How to tell someone who recently miscarried...

Re: How to tell someone who recently miscarried...

• wagvan member

  July 2015

  I'm not sure how long I would wait, but I would tell her first privately, before anyone else.  Tell her how much you are hurting for her, and how you waited to tell her in consideration for her grief, and that you are telling her first so she can digest the info privately.  Tell her that you want her to be happy for you, but that it is okay if she can't be right now.  For some people other babies are healing and for others they are painful.  Ask her to be honest with you, and to let you know if she needs her space or if she wants to be in the thick of it, that either is okay.  But to let you know, so that you can best care for her as you are able.  More than anything, tell her you love her, and that you will do what you can to make this as easy as you can for her and give her permission to feel her feelings good or bad.  If she is not happy for you, that is okay.
  

  Katie ~wife to my beloved, Scott for 25 years
  mama to SEVEN +1 wonderful Waggoners
  K~ 22yo, C~ 20yo, J~ 18yo, N~ 13yo, G~ 11yo, M~ 7, A~5 and baby due 2/12/2016
  
  
  

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• oxsarah7ox member

  July 2015

  After having gone through it myself as well, I agree with the PP. I think that is the best scenario to let her know privately before anyone else and let her know your understanding if she needs any space.

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• wisco29 member

  July 2015

  Agree with let her know before everyone else and not in front of everyone else because she might want time to react in her own way and deal with it.
  
  

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• ecmb member

  July 2015

  Definitely tell her first and privately in an NBD way (meaning don't tell her in a cutesy way- just say it). Then let her know that you won't talk about it unless she brings it up or until it's less painful for her. I'd also tell other family members to tone down the pregnancy/baby topics when she's around

  Me: 32  Hubby: 31

  Married 12/29/12

  Started TTC July 2014

  Miscarriage August 2014

  Emmett born February 2016

  Expecting Baby #2 in August 2017

  http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/544e80

  

  
  

  
  

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• 4N6s member

  July 2015

  Just tell her. I think she'd be more offended if you make a big deal out of it (to tell her).

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