Anyone else not particularly enjoying the newborn phase?

SeaSoul · January 2009

I admit this with great guilt, but I'm not really enjoying this time. I adore my son and am eternally grateful to have him in my life, and he brings me joy every day. But the demands of caring for him are far greater than I imagined, in spite of having been "warned" countless times about what to expect. For me it's mainly the lack of time to do anything for myself that is the hardest part. I can deal with the sleep deprivation. DH is wonderful when he's here but since he can't nurse there's not a lot he can do when it's hunger we're dealing with (which, lately, is constant thanks to a growth spurt). I just wonder if others find themselves feeling this way. I don't want to wish away this time because I know he's growing so fast that I soon will miss his tiny, tiny self, but I do look forward to a time when I won't be restricted to the nursing chair 24/7.
(I'm sorry for the above, Cal...Mommy loves you!)

HNLchick · January 2009

Totally normal! Don't beat yourself up. Its an incredibly hard JOB that we really didn't have any training for. Its getting much more fun as the days progress, dd's over 3months now.

Lucky_Dragonfly · January 2009

I felt that way the first month esp since MH decided that he needed to work extra late after me having the baby so he came home later then usual.

mrs.bridgettkay · January 2009

I can relate and feel guilty too. I love DD but the lack of sleep is getting to me. That and feeling helpless when I don't know what to do for DD. I know it gets better but it seems like that phase is so far away. Just know you're not alone.

mrs_kelly1014 · January 2009

I practically could have written this post. For me, it's the lack of sleep that is killing me. While I am already dreading him growing up too fast, I will certainly be a little happy when we are out of this stage even though I really do adore spending time with him.

The constnat nursing is really wearing on me. He nursed every 45-50 minutes last night and into this morning (ending at around 11 AM when he FINALLY started dozing on and off). My boobs hurt and I am just exhausted. When DH gets home in the evening he is no help simply because Colin wants to nurse constantly in the evening/night so there is nothing DH can do.

I'm trying to pump more so that I can hopefully build up enough so that DH can give him a bottle of BM and give me a break but I only get an ounce at a time (if I'm lucky!) so I don't know how well this is going to work. I wonder when it starts to get a bit easier?

smiling76 · January 2009

I agree w pp--don't beat yourself up. This is a time to enjoy--but it's overwhelming. And some of us didn't have 'easy' babies--I had a VERY colicky, gassy, uptight baby and it lasted about 3.5 months. It was very tough. And the nursing thing was tough too for the reasons you indicated. Sometimes it still is--but I know that this time will go way too fast and try to enjoy it.

Having said that--you need to take time for YOU too--get someone to watch your little one--whether DH or a parent and check out for a couple hours (since I realize that with BFing you can only go a couple hours)---try and pump a bottle for whomever to give. It DOES get easier.

CrazeyJaneyR · January 2009

I felt the same way - still do sometimes!! Don't feel bad - I'm pretty sure we've all felt that way.?

?

I felt guilty too, until I talked to moms that I knew, and then i felt soooo much better!?

MrsAMB07 · January 2009

I know what you're saying. DS is such an easy going baby and it's hard work, I can't imagine how parents of colicky babies do it. I keep saying to myself I can't wait for this non-sleeping-through-the-night stage is over, but then I look at pictures from even a month ago and can't believe how big he is. I don't want him to get big too fast... just sleep a little more.

engaged678 · January 2009

I remember this. Basically you're just spending your days trying to keep DS alive right now. It's not fun but totally pays off when he first smiles at you and cuddles and gets a bit older. I'm totally in love with DS right now and it's only just begun! Keep at it Mommy, you're doing a good job!

MrsRenee · January 2009

Don't feel bad for feeling this way. The newborn phase is hard and I think many people feel this way, whether they're brave enough to admit it or not. I have heard several people on these boards comment how they want their kids close together just so they can get through the newborn phase and be done with it. Things seem hard in the beginning but then it seems like one day it magically gets better, so hang in there! Just wait till they start smiling. All the hard work is worth it just to see that big grin!

DBride2006 · January 2009

I love DS and love the time I get to spend at home with him, but it certainly is challenging. Feedings take around 45 minutes and he's eating every 2-3 hours, so I definitely feel like all he does is eat. We live 20 minutes from town, so getting out of the house in between feedings is very difficult and has to be timed just right. DS is pretty easy, he's not very fussy and sleeps really well, but it's still very taxing.?

mtnbride1 · January 2009

I think the first two months after you bring a new baby home are incredibly challenging. Two pieces of advice that were given to me by nurses in the hospital that helped - "It's going to seem like a lot of effort on your part with no returns in the beginning but it is worth it in the end" and "There are going to be times when you're dog-tired and you wonder why in hell you did this." I think about both often, but not as much as I did the first month. Just keep trucking and take it one day at a time. I often wonder how single moms do it - God bless them! It does get easier!

userdeleted · January 2009

Hated it!! I wondered almost every day what I had been thinking when I decided to have a baby, and honestly felt like there was no bond between my DS and I. He was so fussy and hard to manage, it just drained me.

I can tell you that probably 2 weeks ago a light switch flipped in him or something, and it's been totally different! He sleeps better, his needs are easier to predict and understand....I feel like I'm getting my sanity back, and I've totally fallen in love with him

Hang in there, I know everyone says this, but it DOES get better!

MelRoy · January 2009

I felt the exact same way, it's completely overwhelming! I hated bf in the beginning, and must have said I was quiting a million times. My son is now almost 4 months, and it's all so much easier. BF has gotten easier and less painful and we actually have somewhat of a clue how to take care of him! Take some time for yourself, leave the baby with your husband. Even going to the super market alone was a much needed break for me!

Cytina · January 2009

It is hard, incredibly hard. Luckily, things change - just when you'll think you can't take it anymore DC will do something that will make it all worth it. I remember when DS was 6 weeks old and he smiled at me for the first time, a real smile *tear*. Or this morning when he was crying at 5am in his crib and wanting a bottle. I was so frustrated b/c I didn't have to be up yet... then I went in there and picked him up and he just grinned at me, ear to ear. How could I be mad at that?

NewBlue · January 2009

This is a really hard time. I felt torn as well. Hang in there. In about a month (I know it seems forever away) he will smile at you and it makes it sooooo much easier and enjoyable.

EMWindy · January 2009

I was the same way, and I felt so bad about it.

But it will get better. Once your DC starts to really interact with you and smile and reacts to you, it will be a whole new ballgame.

DH and I called the first 8 weeks 'the blob stage'. You just try to survive and know that they are growing and advancing everyday, even though its so subtle you can barely notice. Between 2 and 3 months, she really changed and every day seems to hold 'fun times', not just survival.

Agrippa · January 2009

In all honesty, DH and I both despised the newborn stage. I didn't start liking DS that much until after he hit 3 mos.

It's one of the reasons that DS will be an only child.

chrisnj0614 · January 2009

Just know that the BFing DOES get MUCH easier. He is building your supply right now. Do not supplement. Colin was attached to me that first month and my supply is amazing because of it. The sleep DOES get better too. Unless he gets reflux....UGH.

I have a refluxy, gassy, colicky baby and he is still up every hour or 2 at night. Last night I brought him in bed with me and he slept 6 hours straight. But in the crib, it is a nightmare. We were back at the doctor today and his meds were switched. He has been a crying nightmare the past 2 days.

the smiles are the best too. just wait for that. Then the giggles...great stuff!

almost_mrs._culotta · January 2009

DS was born on 12/14, so I totally understand what you're going through. ?I wasn't doing anything for myself up until this week, when I discovered this trick....when they fall asleep on you after nursing, just let them sleep on you for awhile and sleep yourself, or read a book, or go online, or whatever. ?I just let him sleep on me for about an hour and then try to put him down for awhile. ?

I am not enjoying not being able to shower when I want to, or get meals made when I'm hungry, etc. ?I definitely didn't prep enough quick frozen stuff before I gave birth. ?It totally sucks that DH can't feed DS yet because all DS wants to do right now is eat! ?I'm also the one that has to get up with DS in the middle of the night and feed him etc because DH can't feed him, so there's no point to DH getting up at night. ?I do make him get up and put the paci back in sometimes...but usually DS really is hungry, so I end up getting up to feed him anyway.

?I'm there with you. ?I love my son, but I can't wait for him to grow out of the newborn phase! ?I'm looking forward to him smiling at me and being more responsive to us when he's awake....?although I'm sure I'll miss this phase when he's out of it! ?I hear every phase has its tough spots....

anls520 · January 2009

I felt the exact same way for the first two months of her life. Sleep deprivation and constant bfing is very hard, mentally and physically. I always told DH that if I could deliver a 2 month old we would be golden, lol. Don't feel bad, you're doing great.

rolltidebaby · January 2009

TOTALLY agree, and am glad to see so many others who do as well. It seems like I'm one of the only friends I know that felt this way, or would at least admit it. I thought the first 8 weeks in particular were very hard. The next four were better, but still hard and it's been a lot better after that. The smiles and the laughter from your baby really make a huge difference. Once that little personality starts developing, it gets more fun. It's still hard, but you can see the results of your efforts more. It does seem like time is standing still during those first few months.

My DH had a much harder time adjusting than either of us anticipated- he wanted a baby so badly- that added stress on me. However, all of that got much better around 8 weeks.

You realize that you can't tell a pregnant woman about how hard it is-- no one believes it until they live through it

samfish2bcrab · January 2009

I ahve an incredibly laid back baby and I went through this as well. One day i actually felt claustrophobic in my nursing chair. That's when I started pumping more so DH could give her a bottle.

CCinLove · January 2009

I'm signing in late, but I completely understand. I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle...I need to pump more so that I don't feel tethered to DS 24/7, but I don't have time or supply to pump because he wants to eat all the time. I just want to get away from him sometimes, but then I feel horribly guilty for feeling that way. I wish there was a boarding school for newborns Big Smile

It does seem thankless, since he doesn't interact with us very much. If I could just get a smile, I think I would feel validated. I've been told that it gets so much better after the first 6-8 weeks, so I'm just doing my best to get through the next few weeks. It's great to see that this is a pretty typical feeling.

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