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friendships and pregnancy

Knottie95892899Knottie95892899 member
in 2nd Trimester
Does anyone else have that one friend yoi were close before pregnancy with but your nerves just dont allow you to get through a conversation with her anymore? I have a friend that had a really tough 2 tears we talked everyday and i was there for her through every step, i started backing off when things started to get better for her but the day i found out i was pregnant it was like my nerves were immediately shot every time she would text me something about herself which she does a lot- i feel bad and esp guilty that i cant even bring myself to ask her how she is doing, she doesnt understand that i dont have the energy to do the things i used to and thinks i need "one last girls weekend" or "more girl nights before the baby comes" when in reality i want to be home resting and off my feet and now she keeps making comments about how no one is too busy if its important to you you make time, anyone else experience this? Seems very minimal but i def dont want to loose her friendship but at the same time i dont have the patience to deal with her!
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Re: friendships and pregnancy

  • Knottie95892899Knottie95892899 member
    Maybe i should have been a little more specific, were talking about once a month girls trips to new york to shop all day and then another area near us again to shop all day and stay the weekend, we do girls night once a week or once every 2 weeks but that doesn't seem to be enough for her, meanwhile im working about 40-60 hours a week and trying to juggle my home life my family life and my other friends as well but she feels like she needs an invite for every move i make. Yes i probably am shutting her out a little but because she has no problem starting to text at 7 am and it wont stop until i go to bed. When baby comes im not going to want to spend my days texting her all day about things i dont really need to know about. Maybe its selfish i dont know but thats why i posted here to get other views of other pregnant moms to be that may be experiencing the same
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  • on_the_moveon_the_move member
    Knottie95892899 said:
    Maybe i should have been a little more specific, were talking about once a month girls trips to new york to shop all day and then another area near us again to shop all day and stay the weekend, we do girls night once a week or once every 2 weeks but that doesn't seem to be enough for her, meanwhile im working about 40-60 hours a week and trying to juggle my home life my family life and my other friends as well but she feels like she needs an invite for every move i make. Yes i probably am shutting her out a little but because she has no problem starting to text at 7 am and it wont stop until i go to bed. When baby comes im not going to want to spend my days texting her all day about things i dont really need to know about. Maybe its selfish i dont know but thats why i posted here to get other views of other pregnant moms to be that may be experiencing the same
    Wait a minute, you don't know how you will feel after you have the baby so just focus on how you feel now.  After I had my kids I felt very isolated and texting with an adult about anything other than baby felt really good.  For now if you need something more restful then suggest that to her: staying in and watching chick flicks instead of going out or something.  But the really problem is that you sound like you have changed.  It sounds like before you didn't mind her being the center of attention and now you want a little of that for you, which isn't bad, but you have to recognize that you are the one changing the dynamic, not her.

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  • lmorre11lmorre11 member
    Feel lucky you have a friend that still wants to do something.. I never hear from mine anymore now I'm pregnant, I don't get invited anywhere especially girls nights out.. If I didn't know how isolating it can be when the baby is here and how much you need adults around you to keep you sane, I would tell them all to take a hike!
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  • jharrison119jharrison119 member
    you have to just let her know what it is . if you don't that cloud is just going to hang over you and things will get worse . a lot of ppl don't understand pregnancy who have never been thru it ! just let her know you're in a different spot in your like where somethings are more important than others . priorities are different .
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  • Snoflakes4evaSnoflakes4eva member
    jharrison119 said:
    you have to just let her know what it is . if you don't that cloud is just going to hang over you and things will get worse . a lot of ppl don't understand pregnancy who have never been thru it ! just let her know you're in a different spot in your like where somethings are more important than others . priorities are different .

    I think this is a cop-out.
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