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November 2015 Moms
VexyMommy
member
Can't Win Them All - AW post. Apologies to all who don't care.
VexyMommy
member
So, bf and I have both compromised and found a place to live where we can both live happily (Probably, there's never a guarantee on that.) Relationship crisis averted. It's $100/mo more than I really wanted and about 10 min further away, but it has a fitness center, pool and walking trails. He doesn't get a garage/work station or a car care center so we both gave a little. Also it's closer to my mother (helpful and respects a request to not come over) and further away from his mother (controlling, meddlesome, and comes over whenever even when specifically asked not to) which is a huge plus for me. That's the winning part of the situation.
The part I can't seem to win is with the kids and room arrangements. We looked at the apartment yesterday and of course the kids ran all over the place making claims on rooms and things like that. My 10yr old step daughter is really excited about sharing a room with the baby and was laying out ways to do her room so of course, the 9yr old is required to be jealous. Now SHE wants to share a room with the baby instead of having her own room - the room of her own she's requested (aka begged for) for the past 3yrs. Middle child syndrome already runs strong in this one. I expect her to break out into a wail of, "MARSHA, MARSHA MARSHA!" any moment now.
Any tips on how to handle these kinds of issues. A big part of it is she's going through a lot of changes right now. She will be switching schools, she won't be the youngest anymore, she is off of her ADHD medication for the summer leading her to get into trouble more often than normal, and our step daughter rejoined the family about 2 weeks ago. We're trying to have patience with her, but it's difficult because she's pretty freaking annoying right now. Tips on ways to have more patience or to help her transition would be amazing.
TIA.
The part I can't seem to win is with the kids and room arrangements. We looked at the apartment yesterday and of course the kids ran all over the place making claims on rooms and things like that. My 10yr old step daughter is really excited about sharing a room with the baby and was laying out ways to do her room so of course, the 9yr old is required to be jealous. Now SHE wants to share a room with the baby instead of having her own room - the room of her own she's requested (aka begged for) for the past 3yrs. Middle child syndrome already runs strong in this one. I expect her to break out into a wail of, "MARSHA, MARSHA MARSHA!" any moment now.
Any tips on how to handle these kinds of issues. A big part of it is she's going through a lot of changes right now. She will be switching schools, she won't be the youngest anymore, she is off of her ADHD medication for the summer leading her to get into trouble more often than normal, and our step daughter rejoined the family about 2 weeks ago. We're trying to have patience with her, but it's difficult because she's pretty freaking annoying right now. Tips on ways to have more patience or to help her transition would be amazing.
TIA.
June Siggy Challenge 
Re: Can't Win Them All - AW post. Apologies to all who don't care.
Of it is just a 9 yr old girl stage goodluck!! Sorry not very helpful advice
@urby87 I don't think all 3 of them in the same room would be a good idea. They're also past the point where I think a playroom would be a good idea. They would want a tv/game system/computer in there and I'm not willing to let them have unsupervised time with those kinds of things. I'd prefer stuff like that stay in the family room where adults can keep a closer eye on it until they're older and have earned trust with online resources and time management skills.
And, when the 10 year old isn't around, play up the negatives of babies waking up in the middle of the night and keeping her awake.
Maybe make a deal with her that she can have "sleep overs" in the baby's room once it gets a little older too.
@Pontot31 The sleep over deal should work well too. I'm sure the girls are going to want to sleep in each other's rooms some nights anyways.
I'm glad you found a new place! One less thing on your plate to worry about!
I was 8 when my sister was born, and I acted very similar to your daughter. My parents tried to do the whole positive spin thing, and when that didn't work they basically told me "this is what you asked for" and I would have to live with the consequences if my choices. I got over it very quickly, especially once my sister was born
Our son is only six but we have more challenging periods every so often too. I would try to make her having her own room as fun as possible. Maybe plan a shopping trip to pick out some things for her new room. Good luck! When does school start back
That's so great!
A little background: I've been debating room arrangements (and posting on here about it) for a little while. The 10yr old is my step-daughter who lives with us on weekends, most holidays, and 1/2 of each summer. BF and I decided to put her in with the baby for that reason. It didn't seem fair not to let the 9yr old have her own room and give one to either the new baby who will be in our room most of the time or the 10yr old who isn't with us most of the time. We were shocked that both girls wanted to share the room with the new baby.
Edited to add CONGRATS on the new place.