Advice for FTM about PP. — The Bump
August 2015 Moms

Advice for FTM about PP.

victoriaaa1victoriaaa1 member
edited June 2015 in August 2015 Moms
I see all these "advice for FTM" threads that are for specific things and I know PP is somewhat brought up in those discussions but let's have one only for PP .

What's some advice STMs can give us FTMs on Postpartum and what to expect and how to go about it ?

*Advice on pp care , pp body image , PPD , bleeding/periods , pains , sex , and all the things no one tells us about that we should know... :-?
meandmrjones14mommyofX

Re: Advice for FTM about PP.

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  • My pp care kit for myself will be a peri bottle, tucks pads, largest absorbency maxis I can find, Depends for night time, dermaplast and a stool softener.

    I know a lot of women who end up with Irish twins due to PP sex, remember birth control if this isn't what you want. Oh and plenty of lube makes it all much better.

    meandmrjones14victoriaaa1
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  • I was a "I have to do this on my own because after a week or two, no ones going to come around anymore", so I never let anyone help me. My bleeding PP would slow down, atop, then start with a vengeance . I asked my OB and she said I was doing too much and to go rest. (I also then bled for another 8 months after I got the mirena IUd at 6 weeks PP. after 8 months I had it removed, 3 months later? I had cervical cancer! Thanks Mirena!!).

    So just be aware that you should accept some help.. Or accept the fact that your house will never resemble a museum piece ever again once that baby arrives lol Because I swear I was killing myself trying!
    kedbachvictoriaaa1meandmrjones14
  • For c-section mamas, always have a pillow nearby to press onto your incision when you cough, sneeze, laugh or try to get up. Take the gas medicine. The gas pains in my shoulders were they biggest shock to me and hurt like none other. I never really had much vaginal bleeding after the hospital - normal pads were sufficient. The uterus massages still really hurt, but they are necessary so just try and deal with it. Do NOT wait for the nurses to bring you your pain meds. I didn't realize that I had to ask for each and every dose, and if I wasn't proactive about it, I just didn't get it. On that note, take the pain medicine - at least while in the hospital. It really helps with being able to get up those first few times. I was able to go home on just ibuprofen, but I'm glad I took the percocet in the hospital.
    kedbachvictoriaaa1meandmrjones14emmacake08
  • You can find this PP thread on the 3rd trimester board. There's a lot of good info on here!

    https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12576547/postpartum-preparedness-ama-trigger-tmi-warnings/p1
    kedbachptelfravictoriaaa1
  • kat+1kat+1 member
    Kotex pads... Don't use ones with plastic for the topper like Always.. And warm to really warm water in the peri bottle and spray before during and after peeing...
    meandmrjones14victoriaaa1LoboandSuperNinjaemmacake08
  • Your house will be a mess, you will be a mess, and your emotions will be a mess; try to remember to enjoy the moment and not stress, your baby will never be this small again and it is the most precious time of your lives:)
    Also the peri bottle is your best friend for the next month, cherish it!
    meandmrjones14victoriaaa1emmacake08
  • @ptelfra it's another one of those many things that varies so much person to person (I'm assuming!). For me, after the first few days of heavier bleeding (which even then wasn't that bad), it was really no worse than a period, and that tapered off completely within 6 weeks.
    ptelfra
  • It could be a long, long time before you have sex again. Maybe not- I have friends who did it before their 6-week checkup but I had an episiotomy and tear and it was 9 months before we could have sex. I'm pretty sure that is not the norm, but I know it's not super unusual, either.

    On the other hand, I didn't have a horrible first poop after birth, so who knows what your experience will be like!

    Take all the pads, dermoplast, Peri bottles, etc in your hospital room because they will charge you anyway.

    Stock up on breast pads- you will be wearing them 24/7.
    CaliforniaDream87meandmrjones14victoriaaa1
  • jakira92jakira92 member
    edited June 2015
    jaquex3 said:

    You can find this PP thread on the 3rd trimester board. There's a lot of good info on here!

    https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12576547/postpartum-preparedness-ama-trigger-tmi-warnings/p1

    OMG. What did I just read. I am so so so terrified!!
  • Almost forgot, start taking stool softeners asap after delivery, ask for them everything you get your pain meds or however offer the hospital will let you take them; it will ease some of the pain when you finally do have a bowel movement.
    CaliforniaDream87meandmrjones14victoriaaa1
  • Has anyone done kegels and thought it helped during labor/tearing and even pp during healing time?!
  • jaquex3 said:

    You can find this PP thread on the 3rd trimester board. There's a lot of good info on here!

    https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12576547/postpartum-preparedness-ama-trigger-tmi-warnings/p1

    FTM's like me, read this. It's very raw and to the point but so so so helpful. No sugar coating anything =D>
  • the PP bleeding smells... BAD. no one warned me of that. I felt like I needed a diaper pale just for those gross pads.

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    kedbachhclzmm14emmacake08
  • ptelfra said:

    I'm a FTM and this is very helpful! But everyone always mentions that "you bleed A LOT" but for how long roughly? I have ALWAYS hated pads, discovering tampons changed my life. I hate how pads move when you move (even if they have wings), they are so annoying and gross in the summer time and feeling the gush when you stand up was the worst part of all. I would say TMI but c'mon, we are all grown ladies. So I am freaking out about this PP bleeding and huge pads :(( I want to be able to go for walks and out places but I was always paranoid I would bleed through my clothes when I wore pads and was at school or at places and the paranoia is back already.

    I hate pads too, which is why I pick up a pack of Depends for myself as well... I never left the house with them on, but those suckers are your underwear and don't bunch like pads do.

    I don't remember exactly, but I think I bled for a couple weeks, the first week being the heaviest tapering off to a normal period. I think everyone differs here. I didn't get a period again for about 6 months despite nursing. Some won't see it again until months after stopping nursing.

    Once you are cleared by your OB, you may want to try out a Diva Cup or similar product. Way better than tampons IMO and completely changed how I handle my period. It's too bad we can't use them for PP bleeding. I would never have considered one pre-baby, but I am way more in tune with my body post baby.

    ptelfrapabeybaby
  • So a lot of the stuff (the pooping on the table or the lochia etc) don't scare me. BUT after reading the pervious thread that someone linked on post-partum I am legit TERRIFIED that my vagina will never be the same again, I will never enjoy sex again, and it won't feel the same for my husband. Obviously I know things are going to change but I at least thought in a few months things would be okay but now I have this horrified vision of having a huge vag and my husband wanting nothing to do with it. Someone reassure me!? Pretty please!!!!!
  • e1223e1223 member
    nakoppel said:
    So a lot of the stuff (the pooping on the table or the lochia etc) don't scare me. BUT after reading the pervious thread that someone linked on post-partum I am legit TERRIFIED that my vagina will never be the same again, I will never enjoy sex again, and it won't feel the same for my husband. Obviously I know things are going to change but I at least thought in a few months things would be okay but now I have this horrified vision of having a huge vag and my husband wanting nothing to do with it. Someone reassure me!? Pretty please!!!!!


    That definitely did not happen to me - I had 1st degree tears each time, and while nursing did a number on my sex drive, it was fine, and then got WAY better after weaning each time (two children). I have 2 friends who both had 4th degree tears and basically needed vaginal reconstruction surgery after and both after about 12-18 months said they were having at least pleasant sex again. It took awhile though.
  • nakoppel said:

    So a lot of the stuff (the pooping on the table or the lochia etc) don't scare me. BUT after reading the pervious thread that someone linked on post-partum I am legit TERRIFIED that my vagina will never be the same again, I will never enjoy sex again, and it won't feel the same for my husband. Obviously I know things are going to change but I at least thought in a few months things would be okay but now I have this horrified vision of having a huge vag and my husband wanting nothing to do with it. Someone reassure me!? Pretty please!!!!!

    I was really worried about my husband not wanting me afterwards too but it turned out I was worried for nothing. Yes my body was different and I had stretch marks but DH still wanted me just as much. I was afraid he was pretending that it didn't bother him at first but he told me that every change, every stretch mark was just a beautiful reminder of what I went through to bring his son into the world. Sex was a little uncomfortable for me the first couple times but after that I was able to enjoy it again. Don't stress yourself out too much over it (easier said than done I know) it WILL be ok.
  • mrsb30mrsb30 member
    nakoppel said:

    So a lot of the stuff (the pooping on the table or the lochia etc) don't scare me. BUT after reading the pervious thread that someone linked on post-partum I am legit TERRIFIED that my vagina will never be the same again, I will never enjoy sex again, and it won't feel the same for my husband. Obviously I know things are going to change but I at least thought in a few months things would be okay but now I have this horrified vision of having a huge vag and my husband wanting nothing to do with it. Someone reassure me!? Pretty please!!!!!

    That thread scared me too! Somebody ripped to their clit!? I'm not worried about my husband not wanting me, I'm worried about sex not being as pleasurable. I love sex!
  • Thanks ladies for responding and calming my nerves that no matter what it will be pleasant and normal at some point!
  • PixelPosy said:

    ptelfra said:

    I'm a FTM and this is very helpful! But everyone always mentions that "you bleed A LOT" but for how long roughly? I have ALWAYS hated pads, discovering tampons changed my life. I hate how pads move when you move (even if they have wings), they are so annoying and gross in the summer time and feeling the gush when you stand up was the worst part of all. I would say TMI but c'mon, we are all grown ladies. So I am freaking out about this PP bleeding and huge pads :(( I want to be able to go for walks and out places but I was always paranoid I would bleed through my clothes when I wore pads and was at school or at places and the paranoia is back already.

    I hate pads too, which is why I pick up a pack of Depends for myself as well... I never left the house with them on, but those suckers are your underwear and don't bunch like pads do.

    I don't remember exactly, but I think I bled for a couple weeks, the first week being the heaviest tapering off to a normal period. I think everyone differs here. I didn't get a period again for about 6 months despite nursing. Some won't see it again until months after stopping nursing.

    Once you are cleared by your OB, you may want to try out a Diva Cup or similar product. Way better than tampons IMO and completely changed how I handle my period. It's too bad we can't use them for PP bleeding. I would never have considered one pre-baby, but I am way more in tune with my body post baby.
    I did a little googling on Depends for postpartum and it doesn't sound like too bad of an idea. Especially for overnight, less chance of getting your bed messy. My periods were always heavy, and it wouldn't surprise me if PP was the same. I think I might get a pack for just in case.
  • ptelfra said:

    jaquex3 said:

    You can find this PP thread on the 3rd trimester board. There's a lot of good info on here!

    https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12576547/postpartum-preparedness-ama-trigger-tmi-warnings/p1

    FTM's like me, read this. It's very raw and to the point but so so so helpful. No sugar coating anything =D>
    Can I just be very honest about this. I read this and sat down and had a big cry after. I will make it through birth ans the aftermath and im rational enough to know this, but I am still just so terrified. DH knows and tries to comfort me, but there really isnt a lot he can do other than hold me and tell me he will be there. I just keep asking myself why I cant just let go and deal because whatever is going to happen will happen. Fear of the unkown maybe...still crying...feel like such a baby!
    nakoppel
  • nakoppel said:

    So a lot of the stuff (the pooping on the table or the lochia etc) don't scare me. BUT after reading the pervious thread that someone linked on post-partum I am legit TERRIFIED that my vagina will never be the same again, I will never enjoy sex again, and it won't feel the same for my husband. Obviously I know things are going to change but I at least thought in a few months things would be okay but now I have this horrified vision of having a huge vag and my husband wanting nothing to do with it. Someone reassure me!? Pretty please!!!!!

    Strange as it sounds, sex eventually got better than pre-pregnancy for me... It was uncomfortable in so many ways while on a heavy breastfeeding schedule but once BFing cut down a bit, and we were getting bigger blocks of sleep from DD, we got back into it and I found I was not only in the mood more often but it felt better than before. This took a few months though (or maybe the better part of a year - memory is vague). Maybe don't read other people's horror stories as it probably doesn't help your fear!

    Try not to focus on this, or worry about how quickly things spring back after the baby is born...you have a beautiful baby on the way and probably lots to do to prepare for it, and you'll be very busy caring for baby once he or she is born... these things are so much more important than speculating how sex will feel in future, when you might be worrying about nothing.
  • Great advice here! I will say that I tried sexy time 3 times with DH and it hurt so badly I wanted to scream and so we didn't go through with it. Fast forward to a postpartum visit where I tried to maturely and awkwardly bring it up, and was told that that sensation is not normal. I was so dry and lacking estrogen from breastfeeding that even a pelvic exam left me bleeding. One sample size tube of estrogen cream cured it on the spot. So don't wait to say anything if it hurts. Sex is encouraged for healing (after the appropriate window) after a vaginal birth to smooth out the muscle.
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