I don't want to name my baby after my hubby!!

krystalR1129 · July 2015

The other day when a friend asked if we had thought of names I responded with yes and told them our choices the 2 boys names were the names we had picked out from when we were pregnant with our daughter. Jordan Joseph and Avery Joseph. When my hubby says no it will be Joseph (after him and his father) we had this discussion before I can not stand the whole naming baby after the dad thing I find it confusing and annoying always have (we had this convo the last pregnancy) this began an argument because he then said it will be Joseph I will fill out the BC while you're all out of it! Which just pissed me off more! I don't know what to do because I will not name this child Joseph I really don't like the name he is lucky I like him in spite of his name! Lol anyone else having a similar problem?

C3Duffy · July 2015

That is absolutely not cool that he said that. I'm sorry, what a dick move to pull. I don't like the naming after thing either, I have several family members that are named after their fathers and it has often been extremely confusing. When it comes down to it, that child is half you and half him. Neither of you can completely override the other. That will be your sons name for the rest of his and your lives and you don't want to hate it or be resentful of your husband everytime you hear/say it.

krystalR1129 · July 2015

See that is what I thought... Then I was like ok maybe I'm just hormonal And it struck a chord! I am not against it as a middle name as you can see by the name choices, which I felt was fair. I don't want this to cause a big problem but I already felt like I compromised and he is still being a dick about it! I'm just hoping he realizes he's being unfair! Because I really want a boy but this is starting to make me team girl! Lol

C3Duffy · July 2015

Haha I don't blame you, just be careful what you wish for. You could end up with a Josephine.

HBirdie · July 2015

Okay, yeah, a name is BOTH parents' choice. He can't fill out the info without your consent. That's just... no. You should probably talk to him about that when you aren't upset because that is NOT an okay threat to make.

You have LOTS of time to figure out a name that you both love. If you don't want his first name to be Joseph, that's okay, it doesn't have to be. Your H needs to compromise. It seems fair to put that in the MN spot. Or maybe you could come up with something similar but not exactly the same (Josiah? I don't know). Regardless, neither of you has a right to choose a name the other hates.

g0lightly8706 · July 2015

Omg. What an awful thing to say!! I'm so sorry he's acting like that.. It sounds like you guys really need to talk it over so that there's no hostility when the baby's here and its crunch time for the name.
I'm sort of in the same boat. My DH is named after his dad and it already drives me crazy when they're in the same room. They already tried to convince me on keeping it going and I shut them down so quickly. It is a mutual decision between us alone and I'm with you, I don't understand this tradition of naming kids after their father, especially when they already get the last name too. So stupid.

CuriousKiddosMama · July 2015

My husband had this though for like a minute with our first. I smacked it out of his head quickly. I told him unless he forever wants to be referred to by my family as big 'e' so baby could be called little 'e' he better forget about it.
I have a cousin and aunt with the same name, and when they are in the same room this is how they are addressed. Made sense when my cousin was young, but not so much now that she is 30 ish.

inomniaparatus · July 2015

My husband is the fourth generation to have his name and, as much as I don't like it, I will be having #5. I'm not thrilled about it but it's important to him so I'm going with it. But, I totally feel you! I'm kinda hoping for a girl lol.

inomniaparatus · July 2015

Oh forgot to add that I'm picking a nickname so it doesn't get confusing. DH doesn't like the idea of a nickname but I'm giving him the name, so he can concede on the nickname. His name will be john, so I'm thinking of calling him Jay or Jack.

DaisyTortilla · July 2015

DH insisted he wanted to "pass" his middle name to our son. I liked it so I didn't mind it, until, he slipped and said his gpa didn't have that name, as he had said. He said he wanted our son to have it because his dad has it. I put my foot down and said "heck no! That's not fair to my dad!" We argued over it until he understood and chose another name. It's tough, try talking in a calm manner, it helped with us.

ashesmart90 · July 2015

My ML is always trying to pressure us to name our child after her. She acctually said if we have a girl we should name her Page after her maiden name and if not that atleast take her first name. I hate how people expect you to name your children after your parents, it's just as annoying as people pressuring you to invite them to your wedding. Sorry your dealing with this. I hope he starts listening to what you want as well, it's all about compromise.

brushesnbrunch · July 2015

No one parent gets to override the other when it comes to this sort of topic. You both have to agree to it, or move on to another name. Thankfully we have plenty of time to come to agreements!

bredoll · July 2015

I'm sorry he is being so mean about it. I agree with pp that you need to talk to him about this when you are not upset and let him know that trying to trick or force you into signing the BC with a name you don't like will not end well. For me that would be a major breach of trust for my relationship and I don't think it's something I would be able to get over.

I have an acquaintance that one person got to pick the name but the other parent hated it so much they ended up each calling the child different things.

I'm having the same issue with my hubby. We haven't really started talking names yet but last time I was pregnant and when we talked names he mentioned not having a third but still giving the baby his first name, which isn't a name you can shorten or really change. I disagree and want to use his name as the middle name, maybe even having 2 middle names so I can use my dad's and my grandpa's name as the second middle name. We will see.

DaisyTortilla · July 2015

Also, I wanted to add, when I delivered both my babies, DH was never the one they contacted for the birth certificate. He didn't even have to sign it! They called me and asked him to hand me the phone, they asked me all of my info, the babies and DH. So if it works like it does here, he probably won't be able to do that. Goodluck!

egraves4 · July 2015

Not sure if anyone mentioned this, but I think you're doing him a huge favor by accepting Joseph at least as a middle name (there are plenty of names I would hate to use as a first, but be fine with as a middle). After all, there are plenty of kids that go by their middle names and if he decides down the line he wants to go by that, then so be it, but at least let him have a choice!

lauren0571 · July 2015

I had a similar experience to the one @dbautista88 described. I was the one they contacted about the all paperwork and my husband was right there.
Sorry he's not being more understanding. I think it works well as a MN.

sheashea407 · July 2015

I think using it as the MN is a good compromise and honors both of them, while giving baby his own identity.

Both parents choose the name, which is why if it's a girl, we're not having a "Princess Leia"...not just Leia, Princess Leia. DH is only half-joking.

cpearce828 · July 2015

I finally told my dh that I don't want to give our baby his grandma's name as a middle name. He just keeps saying well I still like Verla. Lol. I don't care. We both agree on Harper as a girls first name so maybe she just won't have a middle name..

charliegoldengirl · July 2015

Just saying ... I was pretty adamant on getting a full say in the name if our first born. However, after an intense and exhausting labor and delivery the midwife was like "so what is his name?" I looked straight to my husband and said "well? What is it?" He could've named the kid Taco and I would've been all "great! I love you baby Taco!"

Lucky for all three of us, he picked the name I wanted originally

Probs thought it was best after watching that ordeal I had gone through to get sweet little Taco* out of my body.

*my kid's name is NOT Taco. Someone in an earlier thread mentioned Taco Tuesday and so obvi they are on my brain.

FreshBakedBrownies · July 2015

charliegoldengirl said:
Just saying ... I was pretty adamant on getting a full say in the name if our first born. However, after an intense and exhausting labor and delivery the midwife was like "so what is his name?" I looked straight to my husband and said "well? What is it?" He could've named the kid Taco and I would've been all "great! I love you baby Taco!"

Lucky for all three of us, he picked the name I wanted originally Probs thought it was best after watching that ordeal I had gone through to get sweet little Taco* out of my body.

*my kid's name is NOT Taco. Someone in an earlier thread mentioned Taco Tuesday and so obvi they are on my brain.

This happened to me too! After the whole process of labor and then seeing my baby, I would've agreed to anything. The emotions were just indescribable. I gave in and agreed to the name my husband always wanted. I like my son's name now and don't have any regrets.

For the original poster, I would never agree to a junior, but if you're up to the third, fourth, fifth, etc, I'd be tempted to give in due to deep family history. However, if you hate the name, you just can't use it! He will have to understand.

brushesnbrunch · July 2015

charliegoldengirl said:

Just saying ... I was pretty adamant on getting a full say in the name if our first born. However, after an intense and exhausting labor and delivery the midwife was like "so what is his name?" I looked straight to my husband and said "well? What is it?" He could've named the kid Taco and I would've been all "great! I love you baby Taco!" Lucky for all three of us, he picked the name I wanted originally Probs thought it was best after watching that ordeal I had gone through to get sweet little Taco* out of my body. *my kid's name is NOT Taco. Someone in an earlier thread mentioned Taco Tuesday and so obvi they are on my brain.

I'll totally name my baby taco. Boy or girl, they're TACO!

FreshBakedBrownies · July 2015

Taco is perfect; gender neutral, goes with everything. Done!

cantobean · July 2015

Name the kid Taco and tell people it's pronounced "Tay-ko"

Latina211508 · July 2015

I think that's really selfish of him. Plus you as the mother are the one who fills out the paperwork. I'm all about meeting in the middle and compromising. If he can't do that then I would say absolutely no.

oxfordlanding · July 2015

My husband is named after his Dad. It's not even an unusual name so not like it needs to be preserved or anything. I think at least once a generation someone should put in the effort to come up with a new name. You get half the DNA from the Dad. You're clearly connected. It's your child! So sharing a name seems like overkill. Plus - confusing.

Interestingly I don't think I've ever heard of a girl being called after her Mum.

Anyone??

Did that ever happen?

(Except for dead Sybil on Downton Abbey).

Jstatton15 · July 2015

When naming my 5 year old his dad wanted to name him to be a Jr. So bad. I didn't want that at all. We finally compromised to the same initials. It made it kind of difficult and limited our choices but in the end we both loved it! I hope you guys can compromise about it!! However, he should learn quickly not to jack with a pregnant woman! We are all nuts! Hahaha

C3Duffy · July 2015

Yeah, I know one @oxfordlanding She goes by her middle name. I also know a baby girl named after her dad (FN is Ryan, so gender neutral now a day) and goes by her mn.

The BC lady comes into the room and with baby #1 I was actually still sleeping off my knockout drugs from the night before (that's a story in itself) so hubs filled out the entire thing without me... I was kind of heartbroken.

Of course there were no name discrepancies but still. So I find his threat a SUPER low blow.

AmanduhE · July 2015

My husband is a III and he wants to pass the name on but I refuse. I feel the same way, I don't like his name and don't feel my son (if we have a boy) should have to suffer to continue the trend. Whenever he brings it up with other people I ignore the conversation because the name will not be written on our child's birth certificate, not even as a middle name. Love my husband but the name has got to be stopped.

Miss Lilac · July 2015

Maybe you should demand that if it's a girl it be named after you?

krystalR1129 · July 2015

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and insight! I feel better knowing that others see where I am coming from! The funny thing is that if it is a girl my choice is Lilyanna, to be named some what after my MIL whose name is Lillian. Since our first daughter is Kailee kind of after my mother whose name is Kelly. And her middle name is Jean after both of our grandmothers. So I am not against family names I just want my children to have their own identities! I usually put a twist on them! I feel that making Joseph the middle name will give him his name within the name, and hope that he will come to see this! Again thank you all! And good luck with you baby naming adventures to come!!

HBirdie · July 2015

oxfordlanding said:
My husband is named after his Dad. It's not even an unusual name so not like it needs to be preserved or anything. I think at least once a generation someone should put in the effort to come up with a new name. You get half the DNA from the Dad. You're clearly connected. It's your child! So sharing a name seems like overkill. Plus - confusing.

Interestingly I don't think I've ever heard of a girl being called after her Mum.
Anyone??
Did that ever happen?
(Except for dead Sybil on Downton Abbey).

And Lorelai and Rory Gilmore

wisco29 · July 2015

dbautista88 said:
DH insisted he wanted to "pass" his middle name to our son. I liked it so I didn't mind it, until, he slipped and said his gpa didn't have that name, as he had said. He said he wanted our son to have it because his dad has it. I put my foot down and said "heck no! That's not fair to my dad!" We argued over it until he understood and chose another name. It's tough, try talking in a calm manner, it helped with us.

This is why we aren't naming any of our kids after our parents. They are already competitive And always trying to be better than each other!
Already worries me to name our baby after my moms side of my mils side because then they think they won. Ugh

Dd's first mame is after no one and her mn is after aunt/bff and she was named after my great grandpa (both on dads moms side) so it worked perfectly.

This baby if it's a boy his mn will be after my other great grandma (dads dads side)

Girl we have no idea for mn

lightrox · July 2015

My husband wanted a 3rd and I said no. I'm the one giving birth and going through everything he got the middle name I got the first. So both of my boys ended up with his middle name as theirs which was fine with me, but I vetoed every first name he liked because they weren't what I liked. Thankfully he liked my choices and they suit my children perfectly. Good luck I hope he sees reason during the next few months.

KaitM5 · July 2015

My husband is the third James in his family except none of them actually go by it...this will be our third baby, I'm hoping for a boy as we have two beautiful daughters, but I'm not in love with the idea of continuing the tradition. Hubby is adamant that the first name be James, but then doesn't like many of the options I pick as middle names/ nicknames... dang it! We have time to figure it out, you are not alone!!!

chitownparent · July 2015

oxfordlanding said:

My husband is named after his Dad. It's not even an unusual name so not like it needs to be preserved or anything. I think at least once a generation someone should put in the effort to come up with a new name. You get half the DNA from the Dad. You're clearly connected. It's your child! So sharing a name seems like overkill. Plus - confusing.

Interestingly I don't think I've ever heard of a girl being called after her Mum.
Anyone??
Did that ever happen?
(Except for dead Sybil on Downton Abbey).

Poor Sybil! :,( Now I'm thinking of that name! I agree--don't let your husband change your mind. Maybe just tell him you're thinking about it and then don't discuss it around him for a while.

OctoberStars · July 2015

HBirdie said:

oxfordlanding said:
My husband is named after his Dad. It's not even an unusual name so not like it needs to be preserved or anything. I think at least once a generation someone should put in the effort to come up with a new name. You get half the DNA from the Dad. You're clearly connected. It's your child! So sharing a name seems like overkill. Plus - confusing.

Interestingly I don't think I've ever heard of a girl being called after her Mum.
Anyone??
Did that ever happen?
(Except for dead Sybil on Downton Abbey).
And Lorelai and Rory Gilmore

I love the Gilmore girls! Recently I have been thinking about Rory as a girl's name, but I don't really think I could go for it since female Rory is only from that show. I'm generally not a huge fan of gender swapping names especially if it's rarely done with that particular name. But but Rory is so awesome! Maybe for a boy...

ohbaby714 · July 2015

OctoberStars said:

HBirdie said:

oxfordlanding said:
My husband is named after his Dad. It's not even an unusual name so not like it needs to be preserved or anything. I think at least once a generation someone should put in the effort to come up with a new name. You get half the DNA from the Dad. You're clearly connected. It's your child! So sharing a name seems like overkill. Plus - confusing.

Interestingly I don't think I've ever heard of a girl being called after her Mum.
Anyone??
Did that ever happen?
(Except for dead Sybil on Downton Abbey).
And Lorelai and Rory Gilmore
I love the Gilmore girls! Recently I have been thinking about Rory as a girl's name, but I don't really think I could go for it since female Rory is only from that show. I'm generally not a huge fan of gender swapping names especially if it's rarely done with that particular name. But but Rory is so awesome! Maybe for a boy...

You could do the name Aurora and do Rory for short.

kfaust374 · July 2015

First - I think this decision is up to both parents and I hope you two can come to a decision you both love.

Second - my hubby is a III, if we have a boy and he wants to name him the IV, I will be supportive. I am not worried about my dad being upset, he has a very Arab name (I am Lebanese and he was born there). His first name just wouldn't sound right with our very German last name lol

Third - my nickname in High School and college was Taco (derived from people not being able to pronounce my maiden name), and I've got to tell you, it wasn't that bad!!

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