College Student Mom Woes

firsttimer823 · July 2015

So I am a twenty-year-old newlywed and I start up the new semester on August 24. I'm due on the 23rd. I don't want to hit pause on my life, so I'm planning on emailing my professors about my 'situation' and trying to do the work via internet for a couple of weeks postpartum. I also can't think of a single place on campus where I would be comfortable pumping and was wondering if anyone had any suggestions.

It seems like such a waste to skip a whole semester (which would put me a whole year off my graduation schedule, since my creative writing class is only offered on a 3-year rotation), but be honest: am I biting off more than I can chew? Especially since my husband works from approx. 5 a.m. to 6 p.m. every day, so I will most likely be shouldering the burden of night feedings and household chores by myself - along with the homework load and part time tutoring gig.

kedbach · July 2015

I'm just thinking back to college and grad school and I can 100% say I would be taking the semester off if I was giving birth! I also had a very heavy course load pretty much every year except one, so maybe that's why. I'm not saying you can't do it- I'm just saying I personally wouldn't! More power to you!! But may I ask, who will be caring for your LO when you're in class?

lrichhx05 · July 2015

I'm in college but next semester I'm only taking one class. I didn't want to take a semester off because I already took two years off before I got pregnant, but I know my grades would suffer if I tried to take a normal amount of classes.

emmacake08 · July 2015

I personally wouldn't. It just seems like too much undue stress when the trade off is to just graduate later. Every episode of 16 and pregnant and teen mom show how difficult it is to balance a newborn and school. People do it and are amazing for it but given a choice, I wouldn't. At most I would go part time and do only one or two courses if my due date allowed but even then I probably wouldn't.

toccoaparker · July 2015

I started school right after DS1, now I am a SAHM and still no degree:/ I need two credits to finish; definitely not where I envisioned myself or my life. I will say that many other factors led me here; a major death in the family is what actually caused me to stop going last spring, so it is not impossible to go to school with one or more children/babies! You just need to find what works best for you and your schedule, study when baby is asleep, if you have support from family/friends to help with the baby then you've already won half the battle! Try not to take on too much right off the bat, you don't want to overwhelm yourself; I would honestly suggest part-time for your first semester back, if that is possible for you? Good luck mama! You can do it:)

firsttimer823 · July 2015

I'm taking a light course load (and tacking on an extra semester because of it). It's only 13 hours and I organized it so I'm only in class two days a week with one class online. On the days I am in school, my sister-in-law will be babysitting. She is great with kids and, honestly, knows a hell of a lot more about them than I do. x]

I couldn't do part time schooling because I would lose my financial aid (which isn't an option) and I've had friends who left school for a while and never went back, which I am so afraid of happening.

Thj417 · July 2015

It really depends on your course load, how flexible your profs are, and how much help you'll get from family and friends. Which only you can weigh out...

I think I posted this before, but ask your favorite professors if they could recommend a space for pumping. They have babies too and go to work and pump

I'm a firm believer that you can do anything you set your mind to. If I was close to graduating, I would figure out a way. Good luck momma!!

hitcj4687 · July 2015

I refuse to take time off because I know it'll be that much harder to get my butt back in gear when I need to. I took two online classes this summer and plan on taking one class for the fall semester, that way I'm at least sticking with it even if it's not the full course load. Im not super woman and I know that, so I won't over do it. But I think it's easier to finish school with a new born than a toddler.

ann_jeremiah · July 2015

I'd take as few classes as possible, but still push forward... Prioritize and take advantage of your time when baby is sleeping. Make sure your DH is aware of your concerns about all of this and ask/demand help.

FWIW.. I started a master's program in May.... I have a 4 y/o and 2 y/o And work full time. When I return to work in November.. I will have one more baby... A full time job and be taking 10 credits...

Remember what is motivating you!!!

deleted22152218 · July 2015

I too am going to be a young ftm and was attending college when I got pregnant. I personally won't be returning to school to school this fall. I just feel that if I were to try and balance being a new mom who plans to breastfeed and a busy college schedule, I would end up putting only part of my efforts into each and would feel that I was not wholeheartedly committed to either. Plus, I know that the huge life change of having a baby will in some ways put strain on my relationship with my SO while we adjust / get into a routine, and I want to be able to nurture my relationship during this time. Obviously it's a personal decision, I just wouldn't be able to handle the extra load in my life.

ann_jeremiah · July 2015

Also... Regardless of if they give you space to pump, if you want that to work, you'll find a place... I've pumped in my car MANY times as well as restrooms.

SashaDenn25 · July 2015

Im in grad school. Due August 5th and semester starts 24th for me too. Im just taking one class in the Fall so that I havent completely stopped for a semester, but should be way easier than my normal load. If youre creative writing is given in the fall on that 3 year rotation then maybe consider just taking it. Im a FTM so no real experience, but the advice ive had is to savor the time when they are little bitty babies bc it will fly by...stressing over a full load of courses I dont think will allow this, but you need to do what you feel is best for you.

ptelfra · July 2015

I plan on going back to school this fall taking two classes online after taking year off. There's just no way I would be able to go to back to school physically with a newborn and no help from DH since he lives in the Dominican Republic.

raelynch87 · July 2015

If my girl is born on her DD then I'll be back in school 4 weeks PP. I'm taking two classes online and one in person. I already emailed my prof to let him know that my baby is too small for daycare and I'd have to bring her with me or take the term off. He said as long as she isn't disruptive and I baby wear that would be fine. It isn't school policy to allow children in classes but I have seen many kids in classes.

jadetree1080 · July 2015

Can you just take the one class that is only offered at that time and hold off on the rest? I would think 5 credits would be much more manageable than a full load. If you could do it online or partially online, even better.

mamaromeo · July 2015

I did it with many years ago my first and had no husband then, lived alone. My son was born in the middle of the sent, over a spring break actually. I had let my professors know beforehand what was happening, and they let me work by correspondence as much as I could after he was born. There was one who was really rude and unwilling to work with me, I just dropped her class after the first week, and later ended up not needing it anyway. Either choice you make is fine, you have to do what's best for you, but I wanted you to know that it is possible, even in circumstances less desirable than your own! Good luck!

Huaylas · July 2015

I am in the same situation. I've already spoken with my professors and program about skyping in for class and physically return after Labor day (I'm due August 14 and classes start on the 17th). I would say the sooner you can discuss it with them, the better. It might not be a bad idea to discuss with your advisor as well, so you can get program approval. That's what I did and it has helped in having everyone on the same page. Good luck mama!

reyannasimpson · July 2015

Im taking this semester off, babies can not be depended on to be silent/undisruptive in a class. I definitely am not putting a newborn in daycare, I do have a in-home provider but i rather take care of my own newborn baby plus I'll be breastfeeding. I was thinking of taking online classes again but I couldn't commit to that, everything else I have to do makes it so there is no time to do school work. Plus I would hope to have a routine/schedule with the baby before i decide to go back to class or work.
It depends on you and your focus. Anything is possible. A good support of family and friends to help with the baby and household will greatly be needed.

bhargrave88 · July 2015

I took off one semester when DD1 was born, it was a fall term so August-December. I was due October 7, right at midterm. So I opted to rest that term. Rather than stress over making up papers after trying to recover from childbirth.
I went back the following term, when DD1 was just about 3 months old. I pumped in my vehicle, I used an inverter plug in my car charger outlet, then I put up one of those windshield sun blockers up, and my windows are darkly tinted so I could pump privately . I had time between classes to pump as well so I never had an issue. I then switched to night classes so DH could take care of DD for a few hours rather than us pay someone. I graduated with my AA last July.. With honors!

This time, it's a bit different . I'm in a block scheduled program, with strict attendance policies. You can't miss more than 20 mins of class, can't be late, or you get marked absent. 3 of those and you are dropped from that class for the month. I will also be in class from 6pm-920pm. I have to leave my house at 5, to get there by 6. Then make it home around 10 pm. Essentially I'd need to pump at least twice! And I refuse to use a restroom at school for that! I planned on going back as soon as I can (classes for me begin July 27-August 20, then my second class begins August 24. I'm due the 18. If I need a c section, id be dropped due to non attendance because I can't afford to have my husband drive me an hour to school, an hour home, then another 2 hours later drive an hour back up and back home again, because you can't drive til you have a post op appt. if I'm dropped from 2 classes, I'd loose my financial aid. My school doesn't do online classes. So yeah). So in considering taking off this semester again, even though I really do not want to.. I do feel it would be better for me, the baby, and my GPA. But I hate to put myself behind one semester. I have manadatory 15 credit hours per semester. It's not easy to do, it can be done.. But if you can postpone it til next semester, I would.

breezymeema7 · July 2015

I will be taking fall semester off, but I have the luxury of not being on a time crunch. Is it possible, yes. Will you be busy, yes. GL.

Joie80 · July 2015

I don't recommend it. Unless is absolutely necessary, I'd hold off until spring semester.

tarheelgirl8 · July 2015

I'm a big believer in you can do anything that you're determined to do. If it's really important to you that you stay on track, you'll find a way. Support from your husband will be crucial. I understand that he works long hours, but he doesn't work the night shift. So to me, there's no reason that he can't help with night time feedings.

I posted this on another thread, and I can't remember if it was yours or not. But I work at a University, and our Women's Center has organized several "Lactation Rooms" across campus. They are private rooms set up specifically for student, staff, and faculty moms who need a place to breast feed and/or pump. I would check to see if your school offers something similar.

Another recommendation: I would try reaching out to your professors sooner rather than later. Ask to meet with them in person, and get a feel for how supportive they will be. If they aren't willing to be flexible, you could consider switching to a different session with a different professor. Also, they might be able to provide you with the syllabus in advance, so that you can start reading and completing the first few assignments ahead of time.

amk013 · July 2015

I'm in grad school and switching to part time in August. I don't want to miss out on my son's infancy, so I'm going to drag school out some. But, my husband is totally good with the plan and excited for me to basically be a SAHM for a year. It's what will work for us, but you need to do what works for you! Good luck either way!

catalinadlong · July 2015

I personaly wouldn't. You can't get this sweet time back with your baby and you don't wanna be stressed ... I know it may put you further back

but in the end it will all be okay if you graduate this year or next year...it will all work out.

heatherlynn1894 · July 2015

If you aren't working, I think it would be possible but not sure how pleasant it would be for you.. I'm newly married(anniversary is this month), 21 and due august 19th. I decided to take the semester off. I work full time so there's no way I could balance that with a newborn and school without losing my mind. Oh and I have a puppy at home and she's a handful by herself. I would just be stretching myself too thin to add classes to the mix- I know that I wouldn't be able to put enough time and energy into each responsibility and I want to be the best parent and student I can be. Unfortunately, I can't be both at the same time. At least right now. However, if you're fortunate enough to be off work (seriously I envy you) and think you have the reserves to handle both, then go ahead and do it. Whatever you choose, kudos to you and good luck with parenting AND finishing school. I wish you the best

nataha2 · July 2015

https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/pregnancy.pdf

This is an article I found about the rights of parenting students. Everyone who is planning to go back to school soon after giving birth should read it. I

I am also due on the 23rd and my classes begin August 24th, I do not want to waste a semester of school, so I will be taking classes 2 days a week, one online class, and one night class (my mom will be taking care of my daughter). I have not talked to my school about it yet, but I am planning to ask them to allow me to start classes after Labor day since I heard about people doing that before. According to the article above, they have to let you postpone attending classes for as long as your doctor believes it's necessary and they have to let you make up lost attendance points and all assignments/exams and provide you with alternatives.

One thing I am also worried about is pumping, but I also read that they have to accommodate you similarly to any student with a disability so hopefully that works out. If not, I will just pump in my car.

JNOVA2015 · July 2015

People have given you a lot of great views on thinking about going back in terms of what it would mean for you as a mother, but I don't see anyone who has really focused on how those things trade off against the value of your degree. Since not all degrees are created equal, I don't see how you can make this decision without carefully weighing the latter.

As such, my view on this would depend on what you're going to school for, where you're getting your degree, your expected earning potential once you have it, and your family's financial situation. If you were enrolled in Harvard law school and guaranteed to walk out of there with a $160k per year job, and if your family needs that money to stay afloat, I'd think a lot harder about going back quickly than if you're getting a philosophy degree from University of Phoenix online that isn't going to have an appreciable affect on your earnings potential. Assuming your degree will actually confer increased earnings potential (which is hardly a given with the proliferation of crappy schools in this country), there is also the question of how your family will fare without that extra income if you defer a year.

firsttimer823 · July 2015

jadetree1080 said:

Can you just take the one class that is only offered at that time and hold off on the rest? I would think 5 credits would be much more manageable than a full load. If you could do it online or partially online, even better.

I would lose my scholarships if I wasn't enrolled "full time" (12 hours).

firsttimer823 · July 2015

nataha2 said:

I am also due on the 23rd and my classes begin August 24th, I do not want to waste a semester of school, so I will be taking classes 2 days a week, one online class, and one night class (my mom will be taking care of my daughter). I have not talked to my school about it yet, but I am planning to ask them to allow me to start classes after Labor day since I heard about people doing that before. According to the article above, they have to let you postpone attending classes for as long as your doctor believes it's necessary and they have to let you make up lost attendance points and all assignments/exams and provide you with alternatives.
One thing I am also worried about is pumping, but I also read that they have to accommodate you similarly to any student with a disability so hopefully that works out. If not, I will just pump in my car.

That is so crazy close to my situation! All except the night class (and my sister-in-law will be the one sitting). But thank you so much for posting that article! It was super helpful!

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