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June 2015 Moms
HoosOnFirst
member
FFFC: Flame free Friday Confessions
HoosOnFirst
member
An oldie but goodie thread!
My confession: I just ignored my crying newborn to finish eating my yogurt and coffee.
My confession: I just ignored my crying newborn to finish eating my yogurt and coffee.
Re: FFFC: Flame free Friday Confessions
My confession. I act like I have it together (whatever that means) in front of people, but I spent an hour last night bawling alongside my unconsolable newborn (while DS played with his blocks). Newborns are hard and as much as I love my little lady, I can't wait until she's a few months older. I also can't wait until DH is done his night float shifts at the hospital.
I think I need a hand.
My LO has thrush and was up all night screaming. I finally got him to sleep at 530 this morning.... I have been letting my daughter play on the iPad for over an hour so I can lay in bed and rest. I have no guilt about the amount of screen time she gets today.
ETA: I'm totally kidding. Mostly.
@ksimo6 dang girl I feel for you! I hope your LO's thrush goes away soon. I too have been guilty of letting DS play on the iPad more so than I would care to admit.
So, today was our last hoorah for a while, and my boss can get over it.
My LO is almost two weeks old and DH has changed no diapers. And since I'm EBF, I'm the only one up for feedings too. Mommy is tired.
EBF and he's doing the post-feed changing and soothing, so I can sleep. When he has to work, I'm going to lose out of a ton of help so he can get sleep for work.
Strongly considering flying out my mom to be an extra person in the house so I don't freak out.
Don't know how you ladies are doing it or have gotten through the first few weeks, especially with multiple little ones! Praise.
Totally with you on this! We're moving this week and I've sat DD down and let her watch Nick Jr all morning until It's nap time. I don't normally do this but it's been making things soo much easier!
I feel mom guilt about not doing enough or playing enough with DS right now. Honestly I've been so consumed with everything associated with feedings right now, that I feel like I'm a milk machine. Pumping between feedings to increase supply and trouble with her latch yesterday made it feel nonstop.
Jack is wide awake, so I should be talking to him, but I really just want him to sleep!
Weirdly, what helped the most is LO growing to where she can engage me with smiles and awake time. It felt very thankless and therefore more tough in the first 2 weeks.
My mom came for three days during week 3. That helped. I wanted her to stay longer but DH convinced me that having her as a crutch won't help us get into a routine.
If your DH is like mine, he will be helpful and take LO duties over when he's home and let you get some rest.
When you are home alone, don't be afraid to leave LO to shower or eat, I learned they won't die if they cry for an extra 3 minutes while I shove food in my gullet. And best advice is if you are going to lose your marbles, put LO down somewhere safe, and go outside (or to another room at least) for a few minutes to calm down or cry or whatever. And have some friends who don't mind you calling them during freak outs
This friend is the best mom, has a great marriage, always looks super cute, and is a great friend and advisor, etc. She told me this when I called her crying on a bad day, and it made me feel sooo much better about things feeling hard. But she said what everyone says. "It gets better. Hang in there!"
I have always struggled with depression and anxiety. I am very proactive about it and get treatment when needed. However, its just going to be something I will always have to cope with. So here it is... when I first got home from the hospital I was so anxious that something could happen to LO. Like sobbing I was so worried he would die somehow. Totally irrational. But in some of those moments I kept thinking that I couldn't live my life like that. I felt like I would never be able to deal with the anxiety because I love him so much. I kept thinking I would be better off dead. Now, before anyone freaks out, suicide is not something I would ever do and did not consider doing at the time. It was just this feeling that I could couldn't deal with the intensity of my emotions.
I feel a lot better but the anxiety is still uncomfortable. I've always had these crazy anxious fantasies where I ruminate about what if this happened? But its so much worse now because i'm so desperately in love. It's really hard. I have a lot of resources for help if needed and my dh is super supportive. But it is hard right now and I just hope it gets better with time. I don't want to be one of those mom's who is too restrictive on their child because of their own fears.
I went through this with my first to the point that I could barely eat or sleep because I was so terrified something bad was going to happen. I quit my job, even, because I kept thinking of all the worst-case daycare scenarios, I checked him constantly in the middle of the night scared to death of SIDS...
One night, I went into his room and we had just got a nightlight in there and as I cracked open the door, he looked blue. I stopped breathing, ran to his crib, and jerked him up into my and so fast it startled him awake, and he cried SO hard his face looked like a tomato.... That's when I realized I was being WAY too crazy... I was still highly anxious, over protective, and checked on him often, but not so much to the point of obsession....
It's normal, to a point... But I think it's especially hard for those of us with anxiety or PTSD, we love this little person SO MUCH that we wall around constantly terrified that something awful is going to happen... For me, it was this big sense that I didn't DESERVE anything that good, and perfect, and pure... That somehow, the universe made a mistake giving him to me, and that at any minute, the universe or fate or karma out God was going to take him back....
I worked through it, and you can, too. Just talking about it to another person helps. Everyone has these terrible thoughts, they're called 'intrusive thoughts' and most people immediately push them away and reject them... Schizophrenics or those with severe mental illness tend to act on them, but most people are so scared of their own dark thoughts that they never talk about them... But that's what we should do, is take them out in a safe place, examine them, figure out where they come from, and flush them away.
I feel bad for reverting to the swing so much. Every time he's on my chest and it's not right after a feed--- he thrashes around looking for a nip!
@mcknzzee thanks for sharing. So glad you can recognize these fears for what they are, and have people you can talk to about it. Keep doing that, or talk to us if nothing else. That's what we are here for!