When you are team green... — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

When you are team green...

it's fascinating (and often annoying) to see just how obsessed some people are with the sex of their (and your) babies. From all the posts on this board "hoping for a girl/boy" and obsessing over the OWT, to all the people in real life who immediately assume I want a girl or tell me they hope I'm having a girl once they find out I'm pregnant, it's like everyone has lost their damn minds over penises and vaginas! Any other team greeners feel the same way?

Re: When you are team green...

  • I'm team green! I already have one of each (we found out with all the kids) and really just want to experience finding out at birth this time!
    N (2004)A (2007), N (2010), and L (due 1/2016)
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  • Ps- @mom2be2016 it would take all my strength and will power to not just smack her! :P
  • @mom2be2016 that's my MIL too! You did it you way with your kids, let me do me!
  • Lol I don't think other people really care that much to be honest , its just a conversation piece
  • I am not team green, however, I feel that it is completely insane how crazed people get over the subject as well. We are having a BABY, a little person to raise up and take care of. It should not matter to anyone.
    I also hate when people say I hope it is a boy/girl! Oh, and my MIL "knows it's a boy" she even started clothes shopping.....YEA....

    I say team green is cool for those who choose to wait and be suprised! Enjoy it and try to block those people out!

    My MIL insists we are having a girl and has already started buying girl clothes!
  • Rach8672 said:

    Lol I don't think other people really care that much to be honest , its just a conversation piece

    I think it's pretty clear that a lot of people on this board not only care, but have a strong preference. And as I said, I already have friends and a MIL who told me they think it's a girl, hope it's a girl, etc. Even after I say we aren't finding out and I don't care either way people ask all the OWT questions and try to tell me what it is.
  • emililyha said:

    My in laws are totally supportive. It's my own mother who is driving me nuts. "Let me do the ring test on you" and "your aunt is having dreams that it's a boy". Can't we all just enjoy the anticipation of a little human? :) team green is kind of fun in that way though, because for some reason us deciding not to find out is bothering EVERYONE else. :))

    Exactly! It's exciting no matter what! Why the boy/girl obsession?
  • BabyRut2015BabyRut2015 member
    edited June 2015
    @WineBaby122 yea I almost hope she's wrong just so it can burn her butt lol

    I could not believe she was so adamant...she presented me with tons of boy items (hunting/camo themed clothes) to which I replied "well if it's a girl I can always pair this with a bow"

    I mean....she's got a 50/50 shot but I am so irked that she believes she knows so much about what is going on in MY body.
  • We were TG last time and it drove people nuts. However, I will say most u/s techs are not used to handling TG ladies. My advice is to close your eyes during most of your ultrasound, and don't talk too much to your u/s techs, because they can easily spill the beans without meaning to.

  • sck601sck601 member
    I am not team green, but I completely agree. While I am excited to find out the sex in 2 months, it's not high on my priority list. I have a step daughter and a DD and everyone is saying how they hope this one is a boy. MIL is even "crossing her fingers for a boy." The only reason I'm not team green, is because I'm a planner. I need to know if I have to organize all of my girl clothes or buy new boy clothes.

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  • I'm team green all the way! It's life's greatest surprise! That being said my friends and some family really want to know and are trying to come up with ways to find out. My friend so kindly offered to take me to my ultrasounds (just so she could find out). Yeah, that's not happening. I believe all the fuss over gender is a little much. It's a human-gender doesn't matter to me. However-My husband wants to know and I respect his desire to know and he respects my desire not to know. So he will be the only one to know. Luckily the rest of my friends/family know that having it be a surprise is very important to me, so they can keep joking and waiting impatiently.
  • I'm team green - all I want is a healthy baby!  The surprise was so much fun with our first.

    Plus...I find gender reveal parties to be one of the most obnoxious things ever.

    DD born 6/14/13 MC Nov 2014 BFP on Mother's Day EDD 1/6/16
  • MyelhsaMyelhsa member
    edited June 2015
    I'm not team green, but I *am* waiting until my shower at 32 weeks to find out what I'm having with everyone else, mostly because I'm not eager about the sex of my baby. I'm just happy to be pregnant.

    Not only have people been telling me I'm having a boy, but I'm even feeling pressure from DHs side of the family to "Carry on the name" by having a boy. Um, I have no control over what's been planted inside me.

    I've also been told by multiple people that they NEED to know what I'm having or else they won't know what to get for the shower.....that's what registries are for?
  • We were TG last time and it drove people nuts. However, I will say most u/s techs are not used to handling TG ladies. My advice is to close your eyes during most of your ultrasound, and don't talk too much to your u/s techs, because they can easily spill the beans without meaning to.

    I'm so nervous about this!!!
    N (2004)A (2007), N (2010), and L (due 1/2016)
  • Ugh! My mother in law just KNOWS ours is a boy too and for that reason I just hope it's a girl! Ha. I will be happy either way, not that I have a choice! I'm not team green but people are insane about it and sort of make me insane about it.
  • I don't know about other people's reasoning, but for me personally, I've always imagined myself having a girl and am really hoping to have one. Now before I go and light some fires, my reasoning behind this is that in my family we have a great history of multiple miscarriage (I've had two myself) as well many, MANY girls (like, 30 girls vs 3 boys.) Now I know this isn't medically factual, but I've always believed the women in my family are for some reason unable to have males. I've had this belief since I was a kid, which lead to a lot of imagining and day-dreaming about what I'd get to do with a little girl; buying dresses, signing up for ballet, joining Girl Scouts, etc. (I'm also very aware of gender roles and stereotyping, so if my boy wanted to do any of these things or my girl wants to sign up for football, awesome!)

    Having said all of that, I have great respect for those of you that decide to be team green, I personally could just never be brave enough to wait for the surprise. Also, I would be thrilled to have a boy too! It would be a much different adventure, but wonderful and amazing just the same!
  • I agree with the conversation piece. Most of my friends were/are team green. We're still undecided if we'll find out or not (hubby wants to but I'm ok with not finding out). When I tell people we're on the fence about finding out, they instantly want me to be team green. One friend even went so far as to send me lists and blogs as to why I MUST go team green. I haven't had anyone try to convince me that I HAVE to find out the gender.I've had multiple people say "don't you just care that the baby is HEALTHY" and "you'll have a more complete registry" and "there are so few surprises in life as great as this!"I'm aware of the pros of team green. But if I do find out the gender, it's NOT because I care more about the sex than the health of a baby, and it has nothing to do with wanting to pressure my kid into a gender stereotype. The people who want to find out have just as many good reasons as the people who want to wait.
  • I'm not team green but I don't understand getting worked up over something you don't get to decide. I am excited to pick out a name but buy clothes that aren't grey and yellow though!
  • ashhsaashhsa member
    I'm not team green either, and this also gets to me! I want to know, I'm impatient and a planner! But I've had several peoe telling me what they "hope" it is already, and it makes me feel like they might care less if it's not that sex... *sigh*
  • Team Green all the way! I have also had several people say, "but how am I supposed to know what to buy you at the shower?!?!" Well, that is why I will make a registry. I also don't want to find out because I don't want people buying cutesy outfits I would never put on a child. I would much rather have neutral things that I NEED than something cute they will only wear once and outgrow.
  • We are team green, but the reason we finally decided that is kind of funny after reading what many of you wrote. We were really 50/50. Both of us saw a lot of benefits to doing it both ways, finding out or not. However my mom who knew first was very much against finding out, not in a way that put pressure on me, she is very supportive. She was just of the opinion that waiting for the surprise is the way it has been done for a long time and she doesn't understand why everyone has to find out now. Then we recently told my in-laws and MIL literally said, if we find out she does not want to know. SIL echoed her request. It made us feel like if everyone else wanted the surprise that was maybe what we should do especially because until then we had no real deciding point to help us choose.
    STM - EDD June 24 '18
    DD - January 2016
  • One of the reasons I enjoyed not knowing last time is having everyone else guess what I was having! Some have feelings and some do the OWT. I just think it's part of the fun of being team green!

    When we told my MIL yesterday, she first said "oh I hope it's a girl" but then quickly corrected herself and said "as long as it's a healthy baby that's all that matters". She drives me crazy 99% of the time but she got it right this time.

    Because I had a boy, people want me to experience both a boy and girl. And I would love to also. Does that mean we all wouldn't be happy with another boy? Absolutely not!! First and foremost a healthy baby is what's important! There will be zero disappointment with either sex.
  • Team green!! We decided there are so few amazing surprises in life that no matter the outcome you will be thrilled either way! :) Besides, it's fun to hear everyone's guess as to why they "just know it's a ____". And it gets people off our back about picking a name and then telling us all the reasons they hate it. Ha ha.
  • We are team green all the way! We were team green last time and the dr let my husband announce it. So that was pretty cool.
    We have a boy already so if we have a girl, fabulous. If we have a boy, fabulous. One of my biggest pet peep is when you tell people we are waiting the day, "oh I am too much of a planner to find out." How do you plan any differently? They all need the essentials. But just my opinion and we love hearing everyone guess what we are having. My dad says we need to have another boy, he survived with 2 girls, I need to experience what he did. It's a good thing I love him. Lol
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  • I can assure you that (with the exception of maybe grandparents) nobody cares more about the sex of your baby than you do. It does get annoying, but I honestly think it's just a go-to conversation piece when talking to a pregnant person. I did the same before My first pregnancy. "Aww look how big your belly is! So cute!" Pregnant person might not want to hear that, but it's not like the other person was trying to be annoying.
  • aphilli8 said:

    I can assure you that (with the exception of maybe grandparents) nobody cares more about the sex of your baby than you do. It does get annoying, but I honestly think it's just a go-to conversation piece when talking to a pregnant person. I did the same before My first pregnancy. "Aww look how big your belly is! So cute!" Pregnant person might not want to hear that, but it's not like the other person was trying to be annoying.

    I get that, and it's the reason I hate gender reveal parties and the like, but for a few people (MIL especially), they definitely have a preference. And it's always the first thing people go to when they find out I'm pregnant- "oh you have a boy? You MUST want a girl then. Then you guys can be done!" And there are the others who are annoyed we are team green. My point was just that when you are team green and truly don't care about the sex of your baby, you realized how obsessed our society is with sex and gender stereotypes and putting babies into boxes as soon as possible based on them.

  • As my SIL and I are both PGAL and struggled with IF, the moms haven't asked at all what the sex could be, and we are really thankful for that. The whole family is just so happy we got this far :) We both want to find out the sexes, and we don't find anything wrong with that. My personal opinion is, after a loss, I don't want any secrets this time, but I'm not "obsessed." If we find out at 16, 18, 20, 22, 26, 40, don't care. We are just happy this is real and having babies <3
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  • danasphillipsdanasphillips member
    edited June 2015
    For the record, I wasn't saying there's anything wrong with finding out the sex. We found out last time. I'm just realizing more this time, being team green, just how crazy some people get about male vs. female.
  • that's so funny! FTM and team green!  I think it's super fun doing all the tests and trying to guess.  I feel like my friends are split down the middle between finding out and not finding out with their own kids.  However, I haven't felt any pressure to find out!  Both of our moms didn't find out and I feel like i have more pressure NOT to find out because they loved the way they went about it.

    I think it's really easy to be team green with the first, as we don't care at ALL!  I think the real challenge for me will be if I have maybe 3 of the same sex in a row and I'm having a 4th.  I could see everyone getting anxious to see if we should be looking for handmedowns of doing some shopping, haha!

  • EC2016EC2016 member
    I will be finding out the gender but mostly for clothing and decorating purposes. At this point I'm just concerned about a healthy baby.
  • I'm bringing back this thread because it seems like the best place to ask this question.
    For everyone on Team Green, which pronoun do you use (he or she)? Or, do you avoid it? Or alternate? 
    I really hate 'it', so I've been using she because I sort of feel like we're having a girl. (Side note, I always thought 'mother's intuition' was as crazy as all of the other wives' tales. But, now that I'm pregnant, I do sort of feel like she's a girl. Either way, don't have a preference, and will LOVE him or her!!) 
  • I just say "baby". I sometimes default to "he" because I already have a DS. I will sometimes say "it" or "he or she"
  • I say baby or he/she just like @ChipMonster but lately shim (maybe spelled/pronounced Shem?) has been coming out of my mouth.
  • I usually say baby or he or she.
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  • I'm not team green, but my mother wants me to be. She said it would be such a great surprise. But I don't like surprises. Plus it's DH's first, my second.
    IF, and I mean by a .01% chance we decide to have another baby after this one.. I think we'll be team green.

    This time I just can't wait. I'm too impatient. So whenever doc can tell me what they think, I'll find out. But I'm not obsessed with sex. I want to know what the sex is. But I don't mind either way.
  • I missed this the first time around, but since it popped back up...

    We are team green and will always be team green. We were with DD and it was amazing. Especially since everyone swore we were having a boy and, surprise, a girl! To be honest, I never understood why people get so mad when you tell them you're waiting to find out. I don't have a problem when people do find out as its your baby do what you want, but I just like to be surprised.

    To the new question, we call "it" baby mostly or sometimes I'll slip and say she bc I'm use to DD but mostly baby.
  • We say "the baby." DS has named it "Rocky" though.
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