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January 2016 Moms
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Designated taxi cab driver

nikkiirmennikkiirmen member
in January 2016 Moms
Hey ladies I'm just curious to see any other similar issues. I've official become the designated driver for my husband and our friends and I gotta say it's getting to me already. Not sure if its the crazy emotion or what but I'm feel tired of driving people around. If i can't drive our friends home then everyone cancels the plans and i become the bad guy. Am i being unreasonable or is it understandable that at 11 at night im ready to be in bed instead of bringing people home? Advice?
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Re: Designated taxi cab driver

  • Emott13Emott13 member
    edited July 2015
    Oh my goodness heck NO you are not the bad guy! Gracious me, I can't believe they'd even ASK! No I don't wanna be your driver because you got drunk while I'm sitting over here nauseous, bloated, and hormonal and unable to drink! I'm so sorry you've had to do that! Tell 'em to call a real cab, your services are no longer offered haha

    Edited to add: Any one of them is capable of just staying sober enough to help everyone else out. If they're canceling because you won't drive, that's their fault, boo
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  • allsleeallslee member
    It's not like that for me but I feel like I'm getting invited to things like birthdays a lot less. My husband gets invited but I don't. I'm pregnant not boring! LOL
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  • MEB67MEB67 member
    I'm maid of honor in a wedding coming up. I'll be almost 7 months at the time of the bachelorette party and the bride said not to worry, that even though I won't be partying with them that night, I can still partake to drive them from bar to bar and back to hotel. Um, no.
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  • failuretoflyfailuretofly member
    IMO you are. I still like to go out and have a good time and why not be the driver if I'm not drinking anyway? Seems silly to expect someone else to abstain even though I'm already sober by default. I was NEVER DD prior to becoming pregnant so I just figure I'm paying my dues.
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  • beckfacebeckface member
    No way! Fine if she wants to go but if she doesn't she shouldn't be bullied into it! I feel so utterly rubbish I can't even imagine going out late, trying to hold in my dry reaching and staying awake
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  • JovinaldJovinald member
    I prefer to stay home. I haven't been feeling well and often fall asleep on the couch early. If you're going out anyway, as long as you can get to bed when you want to it should be ok. If not, they are taking advantage.
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  • ChipMonsterChipMonster member
    I'm with pp that said that I was never dd before getting pregnant so now I don't mind. I tell people that they can get drunk because they have an easy DD!! Now, I don't think it's right to make plans around you and cancel them if you're not going, but if I'm still going out with friends, I really don't mind driving a full carload of them around!
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  • willashbabywillashbaby member
    I often offer to be DD, especially for DH who has driven my formerly drunk ass around who knows how many times. If I'm really not feeling it though I warn him and then it's off the table. Same goes for my friends, we all take turns and take care of each other. 
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  • sherks11sherks11 member
    You are NOT being unreasonable!!!! I did it once during my last pregnancy. After a beer can getting sprayed in the car, having to pull over for a friend to have to pee on the side of the highway, same person having to ride the rest of the way home with no pants on because she peed all over her pants, getting yelled at to stop at two different food places I SAID NEVER AGAIN. If you are already going and you don't mind, I would say it is fine but I wouldn't go out of your way especially if you are tired/don't feel good. That is just not fair to you!!!!
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  • MamabeagleMamabeagle member
    If you are the driver you control when the party is over. Give a 30 minute warning and a 10 minute warning and announce you're leaving whether anyone is in the car or not.

    I've been DD for many years because I'm not a big drinker, so my system has evolved haha.
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  • abbi1995abbi1995 member
    I would be pissed and just blatantly and rudely refuse for them even to ask. Before I was pregnant I was on Wellbutrin for depression and I wasn't able to drink I also don't tolerate alcohol well my body doesn't process it so I have a lot of reasons I don't drink ever even when not incubating it's one thing for me to be DD. But if I was a usually a social drinker with friends I would be pissed if they made me DD.
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  • SullyNSullyN member
    I'm usually the DD, and with my first we were still going out most nights with friends. I offered to pick basically everyone up. Granted they all knew once I said we were leaving, that was it and there was to be no complaining since they decided to depend on somebody else to drive, just like when I was DD before being pregnant.

    If you plan on going out I'm not sure I understand the problem with picking people up and dropping them off as long as they're respectful. Now if they're jerks about it or refuse to leave when you say it's time to go that's a different story. Also, there's nothing wrong with then saying post baby you aren't DD for X nights when you go out since you carted everyone around while pregnant.

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  • l4rkl4rk member
    edited July 2015
    Oh, brutal. We have an upcoming wedding and a friend of ours was like, "Hey, we can bring the van and you can drive everyone home!" And I said, "Maybe, but realistically I'm going to want to leave at 10 pm, and you're going to want to party, so you probably should plan for a cab..." My friend replied later, "Yeah, I realized that after I sent the first text!" Problem solved. OH, and this friend doesn't even know I'm pregnant! (Let's just say I've always been an early-to-bed kind of gal...)

    I think the expectation that you DD is only reasonable IF they also have the expectation that they are leaving whenever you want to. Compassionate friends will be realistic and understanding, and most WON'T want to leave early. If your friends are dicks about it, just try to shrug it off and remember their time will eventually come... But still leave when you want. And if they aren't ready, just give them a heads up that they're being left behind. Ahahah.
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  • narissa2013narissa2013 member
    Ive been DD a few times so far and feel like friends are real thankful about it. If im gonna be sober any way, lets put it to good use. I dont mind (and i think thats where your answer is... You clearly dont seem to enjoy it, so its definitely fair for you to say no)
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  • dksport03dksport03 member
    Pregnancy does not equal automatic DD!!! Boo they cant go out and get drunk and blame you?! Sorry but i'd find new friends!

    They can call a taxi, Uber someone else!! I wouldn't do it, how'd they get home before you got pregnant? It wasn't your responsibility before its not your responsibility now!!!
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  • mrsjdonovanmrsjdonovan member
    I can relate to how you feel. When I told my brother and his wife that I was pregnant, they were both like, "Awesome, we have a DD now." Even though I don't mind doing it, especially since I can't drink and others have been the DD for me, I don't like people assuming it just because I'm pregnant. It's nice to be asked! I also agree, when I am ready to go home, I'm going home. If you want to stay out later, catch a cab!
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