Baby shower blues :'(

Growingapepper · June 2015

Today my friend is throwing me my baby shower (this is my first baby). I live on the west coast away from all my family on the east coast and she is my best friend out here. I appreciate what she's doing more than anything in the world, but let's be honest, it's a pity party. I was supposed to travel home for a baby shower but I have been having a miserable pregnancy and decided it would be better to save my leave days for after the baby comes. When she found out I wasn't going to have a baby shower anymore, she insisted on throwing me a little one out here for work friends and such. She is in the middle of moving out of state and is really going out of her way to do this for me. But so far 2 of my friends that were supposed to come backed out last minute. There's only going to be like 5 girls there including me and my friend (host) and the rest will be my husband's friends. I'm just super upset that I can't be home and enjoy this with friends and family that actually care about me and the baby. This is a real eye opener at how alone my husband and I truly are out here, especially since our best friends are moving out of state. I can't stop crying. I feel embarrassed that barely anyone will show up for my shower. I hate it out here so much.

capricelili · June 2015

I'm sorry dear! I'm in a similar situation, we don't have family near by so I won't be having a shower. A work friend offered to throw one for me but it would just be work friends and I don't have a lot of them so I declined. It does suck. So I feel ya!

sgleave · June 2015

Also in a similar situation. My "shower" will be people I work with, and while I super appreciate it I also wish it was going to be closer to where my friends and family are.

seamonkey4 · June 2015

Don't worry! Just know those few that showed up love you and baby! I invited close to 30 people, and 4 RSVP'd...the party is tomorrow. I am also kind of embarrassed and if I were a party I was throwing myself, I would just cancel it. But I know my host has put it a great amount of time, effort and money into this, so I will go and be gracious and just remind myself that these people love me. I hope your blues go away. Isn't it fun dealing with sad/tough situations when you're hormonal??

ForeverEverAfter · June 2015

With #1 I was out of province from family and close friends. 3 local friends, my stepmom and her sister were at my shower. I was a bit sad I didn't get the big party like other friends and family, even though I had no need for gifts. But those local friends were awesome and we had a great time

I'm so glad I had a shower, even a tiny one.

jwebbbber45678 · June 2015

My family also lives in the east coast and I'm here on the west coast. I've lived here almost ten years so I've accumulated a wonderful group of friends that I consider to be my family. I wish some of my family could be here, but I know the plane tickets are too expensive! It may be lonely now, but hang in there, the longer you live out here the more likely you are to develop strong bonds with people. Even if only a few show up, appreciate that because some support is better than none. Hang in there and I think you'll find the lonilness will dissipate.

kaybee03 · June 2015

I lived on the west coast when I got married and my family in the midwest. I had a great support network of work friends, but changed jobs about three months before the wedding. I was lucky to make it back home for a wedding shower with family and friends, but it was so hard... especially when the people at my new job were celebrating someone else's wedding right around the time of mine! It's a little different now with the baby that I am established back near my hometown, but I do understand the feeling!

monicaP · June 2015

I am sorry. That must just feel yucky. I moved to New England and my mom is in VA so she is throwing me a sprinkle at a friends house in the middle (third child so I don't need a shower just like to see the friends and family I miss). I really do not know if anyone is coming.

It is tough being alone and far away from family. While I don't have any best friends in our new town yet, I have met a few women I trust and know I can rely on for help in a pinch should I go into labor when DH is at work. One of the best things I did was join a weekly playgroup and a Moms group that has regular outings. Once baby arrives you might find it a lot easier to make connections with other moms.

Growingapepper · June 2015

Thanks everyone. I actually ended up having a wonderful time yesterday. Everything was beautiful and there was so much delicious food! I was so worried noone was going to show up.. but besides me, my husband, and the host, 6 girls and 4 guys came. It was a small little party but it felt like a lot more and I really did feel the love. I guess I let my hormones get the best of me yesterday lol.

PreggersinParis · June 2015

Oh, I feel you! I didn't think having a baby so far from home would trigger such emotions but with everything that our bodies are going through it's only normal, I guess. I too am having a wee baby shower (for me it doesn't upset me; I'm just grateful to have made some connections here, which took a few years). Try to make the best of it and just know that you'll be with friends and family WITH baby, which when you think about it is a much better deal (when having to choose!) hang in there!

jenluvsnevaeh19 · June 2015

I can kind of relate. I had to throw my own shower...... none of my so called friends ever said they would throw one for me. That's not the worst part, I'm a huge party planner and I have thrown 6 baby showers!!!!! And 2 of them was for my best friend, well who I thought was my bf, but obviously isnt....her gift wasn't even nothing to brag about...b4 my baby shower my boyfriend, dad, his parents, or my mom couldn't bring up my baby shower with out me bawling in saddness! I hate this feeling that I am so alone, when my "bf" was pregnant I was always by her side...... now that it's my turn, everyone has left my side and started drinking harder..... but now I know I truly don't have any real friends!.....

mrsmorrow14 · June 2015

I'm glad you wound up having a great time! However, if you're still short some essentials, register online and invite your family to have an online baby shower. Skype with them, google hangouts is also great! Then, they can still help out with some of the things you're needing!

booksandcleverness81 · June 2015

I second that! I'm in the same boat and really bummed that I can't go home for a real shower with my closest friends and family. But my only good friend here said she'd throw my virtual baby shower on Facebook so she's setting up the event and sharing my registry with everyone I'm inviting, then during the event we're doing games and trivia and chatting so it feels somewhat interactive. I still wish I could have a real one, but this is a good alternative

amandaxo89 · June 2015

I'm throwing my own baby shower because I just don't have friends to do it for me. I've invited maybe 20 people and only 3, have RSVPd. I'm disappointed because I definitely thought my first pregnancy would have a ton more support from my friends specifically but unfortunately not. So I totally get what you mean. I considered even skipping out on a baby shower but, I'm having twins and I'm unemployed so I really need to see what I can possibly get from this. It's terrible but, when you're broke, you're broke...

kimrich81 · June 2015

Im throwing my own shower August 8th so I will be amazed to see who actually show far as my friends I have a. Big family . So it would mainly be family its been 7 years since ive had a baby and everything has changed since then.

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