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August 2015 Moms
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Grandparents won't be grandparents

skatie8191skatie8191 member
in August 2015 Moms
Just feeling kinda down since my dad told me he won't have anything to do with me or the baby (his first grandchild)... Since his wife hates me (literally bc I didn't text her back six yrs ago after she told me happy birthday...not exaggerating).. So there goes that grandparent.
Then my mom has a terrible drug problem, which I told her if she didn't get clean and go to rehab she will not be there allowed at this hospital nor will she be allowed to come around her first grandchild. And yes, she chose to avoid me from here on out.
My husband has his parents, who live in another state.. And I know they would never let their granddaughter down BUT I just feel ashamed of my parents for doing this.
I was kind of thinking that, okay so the baby will help bring my family back together, since I've never actually had one of my own due to my shithead parents. But no, it's still the same and I just feel really down.
Was writing in her baby book today and had to skip the sections about her maternal grandparents.. And it just makes me really sad...

Had to vent on here too bc husbands family is so close and loving, and he just doesn't really understand or know how to comfort me. And I'm almost even ashamed to talk to him about it......

Ugh.
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Re: Grandparents won't be grandparents

  • gladdyolagladdyola member
    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm in a similar situation where my ex's parents have made it very clear they do not want to be part of baby girls life. As sad as it is that she won't grow up with two sets of grandparents like many do, there are also so many who grow up with just one set or no grandparents at all. I am very fortunate to have a wonderful mother, father, and step-dad who are extremely excited to become grandparents and I am beyond thankful for that. Maybe once your mom sees what she's missing out on she will at least make the effort to clean up her life to be part of your LOs. Sending you lots of t&ps.
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  • johannaspisakjohannaspisak member
    Sorry to hear this. My 8yr old has no contact with his father's parents. He asks about them from time to time, and receives a child friendly version of the situation. Silly them for missing out on their grandson. With the situation you're in, it will totally be their loss as well. With your mother, you have to protect your LO, and I can agree with the rehab being non-negotiable. With your dad, one day he'll hopefully wake up and realize he's being a twit.
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  • Shine2015Shine2015 member
    MIL is not really involved in my sons life at this point so I get how you are feeling. It really sucks and I tend to feel sorry for DS at times but then realize it is her loss. My parents spoil him and love him enough so he's not really missing out on that. It's OK to wish for how you would love for things to be but then remember it may never be that way and that is OK.
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  • dkizz82dkizz82 member
    So sorry to hear this. I'm kinda right there with you with my dad. I don't like his woman and she's caused problems for the past 10 years. Me and my dad aren't close and I'm sure he won't be to his granddaughter either. My mom lives 4 hours away but luckily will come up a lot.

    Maybe things could change when the baby comes. I hope so for you and baby.
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  • skatie8191skatie8191 member
    It's so hard to understand step "mothers" that take a dad away from his kids... I married my husband with kids and have never felt the need or want to push them out.
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  • Seed0824Seed0824 member
    That's unfortunate but try to focus on how lucky baby will be to have you are your hubby's love. Some babies don't even have loving parents.
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  • pharmladypdxpharmladypdx member
    I just had my baby shower & was surrounded by all my extended non-bio family. My mother was a single parent, so there goes 1/2 the grandparents. But I have so many 'aunts' & 'grandmas' who love me & are my family even if they aren't bio. Know that your baby will have love & sometimes friends are the family we choose.
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  • SaratiffSaratiff member
    I agree with Previous posters it's their loss. And honestly I wouldn't want to give these people the chance to hurt your child like they have clearly hurt you. I grew up not knowing my maternal grandmother and I have no interest in having a relationship with someone who is so hateful towards my mother
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