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August 2015 Moms
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Disagreeing on a name

little_d729little_d729 member
in August 2015 Moms
My boyfriend and I have been on and off for the last 4 years. We officially broke up in January but then 3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. He wanted to give the relationship another go which I agreed and I just feel like we are constantly disagreeing on everything and arguing. As we are getting closer to our August 28th due date everyone and their mother have been asking us about the name. The thing is I have picked out many names and he doesn't like any of them so he tells me to buy a book for him which is aggravating cuz he's the one that doesn't have any opinions on a name. He wants our son to have his last name which I agreed to. He also had a brother that passed away and he wants our son to have his initials which I said was fine but now it's like can I just have the final say on a name. He hasn't been as supportive as I would like him to be. He's still all about hanging out with his friends and doing whatever he wants. I wanted a nice Italian name since we're both Italian so I picked the name Pasquale. It's my great grandfather's name and it starts with a "P" which is what he wanted for his brother but of course he said no. I'm too the point where I don't care anymore what he says. Like I said he hasn't been very supportive. He is getting the last name and chose the initials so it's like ok it's my turn to decide. What do you guys think?
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Re: Disagreeing on a name

  • jessandandy09jessandandy09 member
    Pick whatever you want.  You get to write it on the birth certificate.
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  • LilLee11LilLee11 member
    I think you're in a difficult situation and it sounds like he (maybe both of you?) have some growing up to do. I don't mean for that to sound harsh but a baby is coming into the world. BOTH of you will be sharing this responsibility so if you can't agree on a name, what will happen when there are bigger decisions to be made? I don't really know what to say except I hope you both figure it out! And I truly hope that you have someone else to support you through the end of your pregnancy (mom, best friend etc)
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  • Joie80Joie80 member
    My husband and I have yet to agree on a name. I'm not crazy about Pasquale either, but it's not fair for him to not contribute suggestions and only veto. Give him a timetable. Say something along the lines of you'll both think of 2 names by Sunday and discuss it from there. Surely there are a few names you both can live with.
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  • albolan80albolan80 member
    My SO and I are still going back and forth on names, but we at least got it narrowed down.... we definitely struggled to get it down to 2 possibilities. He drove me nuts -he just laughed and said no or rolled his eyes and said no to every name I suggested. We both got crabby and ended up bickering about it...so one day, I printed the top 1000 names from the Social Security Admin, crossed out every name I didn't like, and gave him a list of about 30 names. From there, he picked ONE that he liked. Just one. But we struggled talking about it because we'd both get irritated with the choices the other suggested/vetoed, so doing it via lists was just easier for us. I was annoyed he only liked one name, but hey, at least we agreed on something :)
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  • happywifemomofonehappywifemomofone member
    I know that you've agreed about the last name, BUT please think about the possibility of being called Mrs ###, by your child's friends if his dad is longgone from the scene. My BF and I split (and he quickly became nasty to me when I expected him to pay child support) around my son's first birthday. By school age, I wished that I had the option to have my son use my last name. You might consider a hyphenated last name, to keep your options open in the future.
    TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
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  • buckleykbuckleyk member
    I'm sorry your in such a difficult situation-
    That can't be each. If it makes you feel any better, our baby is still nameless :( We didn't decided on our sons name until after he was born and it will probably be the same way this time too.
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  • heatherxbergeronheatherxbergeron member
    I wrote up a whole list of names I liked and gave it to my boyfriend to scratch out all the ones he didn't like. Then we discussed from there the remaining few.
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