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so this happened to me today. breastfeeding in public

dominican22dominican22 member
in 3rd Trimester
today was my little cousins 1st birthday well my other cousin has 2 girls one on them is 3 months and shes solely breastfed. my cousin isnt as discreet as i was with my first but we were around family and i agree that breastfeeding is better than being formula fed. so a close family friend a woman was sitting next to me and she commented that she doesnt understand why my cousin doesnt formula feed as well that she had just fed maybe 2 hours ago and she didnt understand why the baby was hungry again that maybe she should formula feed too so the baby can get full she only said this because she had fallen asleep and when she woke up she was hungry again well hello shes a baby thats mainly what they do eat sleep poop and throw up, it just kinda ticked me off that she said that having a daughter of her own everybody has their own opinion but sometimes they should keep it to themselves. im planning on solely breastfeeding this time around too and i give kuddos to my cousin only being 18 and having 2 daughters only a year apart people should take that into consideration and stop being so judgemental.sorry had to vent 

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    Re: so this happened to me today. breastfeeding in public

    • Knottie64157109Knottie64157109 member
      Ya that lady is nuts, the kid is only three months and could be going through a growth spurt.

      Full disclosure though, it does make me uncomfortable when I see a kid walking and talking still breastfeeding. Also I do get upset when anyone pops a boob out at the dinner table, lol.
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    • Knottie64157109Knottie64157109 member
      Actually my second and we can agree to disagree on this one. Personal preference.
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    • dominican22dominican22 member
      @knottie64157109 i agree babies basically only need it for the first year my son was big to begin with thats the only reason i stopped once he started walking and on top of that my milk supply was drying up too. this reminds me of that movie grown ups when his wife pops out her boob at a plaground and the guy friend asks the husband how old is your son and he says 48 months lmao and the friend says isnt that 4?
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    • dominican22dominican22 member
      @nosugarcoating hey both our sons are going to be around the same ago except mines already turned 4 a month ago
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    • dominican22dominican22 member
      lets just stay at everybody has thheir own opinion and we have to find a way to deal with everybodys comment
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    • NoSugarCoatingNoSugarCoating member
      Knottie64157109 said:

      Actually my second and we can agree to disagree on this one. Personal preference.

      Except a nursing mother had a lethal right to breastfeed in public in the US (not sure of the laws in other countries). You, on the other hand, do not have a right to never be offended in public.
      DS1: BFP 04/03/11 | EDD 12/02/11 | born 11/21/11 
      DS2: BFP 02/09/13 | EDD 10/26/13 | said goodbye 06/02/13
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    • YogaSandyYogaSandy member
      NoSugarCoating said:

      Knottie64157109 said:

      Actually my second and we can agree to disagree on this one. Personal preference.

      Except a nursing mother had a lethal right to breastfeed in public in the US (not sure of the laws in other countries). You, on the other hand, do not have a right to never be offended in public.
      Canada is the same way - if you meant legal ;)

      The book the health unit gave me, printed by the Ontario government, said bf-ing is a human right and if anyone violates that right of yours, call whatever number to lodge a complaint. Not that I did (prob wouldn't have anyway), but no one ever questioned my right to bf in public. And I would have put them in their place if they had. I actually thought someone was going to once. I was out of town and at the mall (food court - but I felt most comfortable covered - don't care if anyone else is though). A woman came up to me. She just said good on you for doing it in public bc so many people feel they can't. I told her I refuse to feed my son in the bathroom and I don't do it in public to make a statement. I just do it to feed my kid - but if anyone questioned it, I sure would. Everyone else was having lunch in the food court, why shouldn't DS?

      DH has asked me if I wanted to go somewhere more private before. I told him no, DS is just eating like everyone else, if they have a problem with it, it's their problem, not ours. He said he just thought maybe I was uncomfortable out in the open. Told him I didn't care. He never mentioned it again. Again, I always felt most comfortable (except at home) with my cover. But that definitely stems from my own body issues and not wanting anyone to see my body at all (esp post baby).
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    • NoSugarCoatingNoSugarCoating member
      YogaSandy said:

      NoSugarCoating said:

      Knottie64157109 said:

      Actually my second and we can agree to disagree on this one. Personal preference.

      Except a nursing mother had a lethal right to breastfeed in public in the US (not sure of the laws in other countries). You, on the other hand, do not have a right to never be offended in public.
      Canada is the same way - if you meant legal ;)
      LOL stupid autocorrect. I usually proofread before posting, but didn't that time.
      DS1: BFP 04/03/11 | EDD 12/02/11 | born 11/21/11 
      DS2: BFP 02/09/13 | EDD 10/26/13 | said goodbye 06/02/13
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    • 907_baby907_baby member
      Knottie64157109 said:
      "Also I do get upset when anyone pops a boob out at the dinner table, lol."

      Personal opinion here: the operative term here would be "pops". Example, a woman discretely feeding her infant should not cause any alarm to anyone, regardless of location. However, if in the name of feeding your child you have to fully expose your breast where you normally wouldn't, you may be taking it a bit far. I'm not even talking about using a blanket or cover when it is hot, so don't start that argument...
      Image result for breastfeeding modest VS Image result for breastfeeding exposed

      I can't be the only one that sees the difference in these, even though neither is using a cover, right?

      And before I get the same accusation as mentioned above: I am pregnant with my second, and exclusively breastfed my first.


      Joey 06.05.2010, MC Jan 2014-EDD 09.11.2014, Aurelia 08.24.2015 (lost twin ~12 weeks), Ectopic Loss Feb 2016, EDD 01.03.2018
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    • 907_baby907_baby member
      @KateLouise Just to clarify, I am not saying in anyway that one picture or the other is "wrong". All I am saying is that I do understand people's aversion to the picture on the right. She is exposed. Yes-she is feeding her child, and this should take precedence over other people's feelings. But I do understand when people are taken back by a fully exposed breast when they didn't pay for "dinner and a show", so to speak.
      Joey 06.05.2010, MC Jan 2014-EDD 09.11.2014, Aurelia 08.24.2015 (lost twin ~12 weeks), Ectopic Loss Feb 2016, EDD 01.03.2018
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    • PixieBeckPixieBeck member
      Um the baby I watch is now 6 months old and she's formula fed. She also is and has been for a while getting a 6 ounce bottle every two hours. They just started giving her cereal at night. Other than that she is normal and healthy but small 6 month old baby.
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    • SaltyMcNultySaltyMcNulty member
      PixieBeck said:
      Um the baby I watch is now 6 months old and she's formula fed. She also is and has been for a while getting a 6 ounce bottle every two hours. They just started giving her cereal at night. Other than that she is normal and healthy but small 6 month old baby.
      huh?
      Married July 2009, Rescue dog adopted September 2010, DS born June 2012
      Expecting LO2 in February 2016
      Ghost of MrsMuq
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    • KateLouiseKateLouise member
      Sib4jojo said:
      @KateLouise Just to clarify, I am not saying in anyway that one picture or the other is "wrong". All I am saying is that I do understand people's aversion to the picture on the right. She is exposed. Yes-she is feeding her child, and this should take precedence over other people's feelings. But I do understand when people are taken back by a fully exposed breast when they didn't pay for "dinner and a show", so to speak.

      You say you're not judging either picture, except your statement, "if in the name of feeding your child you have to fully expose your breast where you normally wouldn't, you may be taking it a bit far.' implies judgement, and also implies that the breastfeeding mother is trying to do something other than feed her child, like show off her breasts, and I was simply pointing out that lots of tops are easier to access from the top



      image
      Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
      image


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    • 907_baby907_baby member
      edited June 2015
      Implications be dammed. You can't tell me what my opinions are, and I'm not trying to change anyone else's. All I am saying is: I understand when people are taken back by full on exposure. I see the differences, I personally am not offended by either type of breastfeeding. But I understand where @Knottie64157109 was coming from. Read it however you want, that is everybody's right.
      Joey 06.05.2010, MC Jan 2014-EDD 09.11.2014, Aurelia 08.24.2015 (lost twin ~12 weeks), Ectopic Loss Feb 2016, EDD 01.03.2018
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    • amp61470amp61470 member
      I am a FTM and on the fence about this conversation. On one hand I feel it shouldn't matter on the other hand I wouldn't want to make people uncomfortable. I wouldn't breastfeed at the dinner table unless I was at home and we didn't have company. It's about respecting others. I would not feel comfortable as the woman on the Right does. I wish I did, but it wouldn't happen. I also only plan on breast feeding for 6 months or so. We shall see.
      Missed Miscarriage 3/27 D&C 3/29/2012
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    • YogaSandyYogaSandy member
      amp61470 said:

      I am a FTM and on the fence about this conversation. On one hand I feel it shouldn't matter on the other hand I wouldn't want to make people uncomfortable. I wouldn't breastfeed at the dinner table unless I was at home and we didn't have company. It's about respecting others. I would not feel comfortable as the woman on the Right does. I wish I did, but it wouldn't happen. I also only plan on breast feeding for 6 months or so. We shall see.

      What makes you feel comfortable is none of my business. However, if everyone else is allowed to eat at the dinner table at meal time, why would it be inappropriate for your child to eat at the table? Not trying to change your mind - just food for thought.

      I also found it physically awkward to feed at the table. If there was a choice - I would move to the couch. And I only ever fed uncovered around DH, mom, MIL, SILs, my sister, and my aunts. I lived with my parents when DS had colic and my husband contracted a life threatening illness. I would feed uncovered unless my dad was home - I didn't want him to be uncomfortable. I don't know if he would have been. I didn't ask.

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    • NoSugarCoatingNoSugarCoating member
      amp61470 said:
      I am a FTM and on the fence about this conversation. On one hand I feel it shouldn't matter on the other hand I wouldn't want to make people uncomfortable. I wouldn't breastfeed at the dinner table unless I was at home and we didn't have company. It's about respecting others. I would not feel comfortable as the woman on the Right does. I wish I did, but it wouldn't happen. I also only plan on breast feeding for 6 months or so. We shall see.
      No, it's not. Your only concern is feeding your baby. It is not your job to make others comfortable. 
      DS1: BFP 04/03/11 | EDD 12/02/11 | born 11/21/11 
      DS2: BFP 02/09/13 | EDD 10/26/13 | said goodbye 06/02/13
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    • KateLouiseKateLouise member
      Out of curiosity, what is it about the dinner table that makes people uncomfortable? I was thinking about it today, and wondering if it's the idea of it being a "polite" or formal space where people eat, or if it's the actual physical space and logistics of it.

      In other words, what has made me a little uncomfortable about it  at times is sitting in close proximity to someone directly across from them while my breasts are exposed to whatever degree, as opposed to say in the lounge where they might be on another couch across the room. I'm not at all fussed about it being a "polite" place and breastfeeding being proper or not.

      Feeling uncomfortable doesn't stop me doing it, and it depends on who is sitting opposite me, but I do feel more self-conscious if it's a male friend of DH's as opposed to my sister. But if I'm out at a cafe with a group of Mums, someone is sure to be at the table breastfeeding, and it doesn't cross my mind for a second to be upset by it because we're at a table eating food.

      Does that make sense? It made sense in my head :)

      I agree with @NoSugarCoating I think Mums should be worrying first and foremost about feeding their baby in a way that works for them and their child.

      @Sib4jojo I wasn't trying to tell you your opinion, I was trying to point out how, what you wrote read. 
      image
      Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
      image


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    • dominican22dominican22 member
      @saltymcnulty i couldnt have said it better myself
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    • BafryBafry member
      edited July 2015
      While there is nothing wrong w "popping you're tit out", I certainly don't want my husband seeing other women's boobs and I don't want other men seeing mine. Yes, bfing is natural, but yes men, as well as boys, are generally inappropriate. Take it as you will, modesty is still modesty no matter what topic at the discussion board. Of course, we all know that most people on any of these threads are all judgmental little children, so I will put the disclaimer out there that this is just my opinion and if you want the world to see you're tits, you are more than welcome to pull them out however you'd like. (I like using the word tits because it emphasizes the way males think when you are breastfeeding. Lol)
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    • NoSugarCoatingNoSugarCoating member
      edited July 2015
      Bafry said:
      While there is nothing wrong w "popping you're tit out", I certainly don't want my husband seeing other women's boobs and I don't want other men seeing mine. Yes, bfing is natural, but yes men, as well as boys, are generally inappropriate. Take it as you will, modesty is still modesty no matter what topic at the discussion board. Of course, we all know that most people on any of these threads are all judgmental little children, so I will put the disclaimer out there that this is just my opinion and if you want the world to see you're tits, you are more than welcome to pull them out however you'd like. (I like using the word tits because it emphasizes the way males think when you are breastfeeding. Lol)
      This "boys will be boys" attitude is NO REASON for women not to BF in public. It's absolutely ridiculous that we don't expect men and boys to take responsibility for their actions and NOT act inappropriately. 

      Also, WE are judgmental, but YOU are the one calling breasts "tits"? Riiiiiiiiight. 
      DS1: BFP 04/03/11 | EDD 12/02/11 | born 11/21/11 
      DS2: BFP 02/09/13 | EDD 10/26/13 | said goodbye 06/02/13
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    • BafryBafry member
      edited July 2015
      @NoSugarCoating: You can think what you want. I'm just giving you a taste of what's going through the male mind. I could care less if I walked by some lady with her boob out. I'm very comfortable with my body and bodies in general (I work at a pool where everyone is always half dressed anyway) and I agree that they can bf however and wherever.... But a) I said brains, not actions... It's a little hard to call a guy out on what's going through his brain when he's not acting on it...and just because he does what he should, doesn't change what he is thinking. B) what guys should do and what goes through their brain are two different things. Just because the world should be a certain way, doesn't mean we can ignore the reality of how it is. Or I guess you can ignore it, but
      It doesn't change the reality... Go ahead and pop those boobs out, all power to you. I'll cont using modesty.., judge me for tht if you'd like. I'm confedient in my own lifestyle. Ps, how is "tit" judgment? Lol. Oh and also, I didn't say I won't breast feed in public, I just implied that I will use a cover or even just discretion instead of just flipping it out for display... That's my choice, and that what I am going to do.
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    • NoSugarCoatingNoSugarCoating member
      Bafry said:
      @NoSugarCoating: You can think what you want. I'm just giving you a taste of what's going through the male mind. I could care less if I walked by some lady with her boob out. I'm very comfortable with my body and bodies in general (I work at a pool where everyone is always half dressed anyway) and I agree that they can bf however and wherever.... But a) I said brains, not actions... It's a little hard to call a guy out on what's going through his brain when he's not acting on it...and just because he does what he should, doesn't change what he is thinking. B) what guys should do and what goes through their brain are two different things. Just because the world should be a certain way, doesn't mean we can ignore the reality of how it is. Or I guess you can ignore it, but It doesn't change the reality... Go ahead and pop those boobs out, all power to you. I'll cont using modesty.., judge me for tht if you'd like. I'm confedient in my own lifestyle. Ps, how is "tit" judgment? Lol. Oh and also, I didn't say I won't breast feed in public, I just implied that I will use a cover or even just discretion instead of just flipping it out for display... That's my choice, and that what I am going to do.
      Who are all these women who are "flipping" their boobs out?? You talk about using discretion -- THAT IS THE NORM. I swear, these women flashing their boobs to everyone while they are breastfeeding are like welfare queens -- they are a myth! 
      DS1: BFP 04/03/11 | EDD 12/02/11 | born 11/21/11 
      DS2: BFP 02/09/13 | EDD 10/26/13 | said goodbye 06/02/13
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