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September 2015 Moms
v1wwo
member
Just for one day.
v1wwo
member
I am a wedding photographer and I already have giggs booked for next year. My earliest is in January. That mean I will be out of the house the whole day and my husband will have to take care of the baby. To me it all seemed fine but to my friend - that has a 2 month old - being away for 12 hours is a tragedy! She made me sound like a bad mother for leaving my child for that long (and the next day for about 4 hours to do a day after session.)
My LO will be left in more than capable hands and I know she will be safe and fed.
Am I missing something?
My LO will be left in more than capable hands and I know she will be safe and fed.
Am I missing something?
Re: Just for one day.
I absolutely don't think OP should stop her work, but your statement is very judgemental. I became a SAHM because no, I can't imagine leaving my child on a routine basis. Even when I have a sitter come so I can have some personal time and I come home to everything out of place and sometimes a bad habit picked up, it doesn't thrill me. It makes my world feel unbalanced. It has nothing to do with spouse or partner. My spouse is gone from 6 am -7 pm 5 days a week. Some of us just choose to have one parent home during those times. Others choose to continue their work because it keeps THEM balanced. Great. But don't judge those who embrace motherhood as a full time thing.
Maybe I'm sensitive, but not wanting to leave your children = unhealthy and losing yourself , but continuing to pursue work = healthier and balanced is pretty offensive to me.
I totally embrace moms working outside the home, inside the home, or only parenting. Since my DD1 has started preschool let me tell you that there are wonderful kids that come from all kinds of family situations, and nightmarish kids from all backgrounds too. Skilled, compassionate parenting comes from all kinds of work/custody situations.
My DH bristles when anyone asks him if he is "watching" our DD1. And would openly call someone out who dared use the babysitting word to describe what he does. He has flat out told people that if I could make money as he does, he would gladly stay at home - and I would be totally ok with that too. I would miss SAH mommying, but no more than he misses all the cute and messy things that happen during a typical day.
My advice is this: ignore your friend who is judgmental - she is telling you more about her own fears of being replaced than about your situation. Your DH will have several months to see your system of primary baby care before your work starts up again - and will then throw most of it out the window and do his own thing. It is ok! If it makes you feel better write notes for him, but don't get mad as he will probably ignore these. :-)
As a personal point I will add that if you delay your own post work downtime just a little bit and reconnect with your baby/child right away - nursing, playing, cuddling - you are going to feel better. Your baby is going to be fine either way because the other parent is still there, but you are going to crave it.
Oh and get some type of birthstone/child symbol with weight to it (ring, pendant, collar pin) and wear it at work. I can't exactly explain why it helped me when I went back to work for those months, but it did. During the times when I was too busy to think of my child (shock, it happens, and that doesn't make me any less of a phenomenal mom) I still felt the weight of the pendant and felt better. Once again, my child was perfectly fine with her dad, though she did miss my grilled cheese sandwiches I am told. :-) She missed me, but she also misses her dad when he is at work.
Ok, I rambled a bit as is my way, but please be reassured that working isn't going to lessen your mom skills unless you choose to let it. (I have a stay at home friend whose kids watch tv 7 hours a day - not my style but I think she is coping the best she can.)
Maybe I'm sensitive, but not wanting to leave your children = unhealthy and losing yourself , but continuing to pursue work = healthier and balanced is pretty offensive to me.
I took that as more of a "not wanting to leave your children with their father." Which to me, is kind of unhealthy. But that's just me. I guess we interpreted it differently.
I totally agree that it's ok to venture out sometimes and want a bit of self identity that extends beyond "motherhood". I've
seen friends become "mom hermits", lol, and that's just not me.
Do the job you love, when you feel right, and ignore criticism. Everyone has an opinion, doesn't make any of them right though