Feeling devastated

mommyevans2 · June 2015

I'm just feeling devastated today. So far this pregnancy I've planned on staying home for atleast a year but today we just looked over bills and debt and it just doesn't look like that's an option anymore. I feel so sad because I so desperately wanted to stay home, breastfeed and etc. It looks like I'm going to have to find a job soon after baby is born. Any comforting words or women in the same situation?

melliebellie81 · June 2015

It's going to be ok. Don't look forward too far, it's only stressful. I wanted to work but as soon as I got my work permits, I was pregnant. Just do the best you can, you'll be amazed at how some things resolve themselves in time

jennsuzanne87 · June 2015

Money is a huge worry for us too. One thing we've had to weigh is if I can make enough money to offset the cost of childcare. I hope to work here and there and return to work/ school full time next year but it will definitely be scary. One thing one of best friends/mama friends has told me *whose SO makes less than dh and I* is that babies don't need to be as expensive as they are made out to be. A lot of baby "must haves" are just to make life theoretically easier but are not a necessary expense.

chelseajeanene · June 2015

Just take it day by day and maybe you will be able to make it work, and if not there's nothing wrong with that. I'm in the same position but we don't have anyone to watch the baby and we can't afford daycare so we're nervous about it too

mommyevans2 · June 2015

Feeling the same way ^^^ childcare is so expensive!

julesp83 · June 2015

I feel your pain. Husband was laid off a month ago and he made 3/4 of our combined income. He was able to find an odd job for now, issue is it pays less than my job. I want to stay home as long as I can but unless he finds something soon I will only be able to take six weeks off. Even if I go back early we'll still be in trouble until he is able to find a job in his field.

lolad5 · June 2015

I hear you! We just moved cross country. Starting over and the cost of a baby and bills and set backs makes things so stressful. Money in general is a total pain in the a$$. As pp's have said, take it day by day. Try to budget where and as best as you can. You never know what can happen by the time September comes around!

PregNancyClark · June 2015

I don't know of this will work for you, but I'm hoping to work part time from home- babysitting a bit and doing some artwork. Is there any way you can look into doing something from the house? The income requirements change pretty drastically when you don't have to pay for infant daycare and commuting. I'd need to make about $800-$1000 more per month to offset the expenses of putting baby in full time care and buying formula.
I don't know if this is an option for you or if you even want to consider something like that... But, while you're crunching numbers.... Maybe you could play around with that idea?

jbettles · June 2015

I hope you are able to work something out. A cautionary tale: I know someone mentioned making sure your paycheck was enough to warrant the cost of childcare... My BIL and SIL worked schedules where one of them was always home so they did not have to pay childcare costs. As a result, they only saw each other twice a week on average. It took such a toll on their marriage - they were both incredibly stressed and unhappy, she eventually cheated, and they ended up separating for awhile. They are still separated but trying to work it all out. I know that's not what this thread is about, but I could see that option being attractive from a financial standpoint (and it does end up working out well for some people).

Some things are more important than money, even if it seems impossible!!

Rachelsbaby · June 2015

Did you add childcare because if your just working to pay for childcare your better off just being at home. Are you able to work part time maybe at night so you can be with baby during the day and your partner at night. Then you can save in daycare cost and still make money.

lolad5 · June 2015

What @PregNancyClark said! I have experience with care.com. It was a good gig. I cleaned 2 houses every other week and nannied for a family. You can bring the baby with you.

PregNancyClark · June 2015

So, Care.com, huh? Great recommendation? I was planning to craigslist and word-of-mouth it up! Thank you, @lolad5 ! Anything else I should know?

cuppylove · June 2015

My husband works a 9-5 & I bartend three nights a week 6pm-3am ... I don't get any paid leave so I'm only planning on 2.5-3 months off after baby arrives. Sucks but money & bills are unavoidable

as for our marriage/relationship, we make time & all is well. The service industry is tough but it allows you to work the least amount of time and make the most amount of $... I'd look into it if I were u. Best of luck

monicaP · June 2015

Money can be such a stressor. I work two very, very part time jobs that accommodate my children and make an extra $300-$500 a month. It's not a lot, but it helps.

The funny thing is that when I had my second, I never thought we could afford for me to stay home. I wanted to so bad, but couldn't imagine how. Four months later I was laid off. Somehow we managed to make it work with me only working 4-8 hours a week.

I am not sure what your profession is, but you could consider providing childcare, tutoring, or even picking up a few waitressing shifts.

slp213psu · June 2015

One of the girls at my DD's daycare works there and her child goes there. Maybe that's an option when looking for employment. I don't know if she gets paid AND the child goes there or if she gets a discount. Something to think about.

str13 · June 2015

@slp213psu that's what I was thinking. Before what I do now, I worked at daycares. The last one I worked at I know kiddo went for free if you were working there. Which would be a nice compromise between having to work and staying with baby. Bad thing is that it doesn't usually pay great.

I have to work too, we can't afford for me not to. I really feel your pain, it's very, very hard going to work and not get to be with your LO. The only thing that helps me get through a particularly hard day is thinking about the special things I might can do because I'm working. After this LO is here I'm going to start saving up to go to Disney World in 2-3 years! Which I know isn't important, but it's nice to have a goal out in front of me to help me focus on the positives of me working instead of the negatives!!

lnds30 · June 2015

I agree with the other girls! While working can be a stressor, it does come with benefits that make it worthwhile! Try to find something you would enjoy, that would make a big difference! I absolutely love what I do and couldn't imagine not going back to work. I am taking 3 months off then heading back to work after the holidays! Not saying you have to love your job but enjoying it can go a long way! Good luck!

mommyevans2 · June 2015

Everyone's comments have made my heart so happy! Such encouraging words and supportive mommas! Thank you all! ❤

megs1409 · June 2015

I hope you can find a solution that works for you. PP have had some great suggestions. However, maybe you didn't mean it like this, but there is no reason why you can't breastfeed AND work. It will require some pumping and planning, but completely doable if that's important to you.

Good luck!

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