UPDATE- Maternity Leave: How do you know when it's time?

Jessa1404 · July 2015

Hi fellow August mommies! I'm starting to struggle with something, and I was hoping for some advice. I was trying to work until August 1st (a week before my due date), but I'm starting to think I want to go on maternity leave earlier. I'm torn, though, because the weeks I get are limited, and any weeks I use now, I'll lose after the baby is born.

I don't have any specific medical reason why I can't keep working. My doctor seems to be OK with my decision either way, but I have been having very swollen legs, ankles, and hands, I'm exhausted all the time, and my first trimester nausea is coming back on and off. My job doesn't put a lot of physical stress on me, but I commute 3-4 hours each day, and that part is just terrible, no matter how I try to adjust it.

Temporary part time and work from home aren't an option at my job, so it's really an all or nothing thing. I just feel like I'm stuck in the middle: I'm not on bed rest or anything, but I feel awful. How do I know when to just call it and go out? Can anyone else share how they made/are making the decision? Any and all advice is much appreciated! (Sorry, this got kind of long).

ann_jeremiah · July 2015

I would and have worked up until I was in labor. Hanging out at home every day wondering if today is the day, gets a little old... As I've done that too.

PixelPosy · July 2015

Make sure you discuss your options with HR and your manager. FMLA only applies if there is a qualifying reason you need to stop work, which sounds like there is not in this case if your doctor is not restricting your ability to work at this time. There was a post earlier that someone felt they were essentially fired for electing to take leave early. But they didn't qualify for any protections.

I'm not in the same situation as you, since I can freely work from home and my commute is only 45 minutes when I do need to be in the office. I plan to work right up to the birth. My company's policy allows you to start STD 1 week before the due date at which point FMLA starts as well, but I don't plan to start it early. Of course with my first I was put on bed rest at 36 weeks, so these babies like to throw curve balls at us and our plans!

Saratiff · July 2015

I would call your HR department and find out your options. I'm a nurse at a hospital we can go on short term disability a month before with a real medical reason like pre e or pre term labor. I want to try and work as long as I can but if I feel like I'm done I'm done.

aluapaniri · July 2015

It's a tough decision that I'm struggling with it myself now. Was planning to work until 38 weeks(now 36), but I have a very physical job and have been dealing with intermittent pelvic pain that is really making it difficult. But if I go out early I let a lot of patients down(I'm a surgeon so I'd be canceling operations and procedures).
I think everyone's situation is different and you would have to make the decision after speaking to HR as well. I can't imagine getting thru a 3-4 hour commute though right now. Good luck.

MouseMama817 · July 2015

Definitely talk to HR about your options. I was able to go out on STD first without interfering with my maternity leave

bpwife&mama · July 2015

I haven't explored my options yet, but I am trying hard to stick it out until I go into labor. I too am swollen and physically exhausted at the end of the day, but I have 12 weeks after baby is born and I want them to be spent with my kids. That being said, you need to explore your options if you feel it's time to be done.

SassetteSmurfling · July 2015

I guess it would depend on your works policies and the laws in your state. For me, I can't just stop working because I feel like it. And honestly I wouldn't want to. My plan with all 3 of my pregnancies has been to work until delivery, which I did with my first two. This time around I'm on bed rest so I'm out of work, but so far I've only missed a half a day and I'm already getting bored, so I would strongly encourage you to work as long as you are able.

cosplaymom · July 2015

Keep working as long as you can. Your due date is not likely to be the day your baby actually arrives.

My first was a whole nine days late! If I had stopped working a week before my due date then that would have been two and a half weeks taken out of FMLA.

JSmith42514 · July 2015

To echo PP, speak with your HR and see what applies to you. In California where I live I get 4 weeks before my due date and 6/8 weeks after delivery and all of that falls under disability so I had to get a note from my doc.

chshannon · July 2015

Depending on your daycare situation some daycares won't take little ones until they are so many week so you may need to stay home the weeks after the baby is born

jesselayne8 · July 2015

I quit work at 36wks with my first baby because I had a 100 mile commute each way and I was working 12hr shifts. I regretted it. Baby didn't come until 9 days late and I was so bored at home after about a week.

WSatisfiedP · July 2015

I went out of work at 35 weeks. My blood pressure bottoms out and I'm supposed to lay down when it happens. I also got some 3rd tri nausea going on, and I was really uncomfortable working all day between the two.

Thj417 · July 2015

On my first pregnancy, I took off at 38 weeks and baby didn't come until 41w5d... So there's no telling. Luckily my employer worked with me and gave me 12 weeks after the delivery date.

CaliforniaDream87 · July 2015

For me, I need to push through so that I can have all my time after baby is born. My plan is to start leave 8/8 which is about 2 weeks before my EDD. I won't return until 12/27. Believe me, it's getting very hard and my job is physically demanding. However, I don't want to *waste* my time sitting at home twiddling my thumbs. That not only makes time go even slower but again, you don't know when baby will arrive essentially using your time up before baby gets here.

GL with your decision.

TallMomma29 · July 2015

It's a very tough decision but I agree with other PPs that you should speak with your HR about options (any way you can work from home?). It's definitely hard to keep working at this point, but it's true that sitting at home will get boring really fast and you probably will end up wishing you had more time with your LO.

I have a similar commute and the last time I was able to stop driving over a month before my EDD but continued working from home until about a week before ended up getting induced for medical reasons. Cutting out the commute made it so much easier to keep working!

benmel31 · July 2015

I agree that you should talk with HR. If it weren't summer, I would work until I either had my baby or hit my due date. I would rather have the time after the baby arrives.

Jessa1404 · July 2015

Wow, thank you for all of the great feedback! You make some excellent points I didn't even think about (especially the childcare age limits. That didn't even cross my mind) According to my HR dept, I can take 16 weeks total (some of it unpaid), but STD and FMLA run concurrently, so whenever I officially go out on leave, that's when the clock starts ticking.

I guess it's just hard to decide whether I should go out now for the good of my health and baby, or if I'm just uncomfortable and tired. Lol. I do tend to get bored staying at home though, or even worried when I have too much time on my hands, so for now, I think I'll try to stick it out until the 1st. I'm so impressed with you brave ladies who are working until you have the baby. More power to you!

walterjena · July 2015

I work from home FT for a large bank. Even though I don't have to leave the house I am DONE working....completely over it. Sitting up all day hurts my belly and trying to practice patience with idiots has come to a grinding stop in the last week. Lol I'm 36 weeks so don't have much longer but am seriously considering taking my dr up on pulling me out of work. I've got GD (take pills and insulin for it), have crazy swelling and have been having steady contractions for a good week now. He would like me to get to at least 39 weeks. I only plan on taking 10 weeks after babygirl gets here and we are entitled to 14 weeks total. I'll see what happens this week....I'm done pushing myself to stay working though.

heatherxbergeron · July 2015

walterjena said:
I work from home FT for a large bank. Even though I don't have to leave the house I am DONE working....completely over it. Sitting up all day hurts my belly and trying to practice patience with idiots has come to a grinding stop in the last week. Lol I'm 36 weeks so don't have much longer but am seriously considering taking my dr up on pulling me out of work. I've got GD (take pills and insulin for it), have crazy swelling and have been having steady contractions for a good week now. He would like me to get to at least 39 weeks. I only plan on taking 10 weeks after babygirl gets here and we are entitled to 14 weeks total. I'll see what happens this week....I'm done pushing myself to stay working though.

What do you do? I work for a large bank too, but I'm a non-exempt employee so I doubt id be able to work from home

lethanne · July 2015

I would work right up until so you can enjoy every moment you have with your new little bundle! By the time he/she comes and then you get home and settled, those weeks go by fast if you are going bank after 12 weeks.

walterjena · July 2015

heatherxbergeron said:

I work from home FT for a large bank. Even though I don't have to leave the house I am DONE working....completely over it. Sitting up all day hurts my belly and trying to practice patience with idiots has come to a grinding stop in the last week. Lol I'm 36 weeks so don't have much longer but am seriously considering taking my dr up on pulling me out of work. I've got GD (take pills and insulin for it), have crazy swelling and have been having steady contractions for a good week now. He would like me to get to at least 39 weeks. I only plan on taking 10 weeks after babygirl gets here and we are entitled to 14 weeks total. I'll see what happens this week....I'm done pushing myself to stay working though.
What do you do? I work for a large bank too, but I'm a non-exempt employee so I doubt id be able to work from home

I'm a mortgage underwriter. I've been working from home since 2012.

samiij · July 2015

I'm due August 6 but I finished work last week. Luckily I had 6 weeks vacation time banked otherwise I would have gone on sick leave so that it wouldn't have affected my mat leave. I don't really have a physical job. I am a community nurse and driving with a big belly everywhere as well as being in rural areas is what made me decide to go off earlier. The doctor is usually good if you need to go off early. I would hate to make a long commute right now

. I know I might be a bit bored being at home but I think that I deserve this time off before the little one arrives and I'm going to try and enjoy it. Sleep is an issue at night so I'm happy to be able to finally listen to my body and relax and nap when I need too

samiij · July 2015

I too have GD and I am on insulin. I decided to stop work a little early so I can ensure I'm eating right at the right times etc and decrease stress so I can be able to deliver in my small local hospital

.

countryrhodes90 · July 2015

I'm 35 weeks and still working (self employed) about 30 hrs a week, maybe more. Some of my work is very physically demanding and I'm carrying baby boy low so standing up for long hours is getting so hard! My due date is August 11. I hope to work until August 2nd or so. Hoping to get back to work by October, but I really don't know and it's freaking me out!

KMBC2552 · July 2015

For me, unless there is a medical reason to keep me out of work, I will work right up until my due date. My job is not physical and I would be more stressed home with two toddlers than sitting at my desk. I try to take frequent brakes and walk around a bit. I prefer to have all my time to spend after the baby is born.

Jessa1404 · July 2015

Update: I started to feel worse and worse at work and during my commute, but I just kept pushing myself. After a particularly tough 7 day work stretch, I went to the doctor for my 36 week appointment, and she said I was showing signs of pre-term labor. I'm now out of work and on bed rest, hoping to keep my little girl in there a few more weeks. My message to fellow mommies and mommies-to-be: listen to your instincts and don't try to be a hero. (I probably would've kept going until I dropped if my doctor hadn't told me otherwise lol).

laylababe3 · July 2015

Glad you're taking it easy now! I hope your LO keeps cooking for a bit

puccagirl77 · July 2015

I have 3 weeks left of work and I can not wait! I will be home by myself for 2 weeks while my 5 year old is at camp, then I will have her at home for a week before she starts Kindergarten (assuming I don't go into labor- I am hoping to keep baby in until 41 weeks so I can get her to her first day- CRAZY, I know!!!!).

I have zero fears about being bored. I will be getting the nursery organized, binge-watching netflix, taking naps, reading, getting some meals in the freezer, etc. And I can take my daughter to the pool after camp every day that the weather is nice or take her to open play at gymnastics. I. CAN'T. WAIT!

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