Nosy people

ChitownHusker · June 2015

We went on a double date with my brother in law and his girlfriend last night and she basically cornered me in the bathroom and asked how I was feeling because she noticed I wasn't drinking. And she said it in that way that she was basically asking me to tell her I'm pregnant. I said I was fine and made a very weak lie about giving up booze. I'm just over 7 weeks along and we haven't told anyone but our parents so I don't know why this girl thinks I would remotely spill to her. I'm just aggravated she even put me in that position to have to try to lie or fake my way out of answering that question. I feel like the rest of my friends notice I'm not drinking, and obviously come to their own conclusions but are not rude and don't "confront" me about it. They know I'll tell them when we are ready and can talk all they want behind my back but I thought it was so rude to even ask (or sidestep into asking). Anyone else dealing with this? I'm still so mad about it and my hubs is annoyed as well.

LMMama · June 2015

My BF's sister approached us and flat out asked if I was pregnant last week ( I was only 6 weeks at the time). We ended up telling her. I think people just get really excited at the prospect of a new baby. I try not to take it as rude. It's a long 9 months of people thinking your business is their business.

camusoh2011 · June 2015

My neighbors up and asked me one day when I was bringing over a box of toys for them. I thought it was strange because we had just found out ourselves and nothing had really been different for us. I found out later that her son in law (who also lives there) had asked my husband about it too. Not sure how they knew, but we have been very open so we were just honest with them.

4N6s · June 2015

She just doesn't get it. I don't think she was being malicious, just wanted to know.

FreshBakedBrownies · June 2015

It's often not until you've been pregnant and sometimes not until you've experienced a loss that it even dawns on someone that this puts you in an awkward position and is rude.
Sorry!

laurenpatricia81 · June 2015

Sorry this happened to you.

I will never understand why people think it is okay to ask this!

brushesnbrunch · June 2015

A friend of mine confronted me through text message and got pissed because I didn't pass the news on right as we found out. I think she thought I was further along than I really am. When I explained I haven't had an ultrasound, she felt like an asshole.

ErinC1014 · June 2015

I have a friend with a reputation of calling out people for not drinking. I love her, but it's really annoying. With my first two kids, I made up some lie. This time I was just like YESIMPREGNANT, k? She doesn't have kids yet, so I guess she just doesn't get it.

middy411 · June 2015

Seems like everyone around me has no problem asking when we will be having kids or even offering suggestions on when they'd like us to start. I've had a friend ask me when I planned to start trying and stared at me as if I should have an easy answer. I stuttered over my words saying that I didn't think I was going to make an announcement about when me and my husband planned to start what can be a difficult journey of TTC. People just don't get it at all. I am only hoping I can make it through the next 6 weeks without being asked if I'm pregnant or when I will start TTC by people who probably would be the last to find out anyways! Ugh. SideNote: I also feel bad lying when people ask when we are going to start a family because at 6 weeks, I already consider this bundle of joy family! Anybody else feel guilt about lying about the existence of their pregnancy?

lilqt3929 · June 2015

middy411 said:
Seems like everyone around me has no problem asking when we will be having kids or even offering suggestions on when they'd like us to start. I've had a friend ask me when I planned to start trying and stared at me as if I should have an easy answer. I stuttered over my words saying that I didn't think I was going to make an announcement about when me and my husband planned to start what can be a difficult journey of TTC. People just don't get it at all. I am only hoping I can make it through the next 6 weeks without being asked if I'm pregnant or when I will start TTC by people who probably would be the last to find out anyways! Ugh. SideNote: I also feel bad lying when people ask when we are going to start a family because at 6 weeks, I already consider this bundle of joy family! Anybody else feel guilt about lying about the existence of their pregnancy?

Yes, I do. I haven't had anyone ask if I'm pregnant yet but instead ask when we will have another LO, I've just replied hopefully soon. If someone were to ask me straight out if I were pregnant, I'd try my best to beat around the bush and not lie but that's just me. They can think or assume whatever they want from my answer. I know they will be shocked when we do finally announce

borgahurst · June 2015

ss456 said:
It's often not until you've been pregnant and sometimes not until you've experienced a loss that it even dawns on someone that this puts you in an awkward position and is rude.
Sorry!

This! After our losses I am just blown away by the way people can be so brazen with those questions. I am not sure how I was before that but I can tell you I certainly didn't think much of it if I did ask others. Experience gives you such a different perspective!

MarcoMama86 · June 2015

Sorry this happened. My father in law cornered my husband a few weeks ago and asked when I'm due because I didn't want wine (I honestly never want wine so I'm not sure how me declining led him to thinking I'm pregnant). I was super annoyed it happened.

We also had the issue that after we did tell our immediately family this week my father in law then proceeded to tell his 3 brothers about it who I am sure spread the word further.

ChitownHusker · June 2015

Yes! @middy411 me too! That's why I think it's really awful to be cornered like I was. I've been trying to get sodas and limes (fake gin and tonics) where I can but I feel like if you notice, just don't say anything and I promise we will tell you when it's time. It's not like we can keep the secret forever! Just give me a few more weeks!

name1109 · June 2015

I love people (sarcasm). I also love the unsolicited advice I get for our 2.5 year old little girl. <<Insert comments about people's belief on spanking or not spanking etc etc etc>>. Thankfully we haven't had any cornering this time.

The last time I was expecting (I work with mostly men...I hadn't told them I was pregnant) one of them commented he thought he'd caught what I had because he felt awful one morning. I assured him it (morning sickness) wasn't contagious.

Bracecurran · June 2015

I'm not sure why this topic is such a hot button... People are naturally curious and honestly you should be flattered that she even cared. We have been trying for over a week to get in touch with my hubby's mother and she won't call us back. She's one of the only people that doesn't know where expecting. When we told my brother in law he acted like it was nothing and didn't congratulate us until 20 mins later... I wish more people cared about us being pregnant with our baby # 2.

ChitownHusker · June 2015

The manager of my department just asked me today. I must have been a huge drinker previously, yeesh! I turned it into that someone was implying I've gained weight which really kind of cuts that convo off at the knees. Apparently everyone at work is thinking it about me being pregnant now. I told my manager everyone is baby crazy. It's going to be a looooooong month.

Having girlfriends over for dinner tonight, more avoiding drinking and not telling. My husband really wants to wait until the end of first trimester to tell just to be safe.

wisco29 · June 2015

laurenpatricia81 said:
Sorry this happened to you. I will never understand why people think it is okay to ask this!

Can you tell my mil that it's rude to ask this?

ChitownHusker · July 2015

Update- got ANOTHER person at work asking if I was pregnant. I asked if I was looking plump or what these days? She said it was because of my not drinking. I asserted I was drinking at a work happy hour last week and she told me that someone who was there asked the waitress what I had ordered after I left and the waitress told them club soda. I mean talk about NOSY! I know my coworkers are just excited and they'll be thrilled for me but why can't people just leave well enough alone?

Still have a MONTH before I tell them...

funkypineapple · July 2015

lilqt3929 said:

Seems like everyone around me has no problem asking when we will be having kids or even offering suggestions on when they'd like us to start. I've had a friend ask me when I planned to start trying and stared at me as if I should have an easy answer. I stuttered over my words saying that I didn't think I was going to make an announcement about when me and my husband planned to start what can be a difficult journey of TTC. People just don't get it at all. I am only hoping I can make it through the next 6 weeks without being asked if I'm pregnant or when I will start TTC by people who probably would be the last to find out anyways! Ugh. SideNote: I also feel bad lying when people ask when we are going to start a family because at 6 weeks, I already consider this bundle of joy family! Anybody else feel guilt about lying about the existence of their pregnancy?
Yes, I do. I haven't had anyone ask if I'm pregnant yet but instead ask when we will have another LO, I've just replied hopefully soon. If someone were to ask me straight out if I were pregnant, I'd try my best to beat around the bush and not lie but that's just me. They can think or assume whatever they want from my answer. I know they will be shocked when we do finally announce

My response to "when are you going to start a family" would have been something like "we started it X years ago when we got married." and just left it at that.

I had a friend I ended up telling last week and she's been through a MC before so she told me that she'd been dying to ask how things were going/if we were still trying/etc. but that she didn't like to pry in case we were having problems TTC. I really appreciated it. I have another girl I know who is the exact opposite -needless to say, she'll be one of the last to know

kayjay44 · July 2015

Because people in general have no sense of boundaries these days. It's really unfortunate because I'm a huge fan/proponent of boundaries.

Katty422 · July 2015

Yes happens every day at work. My hubby and I met at work and people just flat out ask me or they say "im.next" and such. Been lying basically everyday. People are crazy! I personally would never put someone on the spot like this. Also I just v told my family last weekend my crazy sister in law cornered me and flat out asked. I think it's rude ... my husband and i both had to soak the news and wrap our brain around the fact that we were finally having a baby.

LEAA14 · July 2015

One of my groups of friends is obsessed with whether or not I'm drinking. I went out with some of them for dinner for my birthday the other night, and one of the girls who wasn't there just texted me that she heard I wasn't drinking at my birthday dinner! People! I will tell you when I'm ready! I'm not going to be able to hide it forever. I don't mind if they guess but I don't want them to confront me about it. I have another dinner thing with them later this week, and I'm planning to bring some bottles of beer that my husband has switched out with apple juice and recapped. Maybe that will shut them up.

borgahurst · July 2015

Last night my favorite thing happened.

A new girlfriend of a friend of ours asked another friend of mine when she was planning on getting pregnant. As with many of us, it's a touchy question for her and she answered abruptly and moved on. But after an awkward pause she turned to the girlfriend and said "well since we are being so open, when are you two getting married?"

That shut her up real quick. It was a hilarious exchange to witness!

mrsjames91209 · July 2015

I despise the "When are you going to have another baby?" question. Ummm I don't know! It isn't exactly in my control! My older son is 4 so we've been getting that question for 4 years. I was off birth control for 2 1/2 years before I got pregnant. I never knew how to answer that question.
Also, I hate "Are you guys trying?" What does that even mean? We're having the sex! Is that your question? Are you asking if I'm tracking my ovulation patterns? I don't understand!

These are things I will never ask someone else.

ChitownHusker · July 2015

LEAA14 said:
One of my groups of friends is obsessed with whether or not I'm drinking. I went out with some of them for dinner for my birthday the other night, and one of the girls who wasn't there just texted me that she heard I wasn't drinking at my birthday dinner! People! I will tell you when I'm ready! I'm not going to be able to hide it forever. I don't mind if they guess but I don't want them to confront me about it. I have another dinner thing with them later this week, and I'm planning to bring some bottles of beer that my husband has switched out with apple juice and recapped. Maybe that will shut them up.

@LEAA14 I'm going to need to know how your husband did that! What a great guy, I could use those right now!

princesspriscilla · July 2015

This is my first pregnancy.. I'm 7 weeks and already feel frustrated that some family members feel this is their business to tell, not ours. We broke the news at dinner to my MIL and step-FIL... Before the dinner was even over, her husband was on the phone with all of his friends telling our news. My MIL even made a comment, (because ladies understand how intruding this can be!) "Gosh, what if they didn't want everyone to know?" She took the words out of my mouth. Annoyed and wished we had told her alone in private without him around.

LEAA14 · July 2015

ChitownHusker said:

One of my groups of friends is obsessed with whether or not I'm drinking. I went out with some of them for dinner for my birthday the other night, and one of the girls who wasn't there just texted me that she heard I wasn't drinking at my birthday dinner! People! I will tell you when I'm ready! I'm not going to be able to hide it forever. I don't mind if they guess but I don't want them to confront me about it. I have another dinner thing with them later this week, and I'm planning to bring some bottles of beer that my husband has switched out with apple juice and recapped. Maybe that will shut them up.
@LEAA14 I'm going to need to know how your husband did that! What a great guy, I could use those right now!

@ChitownHusker -- DH homebrews and has a gadget that he uses for capping his beer bottles. He just uses that and doesn't change the labels on my faux beer.

ChitownHusker · July 2015

@LEAA14 your man could make a killing on fake beers for preggos. I'd buy a 6 pack for sure. Everyone has been so up in my business.

BabySeaTurtles · July 2015

ChitownHusker said:
@LEAA14 your man could make a killing on fake beers for preggos. I'd buy a 6 pack for sure. Everyone has been so up in my business.

I'd buy a pack too!

MrsJ2522 · July 2015

@LEAA14 make sure you have at least one real beer in the bunch in case someone wants to try the home brew!

7ie1z · July 2015

I have a long-term friend who has constantly asked me on Viber (she lives in a different country) if I have got 'anything new' (means being pregnant). Like she literally asks that every week, although I told her before that it might take up to a year to conceive. I know I made a mistake of telling her that I was planning to TTC soon (after getting all the necessary vaccinations). But ughhh I didn't expect to be asked all the time like that.... So annoying!!!

Luckily I got a BFP after just one cycle, but I still don't wanna tell her just yet (I'm 7wk1d). I guess I would have told her already if she didn't keep on asking me like that... I understand she means well (and she would be happy for me), but still I'm not ready. My first appointment won't be until I'm 11wk...

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