Intro... I think this is a more appropriate place for me right now. — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

Intro... I think this is a more appropriate place for me right now.

I lost my LO this past Monday after a horrifying experience where I was hemorrhaging so badly, I was transferred via ambulance between two hospitals before getting a D&C. I was 9w2d, but spotting since 5wks, and we saw the heartbeat and on-track growth just over a week ago. I think I have some mild post trauma stress from the sheer amount of blood loss: 6 maternity pads in the first 40min in the ER, 4 pairs of panties, 4 gowns, 2 large bore IVs, something like 14 puppy ("chuck") pads, and an unknown amount of linens. Clots were golf-ball to fist-sized and could've filled a half gallon container easily. I took to calling the blanket over my knees my "shred of dignity". I've been having phantom sensations of passing clots, and having trouble relaxing enough to pee... I associate that feeling with my uterus rapidly voiding. I have a therapist appointment tomorrow, so going to try to get through some of those issues.

I was able to find out today why I hemorrhaged so badly. The ultrasound showed the sac was firmly wedged in my cervical canal so my body was throwing everything it had at it to flush it out. So now I have 1/2 an answer. The other half I'm waiting on but not expecting much is why I lost it in the first place. They'll be following my betas weekly because they're concerned about retained placental tissue. I was 10,000 Monday before the D&C, doc says I should be around 2,500 already today (falls by 1/2 each day).

The good news is that my PCM says that as soon as my two weeks of pelvic rest are up, we can ignore the 1-3 month recommended waiting period because I'm well versed in TCOYF/temping/Billings. Due to my mentality surrounding this... having had a month of spotting to come to grips with the possibility, accepting the loss as soon as I was told there was no heartbeat, and expressing frustration that I've lost 2-3 precious months, he thinks it'll just make depression set in if I'm forced to wait. So that's good news. I've already done the math and my level should be close to zero by July 3rd, and my 2 weeks pelvic rest should be up by the 6th.

Re: Intro... I think this is a more appropriate place for me right now.

  • edited June 2015
    I am very sorry for your loss, and traumatic way in which it happened. Good for you, for calling to talk to a therapist about your experiences, too. I still suffer from PTSD-like symptoms after the worst of my losses, and often wish I had asked for help in a more timely manner.

    I do want to add that HCG levels in a population generally trend towards falling by 1/2 a day, but don't pin you hopes or become alarmed if they don't. Sometimes an individuals level just disappears seemingly overnight, and for others, it's along slow wait as the curve shallows out after reaching a seemingly low number and you are left waiting for several more weeks to finally be clear. I hope it goes fast for you, but just wanted to get that information out there.

    All advice given based on lengthy personal experience.

    I am not a doctor, I just have a working medical vocabulary.

    Always available to answer questions about loss, infertility, and TRP.

    imageimage

    GhanimaAtreides
  • WLJ2WLJ2
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Photogenic
    member
    Just wanted to say I am sorry for your loss. Hopefully you won't be trying for long.
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  • Thank you @MrsGargoyle for clearing that up, I started seeing examples of it on the other thread... I do hope it goes fast. I can't imagine the frustration of a slow drop right now. I'm kind of feeling single minded.

    @WLJ2 I hope so too. Thank you.
  • Yay! Labs came back and I'm dropping on schedule so far.

    I'm a little worried because if I drop "textbook" (and there's a fair chance I won't), I should be below 5 HCG by Friday July 3rd. Fertility Friend of course treats the D&C as CD1, meaning my fertile window would normally be July 3rd-6th. I'm traveling with the kids away from DH from the 6th through the 12th. Which might make this first month a crapshoot :( Any chance that a post-loss ovulation date tracks closer to treating the first negative HCG day as CD1? It's hard to imagine that my body would even start ripening follies with HCG still in my system.

    Labs also showed I'm still really anemic, just not enough for an outpatient transfusion. I'm still getting short of breath and blacking out if I'm standing longer than 5-8 minutes. They want me taking 325s of OTC iron 2-3x a day (holy constipation!). DH just ran out to get it plus some high-zinc multivitamins for himself to boost his swimmers. He eats like crap. I'm really hoping to get my energy back ASAP. This dizziness is getting ridonkulous.
  • Oh man, @lizzie5831, you really need to wait to try again. I know that sucks, and it isn't what anyone wants to hear, but you need to get your anemia sorted before you ask your body to handle another pregnancy.

    For what it's worth, the body usually calls it's own CD1 sometime when residual HCG levels are approaching zero and begins the follicular phase by beginning to elevate estrogen levels. So, from whatever point your body decided to start that process you can expect to ovulate roughly 2 weeks later. However, during the loss cycle, there is too much crazy going on to be able to predict when that will happen. This is why some doctors, with patients that had extremely early losses and might not have a physical reason to wait, will still recommend waiting until after the first post-loss AF to try again. For them it's about being able to date the next pregnancy, but extrapolating for TTC, it means that you just can't reliably predict O during a loss cycle. As for FF calling D&C day CD1, it's really a limitation on the program, not a reflection of reality. The FF algorithm just isn't written to handle losses and TTC during a loss cycle. In fact, because of the limitations of the program and the wild ride that your body goes through after a loss, I would be sure to uncheck this cycle from being used to calculate your averages. 


    I am sorry you are still feeling so bad and dealing with this anemia. Very sucky.

    All advice given based on lengthy personal experience.

    I am not a doctor, I just have a working medical vocabulary.

    Always available to answer questions about loss, infertility, and TRP.

    imageimage

    GhanimaAtreides
  • So very sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is so terrible. It's totally unfair and really hard. I really wish you a speedy recovery.
    GhanimaAtreides
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