October 2015 Moms

Polite ways to decline a belly rub

dajeumedajeume member
edited June 2015 in October 2015 Moms
As your belly gets bigger, you may be surprised to see how many people want to rub it. People love babies and it may seem that they are all fascinated by your belly and the little wonder inside. You may be open to family, friends, or even strangers rubbing your belly upon approval, although for many expecting mothers, the belly rub requests can be a hassle. You may feel concern that others may harm baby or your body, or could also just be uncomfortable with other people touching you, and that sentiment is perfectly understandable.

Here are some effective, polite ways to decline a belly rub:

Make an excuse: Most excuses will sound fine. You could just say that belly rubs upset your stomach, or that your skin is very sensitive. Once people know it makes you uncomfortable, there should be complete understanding.
Tell them baby resting: If you say baby is resting, they will not want to awake him. You could also say, "he’s not kicking so there isn’t really a point." This will let them know there’s no reason they need to rub your belly.
Joke around: A simple decline would suffice, but if you want to add a light joke so there are no hard feelings, that’s another option for you. Something like, “No I’m ok, but can I touch your belly?” will keep things light but also let someone know you don’t want them to touch your belly.
Play the doctor card: If you say, “I’m sorry, my doctor says I’m not supposed to let other people touch my belly,” people will almost always understand your concern and say no more.
Tell the truth: If you just let people know that belly rubs make you uncomfortable - they will understand.
Just say NO: You never really have to worry about being polite when declining belly rubs. It’s your body and you don’t need to let anyone touch it. People may feel caught off guard or even slightly offended by a straightforward “no, thank you,” but it’s your right to decline if you want.

Re: Polite ways to decline a belly rub

  • Found this on another baby app I have and thought of all you lady's that have talked about this.
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  • I feel like I've decided to just go with it if it's a woman I'm at least acquainted with. I don't think anyone who has rubbed it has asked yet. I found that usually the rub is brief and does not feel as uncomfortable as I thought. It's a way to share the baby with them and it seems to make them so happy. Absolutely no men except DH though!
  • I've only had a few go in for the rub and not ask.  Or do the half grab....go towards you like they want to touch then pull back and look at your questioningly?  I'm mostly polite....but if they catch me on a bad day they might get a karate chop!
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  • erynmberynmb member
    Honestly I haven't had anyone really ask, they just go for it! And it's so awkward, especially because I'm still so tiny. My SO's mother always apologizes when she touches my belly but I've told her a million times it's ok, it is her grand child in there lol she's really sweet.
  • Thankfully this has only happened to me once and it was a co-worker another colleague saw it happen and told her that is was not cool to touch someone without asking. Thank goodness! I didn't have to say a word. 

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  • Just went to visit DH 's family. His aunt thought it was ok to pat my belly hello. DH's parents said "she's really huggy, so she should get a pass". A pass to be rude and touch my stomach without asking? I don't think so. Anyone else have a similar thing happen?
  • Oh my god queens, problem solved:

    I needed this shirt so badly yesterday!!! My nephew's birthday party was yesterday and my sister's mother in law actually came up to my belly and freaking kissed it. I was so incredibly uncomfortable. My own mother doesn't even do that. It would be weird enough having my own mother in law try to do that, but my sister's?! OMG! My husband was trying so hard not to laugh because I was mortified.
  • Oh my god queens, problem solved:

    I needed this shirt so badly yesterday!!! My nephew's birthday party was yesterday and my sister's mother in law actually came up to my belly and freaking kissed it. I was so incredibly uncomfortable. My own mother doesn't even do that. It would be weird enough having my own mother in law try to do that, but my sister's?! OMG! My husband was trying so hard not to laugh because I was mortified.
    Oh my god! Ew! That's so rude! I mean, I get that she's your MIL but still. If mine did that I would be like ?!!! CAN YOU NOT

    So sorry you had to endure that. I'd order that shirt ASAP ;)
  • beckles112beckles112 member
    edited July 2015
    It was actually my sisters MIL so it was even worse. I froze. I had no idea what to do because she's the type that would get super bent out of shape and start crying about it. I was not in the mood to deal with all the crap that would come with that (BIL gets overly defensive of his mother). Every time she came near after that I made sure something was blocking my belly.

    It's still pissing me off just thinking about it. Haha I've gotten myself all worked up again.
  • I had a really good family friend attack me on Saturday and rub my belly, then she proceeded to put her finger in my belly button! I pulled away from her and told her that I didn't like that and to not do it ever again!
    I am normally quiet and don't say much to people, but this pregnancy has made me a lot more vocal!!
  • With my 1st pregnancy I had the preggo glow and people would randomly do that (even strangers) I find it so disrespectful! you wouldn't go up to someone who wasn't pregnant and start rubbing their belly, so don't start now! Plus, They're not physically touching the baby, so they need to stop! Lol maybe try a case of resting b*tch face and see if it makes you unapproachable? Lol hang in there!
  • It was actually my sisters MIL so it was even worse. I froze. I had no idea what to do because she's the type that would get super bent out of shape and start crying about it. I was not in the mood to deal with all the crap that would come with that (BIL gets overly defensive of his mother). Every time she came near after that I made sure something was blocking my belly.

    It's still pissing me off just thinking about it. Haha I've gotten myself all worked up again.

    Eeek I must have misread! That's even worse. My god, how weird. I'm sorry!
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