving birth in a birth center.   I interviewed a doula to assist with the birth, scared that DH will not be much help (with his recovering leg, he cannot hold me up, etc.), but we decided we cannot afford the doula.  My biggest fear about the labor and birth is that DH will be unhelpful -- or even worse, that I won't want him there.

    In his favor, though:  through most of the pregnancy, he has worked 12-hour days, with some 24-hour shifts, even right after his surgery.  He has attended every single doctor's appointment of mine.  He supports my decision to birth in a birthing center and to encapsulate the placenta.  He has made a few dinners, he vacuums on the weekends, and he is genuinely thrilled about our baby.  Most of all, DH and I have known each other and been together forever, and I know he really, truly loves me.

    I hope his leg improves more over the next year.  I hope DH learns to contribute to household chores, to get himself out of bed, to stop wasting his life (and mine!) playing video games.  I hope that I learn to communicate these things to DH in an impactful way rather than just writing them on message boards.
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  • CkorinesCkorines member
    My husband is the most incredible man and I literally could not have made it through my med-free delivery without him. He massaged my back the entire time, held my hand as we walked the through the hospital, and scooped water out of the shower as it didn't drain quick enough but he knew the water was soothing me. He was on his hands and knees with a bucket in the hospital shoveling the water away so that I could stay in there longer. People speak of using a doula and I see the importance of a support system during delivery. I was honored when the labor and delivery nurse said, "who needs a doula when you have a husband like yours?!"

    After our daughter arrived he went on FB and posted the most beautiful thing. He is not one to share his emotions but he wrote how honored he was to be married to such a strong and selfless woman and that our daughters are lucky to have a Woman like me to look up to.

    I always knew I was lucky to be married to him. Him and my girls are the best things that have ever happened to me!
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  • momof5ivemomof5ive member
    It brings me joy to read all of your stories. My pregnancy support has been a roller coaster from the beginning. SO wasn't happy about the pregnancy at first because it wasn't planned.. Then he got on board being supportive after about maybe 20 something weeks into the process...smh... Then there wasn't any sexy-time at all for a while so it's been a bit rough on me. It got better briefly for about 2 months with foot massages, going to the store for my cravings, wanting to be under me, and all the nice stuff. THEN it changed again! (Can u say beyond frustrated?) Here I am at 38+ weeks and he's back to square one! So needless to say! I'm not a happy camper. But I will be when baby girl gets here next week!

    But again I live vicariously through all the other momma's stories! This board is LIFE to me!
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  • momof5ivemomof5ive member
    ;)
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  • arbell615arbell615 member
    My husband has been so patient and understanding with me this whole pregnancy. Right now he's the only one working and he doesn't complain at all! He's taken over the litter box and is happy to help clean if I ask him to. The only thing I wish was that he spent less time zoning out in the evenings, I would love to have more time with him to talk about the huge change that's going to happen any day, but I think he's just looking for an escape right now. He's said that he thinks he's playing video games so much right now because he knows he won't be able to as much once baby's born.

    I can't wait to watch him as a father. It's going to be a huge transition for both of us stepping into parenthood for the first time. I know I'm lucky to have such a kind and wonderful person to go through this adventure with!
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