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November 2015 Moms
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Feeling Hurt and Frustrated.

BlondeMomma92BlondeMomma92 member
in November 2015 Moms
Hello Ladies, This is just a random vent, 
I know I should be happy that I found out I'm having a little girl. And I was, Until I went and made an attempt to share the news (foolishly) With the babies father.
I have not heard from him in months-- and I've slowly been figuring out he's gone and blocked me on EVERYTHING. Social media, and my phone number.
His cousin and I still talk, and she was thrilled that It's a girl-- and informed me that He got mad that we still talk saying it's weird.
I'm so hurt by this, who does this and you would think he'd want to know the sex of his kid seeing as i'll be going after him for child support when she is born.
I guess I just have to remember, it's not my daughter's fault her biological father is a jerk. :/ 
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Re: Feeling Hurt and Frustrated.

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  • oliarnmom1517oliarnmom1517 member
    modanz1 said:

    I know it's hard to control our feelings, and the way you are feeling is natural.  However, I would focus on how incredibly lucky you are that this douche doesn't want anything to do with your daughter.  You both will be so much better off without him.  Who does this you ask?  Totally tool bags.


    This.. Don't let him get to you Hun.. Let him be an idiot and miss out on everything and don't let him see it frustrates you.. He will just keep finding ways to get under your skin more...
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  • kmkrushikmkrushi member
    Good for you for being the bigger person to at least make the effort. Now you know it's not worth it. I'm sorry he's a toolbag but better to know now than later.
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  • emzcatemzcat member
    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think you should still be happy about your little girl. Maybe he will come around? If he doesn't then at least you get to deal with one less jerk in your life.
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  • BlondeMomma92BlondeMomma92 member
    i guess my concern is, if i go after him for child support will he pay it? I'm really worried he won't
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  • oliarnmom1517oliarnmom1517 member
    If he doesn't then let it stack up and he will screw himself over.. He will have to pay the consequences later..
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  • Pontot31Pontot31 member
    BlondeMomma92 said:

    i guess my concern is, if i go after him for child support will he pay it? I'm really worried he won't

    Go through the courts. He will have no choice.

    Good for you for being the bigger person. Stay strong. Build a good support system around you with out him.
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  • jscasherjscasher member
    edited July 2015
    BlondeMomma92 said:

    i guess my concern is, if i go after him for child support will he pay it? I'm really worried he won't

    I worked in payroll for about a year (so forgive me if any of this is a little spotty, I'm not an expert) but if the court mandates he pay child support (usually 15 to 25 percent of his income per paycheck) then it will be "garnished" from his wages. That means he never sees the money and doesn't physically have to pay you, it's processed before he ever even gets his check. It varies state by state, but in AZ if you get paid biweekly, there is a minimum amount he has to take home before his wages can be garnished. So I don't know if he's making decent money or not, but they will do everything they can to get you the financial support you need from him.
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  • modanz1modanz1 member
    jscasher said:
    i guess my concern is, if i go after him for child support will he pay it? I'm really worried he won't
    I worked in payroll for about a year (so forgive me if any of this is a little spotty, I'm not an expert) but if the court mandates he pay child support (usually 15 to 25 percent of his income per paycheck) then it will be "garnished" from his wages. That means he never sees the money and doesn't physically have to pay you, it's processed before he ever even gets his check. It varies state by state, but in AZ if you get paid biweekly, there is a minimum amount he has to take home before his wages can be garnished. So I don't know if he's making decent money or not, but they will do everything they can to get you the financial support you need from him.
    True, but the key for this to work is that he has to have W-2 income.  There are scum bags who will work for cash to avoid this.  The state still keeps a tally though, so if he ever does get a paycheck, it will start to come out.
    YCSWU 



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  • jscasherjscasher member
    edited July 2015
    modanz1 said:


    jscasher said:

    BlondeMomma92 said:

    i guess my concern is, if i go after him for child support will he pay it? I'm really worried he won't

    I worked in payroll for about a year (so forgive me if any of this is a little spotty, I'm not an expert) but if the court mandates he pay child support (usually 15 to 25 percent of his income per paycheck) then it will be "garnished" from his wages. That means he never sees the money and doesn't physically have to pay you, it's processed before he ever even gets his check. It varies state by state, but in AZ if you get paid biweekly, there is a minimum amount he has to take home before his wages can be garnished. So I don't know if he's making decent money or not, but they will do everything they can to get you the financial support you need from him.

    True, but the key for this to work is that he has to have W-2 income.  There are scum bags who will work for cash to avoid this.  The state still keeps a tally though, so if he ever does get a paycheck, it will start to come out.

    ---------------

    Oh yeah, you're totally right. I didn't even think about if he's going about earning money under the table without reporting it for taxes and whatnot.
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  • BlondeMomma92BlondeMomma92 member
    edited July 2015
    You all have been so helpful thank you, I love my child so much already and I guess I'm just having a hard time wrapping my brain around the concept that the biological father could act this way, it seems just so petty. thank you again for all the words of encouragement and wisdom.
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  • BlondeMomma92BlondeMomma92 member
    Okay Now I really can't wait to nail this SOB--- his cousin whom I happen to still be friends with, she informed me that he's gone around saying that I'm a liar and that the baby isn't his. 
    Praise the lord my daughter won't be around this kind of filth. 
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  • Cook3133Cook3133 member
    Another thing to consider is if you ever want him to sign over his rights as a parent you are no longer able to get child support.

    He might also fight for visitation once he gets the DNA results back he is Daddy.

    I think I would rather have a crapy Dad sign away his rights in the Beginning then fight for money and have to share any custody. Makes it easier when you do find Mr right and they want to take responsibility for here.

    I guess you can look at it in 2 ways, you want him to take financial responsibility for here (which some men somehow avoid with getting paid under the table) or taking him completely out of her life.

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  • jasbaby2jasbaby2 member
    I'm a family law attorney who is licensed in ga.  I don't know what state you live in and I'm not familiar with the laws in your state necessarily.

    I won't say it is impossible for him to avoid paying child support for awhile.  However, it would be very challenging for him to successfully avoid paying you for 20+ years if you establish child support and pursue it when he fails to pay you.  

    I'm also unfamiliar with the concept of signing over parental rights as some have discussed here.  The right to child support belongs not to the custodial parent but to the child.  Therefore I would be very surprised if he is able to get out of paying child support regardless of what rights he agrees to give up.   The exception would be if someone else were adopting the child and he was allowing this to happen.

    I would absolutely 100% advise anyone in your situation to pursue child support through the legal system.  


    DS- June 2009

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  • babywood15babywood15 member
    PM'ed you.
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