Too old for baby shower — The Bump
November 2015 Moms

Too old for baby shower

Hi I'm 37 and pregnant with my Surprise baby. I say that because my other kids are now 17and 14. My oldest asked when I was having a baby shower in front of my mother and other family. They kinda looked at me strange and asked if I was really thinking of having one. My mom said I'm kind of older and this is my third kid. My friends are excited and want to throw me a shower but now I feel awkward. What do you guys think??

Re: Too old for baby shower

  • I had a 16 year old daughter when I had my son. My family threw me a baby shower, you probably need everything anyway. Now I am pregnant with a girl and my oldest wants to have a sprinkle shower but I told her now.
  • I'm sure you need baby stuff. Obviously don't throw one for yourself, but if people really want to throw one for you, let them. Personally, I don't think I would be comfortable with it. I think I'd rather do one of those "Sip & Sees" for any subsequent children, even if they are several years apart. That's just me, though.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • It sounds like your kids want to celebrate with a shower too, if they're asking about it! I think it's silly not to if there is someone who is happy to throw you one.
  • Go for it!!
  • mic411mic411 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Photogenic First Answer
    I say go for it!! AS other posters have said, your youngest is now a teenager so its almost like you are starting all over again! If your friends want to celebrate then I say have fun and enjoy :) 
  • Go for it girl!
  • gkfkgkfk member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Photogenic
    If you want to have one, you should. Im 36, my husband is 38, and we finally decided to have our first kid now. (No one thought we ever would, sometimes us included!) i feel too old for a shower too. But, my mom wants me to have one and my BFF says its not negotiable. So we'll probably have a co-ed BBQ/bar/baby shower at our house hosted by them. Im NOT having games or present opening, and am not registering for anything over $30 or expecting gifts from everyone, that seems tacky to me. Hope this helps and that you have fun!
  • I feel that a baby shower doesn't have an age limit. The point of the shower is to prepare for the baby that is coming. I really didn't want one either; honestly I was telling people they didn't have to come bc I didn't even want to go to my own shower! But after the three hour event I was happy because I felt more prepared for the arrival and it really helped me understand what all the "stuff" was and what it was used for.
    In terms of your situation, I would definitely recommend having the shower bc I'm sure things have changed because your kiddos are teenagers. Also, if they want to get involved; you can always consider it a family event!
  • If you are of childbearing age (which you obviously are) you are not too old for a baby shower!! Just my 2 cents.

    Married DH December 2014
    Expecting DS#1 November 2015
  • Generally I'm not a fan of showers after your first except in special circumstances. I think if your kids and friends are excited about throwing you one you should accept. But only if you feel comfortable with it. If you don't want to feel like the center of attention or feel like it would seem to "gift graby" you could always suggest a sip and see for after the baby is born. I'm sure your older ones would love the idea of showing off the new baby that way.
  • I'm the same age. I felt funny about it too and even kind of still do but my mom and friends are super excited planning it. My "circle" hasn't had children in years. My only child is 11.
  • I have an 11 and 13 year old. I never had baby showers for either of them. Not because I didn't want to... Just no one to throw one, I guess.
    This will be my husband's first child. He has a HUGE family, and one of his sisters wants to throw me a shower. I'm excited. I've never experienced it. Furthermore, we have NOTHING for a baby. I mean, I've bought stuff here and there, but I'm thinking we may need a little bit of a boost to get us started.

    To be quite frank, I'm not sure I care what others say about having a shower with 3rd baby.

    I wish you all the best and you should totally enjoy your shower!
  • I'm 41 and I'm having a baby shower. Didn't have one with my 15 & 11 year old daughters - I'm in the UK and it never used to be the done thing. My partner's sister is adamant I have one though and I'm happy to go along with her :)
  • My friends want to throw one for me. I have an almost 5 year old girl and this time we are having a boy. I got rid of a lot of her stuff. Mostly we just want a day to hang out just the girls and have a good time.
  • My husband and I don't make a whole lot of money (we live on a VERY tight budget)... we got ourselves out of debt before the baby would be born, and we really don't want to go back into debt trying to buy all the things for our child (because there are some CRAZY expensive things for kids these days)... we've bought a few things at garage sales (like the baby's crib, some toys, etc.), but since people WANT to throw us a baby shower, we figured we should let them - they get to feel like they're a part of our child's life, and our baby gets some of the things he needs... I tend to slip it into as many conversations as possible the things that we're NEEDING on our list so that hopefully someone will purchase them for us (namely, our travel system and our cloth diapers), but even if they don't buy those 2 (which are our "big ticket" items), then at least some of the other odds and ends will be taken care of so we have a little more money for the things we need but didn't get.
  • urby87urby87 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I had posted a response to this when it was new, but it disappeared during maintenance and hasn't come back as of yet.

    Personally, I had only ever known a shower as welcoming and sharing excitement about a new baby until I heard otherwise on TB.  As far as what is considered proper etiquette, though, I've learned that a shower is thrown to shower a new mother with gifts and welcome her into motherhood.  For this reason, a mother throwing her own shower or accepting a shower for a subsequent child is sometimes frowned upon, as it can be seen as gift-grabby.  Your age has nothing to do with whether or not you can have a shower.  Perhaps the people mentioning your age are actually referring, in a roundabout way, to the fact that it isn't your first child?  I think in the case of a large age gap between children, as is your case, showers/sprinkles are generally better-received.  We had one for my sister's second for that very reason, actually.  So my thought is basically if you have somebody who really wants to throw one for you, and you're comfortable with it, you should do it.  Just be aware that if you have people in your circle that are very by-the-book in terms of etiquette, they may not agree with it because you are already a mother.
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