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July 2015 Moms
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Long rant :( sad and disappointed

rnasirrnasir member
in July 2015 Moms
So I need to vent... I'm 34 weeks 5 days. FTM. My husband is a pilot and is out of the country so I live alone here in canada and he visits every 4 months for a month or so. I'm due July 27th and hence both my mom and MIL are here for the delivery. My husband is also coming July 11th. My mom has never been to canada before and I love that she's here. She's a doctor and I'm her only daughter.

Now my MIL and mom are not getting along with each other. I'm working till July 17th and then will be on vacation till the baby gets here. Honestly every day is a struggle for me as I try and patch things between them both. My MIL tries to show my mother down on every instance and every thing. Comparing herself or someone in her family to every thing and anything. :( I have no idea how to handle this anymore. My mom is only here till end of August and I am seeing her after 2 years. My MIL is here till December. I am so frustrated with the continuos friction in my house. I am used to living by myself and to the peace and calmness but everyday there is some sort of bitchy comments coming. I have a headache everyday and my mom is also suffering from headaches as she is not used to continuous/non stop chatter from my MIL.

I am away at work from 7 am to 6pm. When I come home, it's like battle royale. If my mom tells me that she needs help with her iPad my MIL has a problem on her iPad. My mom wants to watch a show and my MIL wants to see something else.

I feel so mentally exhausted. They try and cook things which I don't like at all as I am used to making things my way. :(

Can I just say that I wish my husband had thought this through and not booked my MILs flight so early. :( I'm so afraid that when the baby gets here, she will be trying to impose things on me or comment on the way I will handle the baby. I'm also getting panic attacks. And on top of that, she has a weird skin disease which causes itching.
I get thoughts that her hands are not clean when she tries to wash dishes or cook :( I don't want my baby or me to get the rash. :(

I'm worried about my mom sleeping in the same room as her when my husband gets here. :(

Sorry so sad and disappointed and I have no idea how to handle this :(
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Re: Long rant :( sad and disappointed

  • jtenkorangjtenkorang member
    Truthfully, I would ask your mother in law to step back a little bit. Could she go visit other relatives for Awhile or stay a friends or a hotel to give you some peace and quiet. It's affecting your health and that's a huge concern this late in the pregnancy. I hope it all works out and good luck. :)
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  • Kmommy5Kmommy5 member
    Is your MIL aware that her comments are hurting your mother or is she all about- been there done that better, types? Can you talk to her about it without it causing friction? It doesn't seem it will get any better unless you bring it up to her. I do hope the situation gets better for you, as I can definitely see where this would be stressful for you.
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  • rnasirrnasir member
    jtenkorang said:

    Truthfully, I would ask your mother in law to step back a little bit. Could she go visit other relatives for Awhile or stay a friends or a hotel to give you some peace and quiet. It's affecting your health and that's a huge concern this late in the pregnancy. I hope it all works out and good luck. :)

    True that!! I'm thinking of asking her to stay with her daughter who lives here 10 mins away from our house. Just going to wait for my husband to get here. :(

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  • rnasirrnasir member
    Kmommy5 said:

    Is your MIL aware that her comments are hurting your mother or is she all about- been there done that better, types? Can you talk to her about it without it causing friction? It doesn't seem it will get any better unless you bring it up to her. I do hope the situation gets better for you, as I can definitely see where this would be stressful for you.


    You have no idea how clever she is. I left my home country and came here to canada just to be away from her. I try and be polite just because this is an important occasion for me. I lived in the same house as her for 3 years and I gave up. I think she knows that she's hurting my mom and she finds it entertaining. She definitely thinks that she knows it all. That's what irritated me back in my country and its not changed. On top of everything, if I do something nicely, she would say that she taught me how to do it. It's like I am and forever will be a junior student to her.
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  • MrsJIsbellMrsJIsbell member
    Maybe you can say you'd like this time to share with your mother since you don't get to see her often and she won't be able to stay as long. Ask her to stay with her daughter at least until the baby arrives and then she can spend the rest of her stay with you. It would at least give you some relief until hubby gets home. I'm assuming once your husband arrives he can help manage the situation.
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  • Littlemiss33Littlemiss33 member
    I would ask the mil to leave. She seems to be putting way much stress in you and your mum. You haven't seen your mum for ages and you two should spend time together with out the mil. I hope it gets sorted for you.
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  • beeishbeeish member
    edited June 2015
    Maybe hubby can call sister in law and ask her to coax MIL into staying with her for the meantime? Maybe it would be less confrontational? I don't know if they have a good relationship but I'd do it for my brother.

    Edited for typo
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  • rnasirrnasir member
    Thanks ladies!! I will definitely suggest my husband to talk to his sister. If he thinks situation will improve when he's there then I'll probably wait for him to come. :) I love all of your suggestions and comments. It feels so nice to have a support system outside of family that is so genuine and supportive.
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  • klirwin82klirwin82 member
    On the bright side, at least you're in Canada and you can just keep thinking about your awesome maternity benefits. Unlike us Southerners :/
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  • ashleytiffashleytiff member
    Yeah I definitely think since you're mom will only be with you for a short amount of time that your MIL should step back.

    Hopefully if you go that route she'll understand.
    It makes sense but moms become crazy people when they're going to be grandmas.
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  • qtjo5qtjo5 member
    Um aren't these ladies old enough to work it out between each other? If there are issues they need to fix them. It shouldn't be on your back.
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  • rnasirrnasir member
    :) totally agree with ya'all hugssss love you all
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  • MEXARABMEXARAB member
    Maybe her own daughter doesn't want her to stay with her? Don't you think that's odd she's with you? Anyhow good luck hopefully your SIL takes one for the team. In the meantime try and relax. Good luck!
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